HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A RING

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A RING


Well, I thought I had impressed him
When he asked me to dance
And I know he knows I've missed him
As I've taken every chance:
To tell him that I like him
That he means everything
But after dancing all night long
He didn't even give me a ring.

Nope, not even one little phone call
To say "hi and how are you?"
Doesn't he know I'm waiting
That I'm feeling so damn blue?
I gave him my home phone
And my cell and work as well
Perhaps he's trying to tell me
I can go straight to Hell.

I thought I saw him just last night
As I sat drinking at a bar
I watched as he and some blond
Climbed into a brand new car;
So I soon found another man
He treats me like he's King
But after waiting one whole week
He didn't even give me a ring.

My friends say I'm too easy
That I should lay off booze
But what the Hell, I'm having fun
What have I got to lose?
Leap year is straight ahead
I wonder what it'll bring?
The very first man I meet next year
I'm asking for a ring!

CRYING IN MY SLEEP

Crying In My Sleep

The days are uneventful
As I meander through this life
Just one of God's own special children
Ain't nobody's wife.

The sun shines and I smile
It cuts through me skin-deep
But soon as that old moon comes out
I'm crying in my sleep.

The snow falls all around me
And I shiver in my skin
Warm soft sheets envelope my nude body
With just thoughts of him.

I count sheep as I lay there
Like I am Little Bo Peep
Praying for rest that I can't seem to find
While crying in my sleep.

The mornings come all too soon
I've barely closed my eyes
It's the nights I'm starting to dread these days
The sound of our good-bye.

I drift off to dreams so vivid
I pray God my soul to keep
But he just never seems to listen much
As I'm crying in my sleep.

The days and nights turn into years
And soon it is all gone
Life gives in to our certain death
Thank God, it's finally dawn!

MAUREEN

MAUREEN


Well, I reckon I was feeling a tad guilty this Christmas as I entered a fully-stocked florist shop. The young lady greeted me and asked "Can I help you, M'am?"

"Yes", I replied "I need some flowers wired to a cemetery in Nova Scotia."

"Is that in the States?" she asked.

Once we had cleared all that up and I had given her a brief geography lesson about her neighbor to the North, I was signing the card when I heard her answer the phone.

"No, we can't accept coins that are not rolled and ready to deposit in our bank. Are you sure that you want to pay for these funeral flowers with coins? The bill is $210.00, Sir."

It appeared that the caller was shocked to hear the amount and I heard the young lady remind him that when he came in, he had to pay the FULL amount, not a partial payment as he had requested.

My curiosity was piqued as I asked her who had died in our small town. "Oh, it was just that black lady who cleans houses on your street. Her name was Maureen......."

I finished writing my gift card and she gave me the amount due. As I wrote the check, I thought of Maureen's husband and her large family of children, all motherless now here at Christmas. They would be busy planning her funeral while I was en route to a manicure/pedicure.

"M'am, this check is for $210.00 too much. Did you wish to purchase something else today or....."

"Please use it to cover Maureen's flowers and don't tell them who it's from. Merry Christmas, honey."

As I left for my appointment, I had to pass the small cemetery and thought of my dear, dead parents far away. Then I saw a freshly dug grave, ready to receive Maureen. She wouldn't be cleaning anyone's house today.

There's no 'good' time to die but to lose one's wife and mother at the holiday season when a mother's love is the heart of the home, is heartbreaking.

As I walked into my manicurist office and heard "Jingle Bell Rock" on their radio, I thanked God that my own children are alive and healthy. I also prayed that there would never be a Christmas when I would outlive either of them.

Maureen, I hope you love the flowers and have cleaned your last house; Merry Christmas in Heaven!

'NICHOLAS'

'Nicholas'

She said "Here's my Santa letter, Mama
Can you please send it by jet plane?
It must arrive on time, you see"
She signed it "With love, Jayne."

The letter sat inside a sewing basket
And when found on Christmas Eve
Jayne's busy mother read it aloud
And her eyes could not believe:

"Dear ol' Santa Claus, it's just plain Jayne
I'm 8 years old and I've tried to be very good
I made straight A's in art & arithemetic
And I'm leaving you some favourite food."

"Daddy said that you aren't real, ya' know
But I still believe you will stop by
'Cuz I heard my mother talking to you
And last night I heard her cry and cry."

"So please bring my mama something nice
So she won't feel so sad and bad
Since Jesus took my little brother
I'm the only kid she's had."

"And Santa, when we're at his cold grave
And she ignores me standing there alone
Perhaps you can just remind her, please
She still has another little kid at home."

The mother read the words again and then
She went under the tree in the hall
She unwrapped her daughter's special gift
It was a life-sized baby-boy-doll.

She wrote a note to put inside
And this is exactly what it said:
"Jayne, your little brother sent you this
But Santa knows you know he's dead."

"Your mama loves you very much
And cherishes your every breath
Never doubt how proud she is
You are her life; til death."

She tip-toed into Jayne's bedroom
And saw her sleeping sound
And as she kissed her warm, soft cheek
She felt Angel's all around.

After that they grew more close and so
They made snow-angels and sang aloud
Baking cookies and sewing doll clothes
Jayne and her mother, together and proud!

And Jayne believed in Santa Claus
Until she grew to be a lady
And gave the name of 'Nicholas'
To her first new-born baby.

THE GIFT

THE GIFT

She takes her bath early
As Santa comes tonight
She lights her scented candles
And turns out all the lights.

She has no decorated tree
So by the fireplace she sits
Watching a log burning up
Knitting a pair of mitts.

The radio's playing "Silent Night"
She wishes she was dancing
Some strong arms around her
Mistletoe, romancing....

She thinks of her favourite guy
His picture's on the wall
She thinks she sees him winking
As she walks on down the hall.

Her empty stocking looks so sad
As she puts red satin on
Lies alone beneath the stars
And prays aloud for dawn.

But sleep will not come easily
And she turns on her radio
'O Holy Night' begins to play
Then she hears: "HO HO HO".

She runs to the locked door
But Santa has his own key
Her soldier son has returned
From far across the sea!

Hours later, she's still in tears
And goes into his room
Gets down upon her knees
Beneath a smiling moon.

She thanks God and Santa Claus
All of her gifts arrived
In a single 6 foot man
Happy, healthy, alive!

She puts away her satin gown
And decorates their tree
"Happy birthday, Jesus Christ
I love your gift to me!"

FROZEN LOVE

FROZEN LOVE


We bumped into each other inside the grocery store
I ran a hand through my hair and hated what I'd wore;
You smiled and gave me that old wink
And as I took your hand
I thought how good you looked 'til I saw your wedding band.

You remarked how I smelled great and wondered what it was
I said "You know, the same old stuff"
And then removed my gloves;
I asked about your family and since they were all "fine"
You remarked that one had moved and then asked me of mine.

Your cell phone rang and you took a call, I guess it was from home
I wandered down an aisle and suddenly felt so all alone;
You caught up with me and said
"I'm sorry, baby, that was rude"
"No" I said, "I understand"; yet it broke the mood.

Inside I was trembling and felt a sudden, icy chill
As your hand found mine, I sensed that same old thrill;
"Hey, this was great!" I blurted out
Avoiding your dark eyes
You said "Yeah" but we both knew, we were full of lies.

I watched you as you left the store, headed for your new car
And as I drove away I saw a beautiful, bright & shining star;
But then I saw it falling
Straight into the frigid sea
And God forgive me but I wished that, that falling star was me.

Snowing Inside My Heart

Snowing Inside My Heart

Santa holds my trembling hand
While snow swirls all around
It's Christmas time once again
For everyone here in town;
But my Christmas will be blue
Since we are so far apart
It's all lit up outside my house
But snowing inside my heart.

The caroler's stop to sing their songs
The mailman brings me cards
A neighbor smiles and winks at me
Still, it's just very, very hard;
I see folks at the airport
Who have been so far apart
Kissing, laughing, hugging
But it's snowing inside my heart.

So Santa if you're taking notes
And you know that I've been good
Give me a ring sometime
When you're in the neighborhood;
It need not be a diamond
It can be purchased at Walmart
Any kind to stop this pain
Snowing inside my heart.

FORGET ME NOT

"FORGET ME NOT"

Though winters breath's upon us
And Jack Frost knocks at my door
And Santa Claus is coming
To visit us once more
The leaves have all fallen
Presents have been bought
All I ask for Christmas
Is "Forget Me Not."

The Angel smiles down at me
As if to say "he won't"
And when I kneel to say my prayers
I will pray he don't
The sleet and ice rock me to sleep
12 o'clock on the dot
And all I want for Christmas
Is "Forget Me Not."

When he unwraps his presents
And sips his cup of cheer
Will he think about me?
Will he shed a tear?
Jesus has His birthday
I didn't ask for a lot
Just a simple Christmas card
To say "Forget Me Not."

I HAVE A DREAM

"I HAVE A DREAM"

I have a dream
That still has time
To come true
For it to rhyme;
It could happen
Tomorrow, today
In any old town
In any old way.

I have a dream
That he will come
Into my life
We'll be as one;
He may not be famous
He may not be rich
But we will both
Want to be hitched.

I have a dream
His eyes see only me
As we laugh aloud
Down by the sea;
We walk holding hands
Our feet in the sand
I am his woman
He is my man.

I have a dream
He is close by
And watching me
Before we die;
His name I don't know
His face I can't see
But I have a dream
He's waiting for me.

CHRISTMAS 1955

CHRISTMAS 1955


"Christmas is coming!" they shouted with glee
All of the class, that is, but me;
The teacher didn't notice; she was too busy
She said all this craziness made her so dizzy.

She hugged all of us and gave us some candy
I left her class last, just behind Randy;
Cold wind hit our faces as we ran down the hill
To await Santa and stay warm from the chill.

I had not mailed Santa's letter just yet
As I knew at aged 7 it was a sure bet...
That he wouldn't be stopping at our house this year
And for church I would have nothing new to wear.

I'd heard mommy say to my daddy one day
That this year our horse didn't even have hay;
So when asked what I wanted Santa to bring
I told my teacher "Hay for our horsey, named King".

We all went to bed with our stockings hung up
And left out for Santa some soup in a cup;
Wind blew as we slept, three to a bed
"Try to pray & relax" my big sister said.

I woke up at dawn and looked all outside
Snow everywhere, both near, far and wide;
I saw the barn door opened real wide
And it was then that I looked way up in the sky!

A sleigh was just leaving and I saw Santa Claus
He waved to me and I waved back because..
I wanted to thank him if he'd brought any hay
I wish he could hear what I had to say.

My sister's voice said "Awake and get up!
I've been downstairs and we've got a new pup!"
I guess I'd been dreaming and missed Christmas morn
Our dog had long waited for pups to be born.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw
The sweetest puppies who couldn't even crawl;
Then I ran outside to our old barn so cold
King was eating hay like it was pure gold!

Inside our warm kitchen I smelled something nice
There was eggs and ham, an extra big slice;
I sat on my red stool and smiled a lot
So thankful for all that Santa had brought.

Then I saw my stocking had something in it
Some marbles and mittens Mrs Santa had knit;
It was a white, beautiful Christmas day
I felt safe and warm, happy and gay.

"Happy Birthday dear Jesus" we sang aloud
And I carried our puppy to walk with the crowd;
Going to church to thank Him above
For all of our gifts, especially His love.

"Christmas is over" they shouted with glee
As the teacher smiled and winked right at me;
"Did King like the hay, Santa brought dear?"
She saw my answer in big eyes filled with tears.

a song "NEW LOVE, LAST LOVE"

NEW LOVE, LAST LOVE
(tune of "Young Love, First Love")


They say that soulmates happen once
There's just one mate in the whole bunch
And I, I've found mine;
The sweetest touch is your soft kiss
And you're the one I'll always miss
You, you're my happiness.

New love, last love
Filled with thrills and laughter;
New love, last love
There'll be no other, after.

They say that we get just one dance
That we won't get another chance
Ever, ever in this world;
But I love you and you love me
And this is all we'll ever need
Ever, ever in our lives.

New love, last love
Filled with thrills and laughter;
New love, last love
There'll be no other, after.

(a song)

I SAW MOMMY MISSING SANTA CLAUS

I saw Mommy missing Santa Claus
As we shopped the stores on Xmas. Eve;
Oh, how she looked so bad
Because she was too sad
That we could not afford a Christmas tree.

Then, I heard Mommy cry herself to sleep
Underneath the mistletoe last night;
She thought we couldn't hear
As she shed a silent tear
But I saw her when she turned off the light.

Oh, I heard Mommy missing Santa Claus
As she prayed aloud on Christmas night;
Oh, how we wished we could
Bring him back so that he would
Keep her smiling so pretty and so bright.

'Cuz I knew Daddy was away at war
And he told me that if I was real good;
That Santa would still come
And bring me a toy gun
And this year Santa somehow understood.

So Santa, please stop by our lonely house
Make her laugh and be merry again;
And give Daddy a big kiss
And tell him that I miss
Mommy kissing Santa Claus and him!

THE CANDY STRIPER

THE CANDY STRIPER

It was a busy Holiday week-end and I had lots of things to do. It wasn't easy having a full time job and a part time one as well, two evenings a week. But I had committed to volunteering one day a week as a Candy Striper at a local hospital. We were mostly females in red & white candy striped uniforms who assisted the nursing staff with primarily terminally ill children.

This particular Sunday afternoon I was involved in the care of a four year old girl who's name was Alyson. It was easy to become too attached and I knew I needed to ask for a reassignment. She'd not be leaving our hospital alive and it was doubtful that she'd even live until Christmas. It was heartbreaking and very hard to bathe and tend to her needs with so many machines and wires.

So it was with some relief that I arrived at work to find my new patient, a man about my age (27), named Kevin. He was a double amputee who refused to go to the hospital for Vets as he said they were all "quacks and queers." Kevin had lost the use of his legs after Vietnam and both had been amputated and now his stumps were infected.

I had to help change his dressings and keep his sense of well being intact. He had a great sense of humour, was handsome and was bitter about the U.S. Army. His fiancee had recently left him and he lived alone in a one room apartment, all that he could afford.

When all was quiet in the ward and halls, he played his radio while we chatted and played some cards. But the Christmas carols had us both depressed and we turned it off.

I had an idea and he was game! He got in his wheelchair and I found one for me and we had the best out of three races down the long darkened hall. He won, of course and he laughed very hard and very long.

When I left his room, he was back in bed watching a basketball game. He said "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

Since I wouldn't be back until after Christmas, I wanted to call on Alyson and give her a small gift I had made for her. But another child was now in her room.

I hurried to ask a Nurse where Alyson had been moved to but was told she had died that afternoon.

With heavy heart I started to leave the hospital. I saw the big donated tree in the front foyer and placed her gift underneath with all the others.

On the way home, I thought of my own little girl, just nine years old. I thanked God for her health as I stepped a little harder on the gas.

Alyson was with God now and Kevin was asleep. And I had to play Santa Claus yet....if I could stop crying long enough.

SOMEBODY'S BABY

SOMEBODY'S BABY


There isn't much I don't have
At this stage in my life
I've been somebody's daughter
And I've been somebody's wife.

I've traveled halfway 'round the world
I've seen the old Great Wall
About the only place I've missed
Is Niagra Falls.

But in case there is a Santa Claus
And I know it's a big 'maybe'
All I want for Christmas
Is to be somebody's baby.

Someone who will make me his
Number one priority
A gentleman in every way
Except when we are naughty.

To be somebody's baby
First place in the race
Would be as close to Heaven
As seeing God's own face.

NEW YEARS

NEW YEARS


‘Twas the night before New Years on Cape Sable Island
She was dressing all up in a pair of black nylons.

When out in the driveway an Amanti pulled up
And out jumped a man with a Tim Horten’s cup.

He opened the door and ran up the stairs
Where he found his baby nearly in tears.

"Why? Whatever’s the matter, my darling girl?"
As he held her tightly and fastened her pearls.

He asked if she’d like to share his red wine
And they drank some to toast in Auld Lang Syne.

He said he must hurry, was just passing through
And she whispered aloud "I’ll always miss you."

Her lips he did kiss and her heart beat anew
For all she needed was air and him too.

A new year stretched and she felt its weight
Knowing they’d met in life much too late.

The nylons were on but she wished they were off
As he ran down the stairs she heard his dry cough.

They each knew the time had come to both part
But it didn’t stop the hurt they felt in their hearts.

He drove through the snow and felt a sharp pain
And just over the Causeway it started to rain.

He whispered "Dear God, watch over my girl"
As he stepped back into his own little world.

‘Twas the night before New Years on Cape Sable Island
She whispered aloud "Happy New Year, my darling."

'TIL YOU'VE HEARD AN ANGEL CRY

'Til You've Heard An Angel Cry

He said "What's the matter, babydoll
Tell daddy what is wrong?
Just climb into bed with me
And I'll sing you a song."

But she just played with her doll
And whispered "Please don't die!"
Man, you ain't heard nothing
'Til you've heard an Angel cry.

I laid with her on the floor
'Til she cried herself to sleep
And as I carried her to bed
I prayed, Lord, her soul to keep.

This Christmas is so hard for her
With her Mama gone away
She's too young to understand
The "C" word that we say.

Her mama made an awful scream
Before she had to die
Man, you ain't heard nothin'
'Til you've heard an Angel cry.

So darlin', if you can see
Our Christmas tree tonight
Be the Angel up on top
So it will look just right.

I heard my girl on Xmas. Eve
"Tell Mommy I said goodbye"
Man, you ain't heard nothin'
'Til you've heard an Angel cry.

It nearly broke my heart into
To hear my Angels cry......

DOWN CHRISTMAS LANE

DOWN CHRISTMAS LANE

He counted all the egg cartons
As he watched the rain
They were to trade for groceries
For Christmas down the lane.

Christmas came but once a year
And Santa tried his best
But with 8 small children
He seldom got much rest.

They needed food for baking
They needed food to eat
So Santa never found much time
To get a proper sleep.

She baked bread every day
And cookies every night
But even Mrs Santa Claus
Did not have a bite.

She knit each pair of mittens
And bought the girls a doll
They would have to share her
And she wrapped the boys a ball.

Their stockings got an apple
A few nuts and a candy cane
That was all their Christmas
For the family down the lane.

But snow fell as they slept
And a new sled all did see
A goose in the oven
And a red yo-yo for me.

Tender were the moments
Laughter filled their home
And what he gave to Mrs Claus
Was a lovely and sweet poem.

The animals ate in the barn
And the family laughed again
Jesus had His birthday cake
From the family down the lane.

HOPELESS

HOPELESS

Sometimes when the wind blows
And the snow won't stay away
And the traffic keeps on moving
Day after day after day----
The city seems to never slow
Or even go to sleep
He looks out of the window
And wishes he could leap.

He recalls another time
When he had a life
Kids and even grandkids
And a loving wife---
Before the booze drove them away
And he found himself alone
Homeless, broke, addicted
No place to call a home.

The job was the next to go
And the bank took his car
Off on foot with no income
He couldn't go very far...
He ended at this shelter
And now it's been ten weeks
Christmas is tomorrow
But he can't fall asleep.

He once believed in Santa Claus
Like he once believed in love
Now he believes in nothing
Not even in Him above...
Sometimes he can't even cry
Just sits alone and smokes
And when no-one is looking
Can't wait to snort some coke.

But one day soon he'll leave
And move on down the road
Hop a train to anyplace
Maybe to Mexico...
His past is far behind him
His future is untold
All he has is just today
And he's fifty-five years old.

Hopeless......

SANTA?

SANTA?

She knew Santa Claus wasn't real and now as a grown up woman, she felt foolish to be standing in line to see him. There were mostly small children with their parents and a few kids with their older siblings. The line was long as she sipped her cup of Tim Horten's hot chocolate.

She'd been at the mall all evening and was tired from shopping but didn't want to go home again to face her lonely apartment. The tree was lit, candy filled the red and green dishes and even a Christmas carol could be heard now and then. But still, this Christmas she was lonesome and blue.

So she decided that since it was Friday night and she could sleep in tomorrow, she had no reason to go home. She'd sit on Santa's lap and ask him to bring her someone special next year. Maybe even buy a photo of them together........

She listened carefully as she watched the people in line. There was laughter but mostly they were impatient and argumentative. The fathers kept looking at their watches; the wives were on their cell phones and the kids were playing with their Gameboys. Life in the fast lane, city style.

She'd never had any children and wasn't sure she wanted any, though her ex husband sure did. That was one of the reasons they'd split up after nine happy years. He wanted a family and she just wasn't ready and maybe never would be.

But she missed him and their life together. This was their first Christmas apart and it made her sad. She had loved being married but next time, she wanted him to be a different sort of man. She longed to love and laugh and live again!

The line was getting shorter now and she could hear Santa's big "HO HO HO." He had a fake white beard and a very large tummy but was smiling at every small child, especially the babies. What a nice caring Santa!

Her turn came and she nervously approached his wide lap. "Hello, Santa; I'm Angie and I have been good and....."

Suddenly, he was trembling and she stopped to look at his face and saw those brown eyes and dark complexion and she knew! My God, it was.......no, it couldn't be!

But it was him, her ex husband and she hurriedly rose to leave, embarressed and bewildered. Kids were close by and waiting their turn too so she just said "Merry Christmas, Santa."

He replied, softly and slowly "Santa won't forget you on Christmas Eve; or ever."

As she drove home in the new snow, the tears started. The radio played a carol: "there's an old Christmas card, in an old dusty trunk".......and she turned it off as she pulled into the driveway of her new apartment. Her front door was covered in snow; she couldn't see to find the right key.

She found out for sure that there really isn't a Santa Claus that night. But she'd still leave his favourite pie and milk out on Christmas Eve. Just in case......

'I STILL MISS SOMEONE"

"I STILL MISS SOMEONE"

The doorman greets her with a smile
Says "No charge; go right in"
The pub is very dimly lit
As the band will soon begin.

She sips her cup of coffee
And sits beside the stage
Glances all around her
And suddenly feels her age.

The dance floor is all crowded
Before she's caught his eye
He looks surprised at first
Then mouths a silent "hi".

He watches her through-out the dance
And wonders why she came
She's never liked his music
Or the band's new name.

He reads a request on paper
And when it has been sung
He wonders who had sent it:
"I STILL MISS SOMEONE."

He never saw her leave the hall
Guess she just got bored
She'd be asleep when he got home
And he strummed a final chord.

The sexy barmaid whispered low
"Going now? Need company?"
But he kept right on walkin'
'Cuz he just wasn't free.

He sat inside their spotless house
And cried for what was gone
And reached for his old guitar
To sing himself a song.

Somewhere in another room
A woman hears a noise
And cries into her pillow
As she listens to his voice......

"I still miss someone".......

a poem for my late dear brother

MISSING RODNEY:


Heaven must be happier
With Mom & Dad's own son
Singing Christmas carols
To each and every one.

I know he must miss family
From down here below
Especially Jon and Jamin
How he loved them so.

We all miss & love you, Rod
And Minnie is all right
But I know you hear her
Often, crying in the night.

We think of you so many times
And wish you could be here
But I guess God had other plans
Still, we have to shed a tear.

Keep on singing and grinning
Rod, as only you can do
And someday before too long
We'll join in there with you.

CANDLELIGHT & MISTLETOE

CANDLELIGHT & MISTLETOE

Christmastime is here again
Amidst the hurry scurry
The fireplace is all in red
And everyone is merry.

A man tries to wrap a gift
A woman bakes a cake
All the world is silent
All the worlds awake.

She stops to wipe off flour
He tries to tie a bow
When they both look up
They each see mistletoe.

He reaches in the candlelight
For her hand in his
And they hold each other
In a long, tender kiss.

She removes her apron
He pulls her on his lap
And she whispers in his ear
"I see Santa has got up?"

Underneath the mistletoe
In the candlelight
A man and his woman
Share Christmas Eve tonight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS

Happy Birthday, Jesus

The winter snow falls once again
As the year draws to an end
Children laugh and wish for toys
Many gifts for girls and boys.

We exchange presents 'neath the tree
One for you and one for me
Celebrate throughout the land
The greatest news since time began.

Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ
Though gifts may all be very nice
Having our Father 's Holy love
Is the greatest gift from up above.

A WARM ROOM, A WARM MEMORY

When I lived in Atlanta, our local newspaper, the ATLANTA JOURNAL & CONSTITUTION, had a contest in Dec.1995, in which kids were asked to submit a story (real or make-believe) about Chritmas memories. The prize was $50.00. Darned if my son, Brett, didn't win 1st place and so when we picked up our morning paper on Dec. 25th, guess who's "story" was on the front page? They had also illustrated it and what the artist drew, looked EXACTLY as we'd seen (stranger's face and body as well as his dog).


The following is his story, nothing changed, altered, deleted or added.


"A WARM ROOM, A WARM MEMORY"

A TRUE STORY
BY BRETT MUNDELL SHORT
14, WHEELER HIGH SCHOOL

One Christmas, when I was 10 years old, my mom and I drove from our home here in Marietta, GA. to Texas, where my Aunt Phyllis lived.

Just before we left, there was a big fire in our complex. About eight families lost their condo's and everything inside. We were not too happy when we began the long ride to Texas in freezing temperatures, at dawn. We didn't have much money, either.

We drove all day and stayed that blustery night at a motel halfway, maybe Louisiana, I can't remember. When we got up very early, our white Camaro was all frozen over as it was bitter cold. We went inside the warm motel to pay and to eat in their restaurant. We both had hot breakfasts and hot drinks.

Through the ice and snow, we could see a thin man and his scrawny dog walking from the dark main highway toward our motel. No one else was out that early----6 a.m.---and we thought they must have hitchhiked that far. the weather had turned blustery and frigid, only about 10F.

The man came inside and filled a can with water to give to his dog, tied outside. They both looked so cold, hungry and pitiful. Then the man came inside and sat down to order; he only asked for coffee. He tried to warm his hands around the cup.

It was time for us to go so my mom paid for our food. When we got outside, the man was patting his trembling dog.

Suddenly, my mom went back inside and I followed. She asked for the motel manager. Then she explained that even though we had checked out earlier, didn't we pay for our room until noon? He replied "yes". Then she asked if we could let a homeless man use it until then? He asked if we knew the man and she replied "no, but he looks like he could use some warmth, sleep and a hot shower." (She never mentioned the dog).

The nice manager agreed! She thanked him, wished him a very Merry Christmas and as we left the motel, she told the stranger that he was more than welcome to use our room until 12 noon. His face lit up like a Christmas tree! SIX WHOLE HOURS inside a warm, private room! He smiled broadly and shyly said "Thank you, Ma'am. I sure do thank you!"

We defrosted our windows and warmed our car for the long ride to my aunt's house. When we pulled out of the parking lot, the man and his dog were using the door key to enter our motel room. He turned to watch us leave, and, at that moment, my mom and I both thought he looked just like Jesus!

We went down the highway, happy and laughing, imagining him and his best friend all warm and cuddled in their two, big, soft beds. I wished later I had given him my five dollar allowance I had in my pocket but I wanted to buy my mother something for Christmas. Perhaps God would feed them?

It is my all-time favourite Christmas memory and I'm 14 years old now.

HALIFAX

HALIFAX

I've come to the city of Halifax
For winter work and play
A change of pace never hurts
And though I cannot stay.....
I'm handy to the movies
I've more to do down here
Still, I miss the ocean view
And the ol' fishing pier.

I'm an outgoing people person
And so I hope to meet
Folks who love music and life
Who will smile and speak.....
I may get lost many times
But that's what maps are for
As I walk outside my home
I long to walk some more.

Shopping, movies, restaurants
A brand new job for awhile
A child who needs my attention
Who will make me smile...
It's different and it's lonesome
But who know what's ahead?
A challenge and a new place
To rest my weary head.

So it's hello to the city life
And good-bye to my Blue Haven
I ask God to watch my dog
Who, I'm proud to hears behavin'....
Life is short and should be lived
And so I start my journey
Wintering in Halifax
Living, loving, learning.

THE BOYS

"THE BOYS"

It happened in late October
On a cool southern night
'Twas just before Halloween
When the moon was shining bright;
We heard it on the TV
That a car had been stolen
A lie that echoed 'round the world
But we had no way of knowin'.

Their mama said a stranger
Had "stole my car and boys"
14 months and 3 years old
Holding just their toys;
Strapped into their seat belts
Together, in the back
Her description of the man
Was just that he was BLACK.

We watched, prayed and worried
Could think of nothing but
Michael and little Alex
It stuck right in our gut!
Kids went trick or treating
We stayed close by their side
In case another 'black' man
Took THEM for a ride.

For 9 long days the mama begged
For leads, calls, evidence
But we saw no tears from her
Her story didn't make sense;
Then the sherrif came on TV
This statement he did make:
Susan had confessed at last
She'd drowned her babies in the lake!

We wept for little Alex
Who was just a baby
We prayed that little Michael
Never knew the lady
That he loved as Mama
Left them there to die
We wondered if she bothered
To tell her sons good-bye.

We drove to the lake one afternoon
We hugged their daddy's neck
We watch their mother on the news
It makes us a nervous wreck;
"Mike & Alex...we thought you were lost
As we worried who'd done you wrong
Now we know and we can rest
You both were with Jesus all along!"

POLLY

I wrote this true piece on August 24th, 2003:

POLLY

This is an update on my dear friend Polly.....'

Yesterday on the telephone, she thought she'd really like to go out to lunch with me Sunday. This morning when I called her to confirm our plans, she was hardly able to speak.

An hour's drive later, I arrived at noon and tapped on her door; the place was so quiet for a beautiful Sunday. I passed many opened doors in which old, shrivelled ladies sat alone, staring into empty space or a television set, oblivious to me or anything else.

This is an assisted "living" home, spic & span clean, a place for the wealthy to expire.

Polly opened the door and she seemed to have shrunk a foot. Her back is now hunched over so much, it's hard to make eye contact with her. She never was very tall. She said she feels so weak! The strong medication she's on, has her drugged and acting like a zombie. Her sweet and humourous personality has completely disappeared. It broke my heart to see her this way; her blue eyes are one blank look. There's nothing in them anymore.

Her sharp mind has all but left her. She sits and stares into space, all the while fiddling slowly with the sharp crease in her navy blue slacks. Her crisp shirt is printed with cheerful flowers and tucked neatly in her too-large pants.

We ate in the dining room with approximately 25 other widows and two widowers. It was a very quiet, solumn lunch spent with me cutting up her food and helping her keep hers on her fork. We toasted each other to "the good old days" and she smiled her old smile for me. That's the only time that she did. We discussed her wonderful Sunday dinners when she'd charbroil our individual ribeye steaks, make home-made french fries and garlic Texas toast; her delicious coconut cream pies for dessert.

I thanked her for making all of my clothes back in 1961/1962 when I was a freshman in a Georgia High School. She said she loved doing it; she even remembered which was my favourite....a sleeveless straight sundress with small orange flowers over a white background. I can see her selecting the pattern and material........stitching away in the second bedroom .......

Back in her room, I showed her again how to use the remote control but who knows if she'll remember? When asked how she passes her time, besides the two to three trips to the dining room in her wheelchair, she said "I sit." She doesn't watch tv, listen to the radio, talk on the phone....nothing.

I knew better than to invite her to visit my home as her son (my ex-brother-in-law) monitors her life and would not approve.

When we were walking in the halls together, someone asked me if I was her daughter or daughter-in-law? I replied "Neither; we're just good friends." After she walked away from us, Polly said "We're better than related." That says it all for me.

She only asked me one question today: "Heather, how old am I?" When I replied "87" she looked shocked.

I'll miss her and I know I'll never see her again in this world. I couldn't tell her of my move back to Canada. I just couldn't; she might think I'm deserting her. I drove home in tears, unable to even listen to my radio for the hour drive through the country-side.

God, please watch over my good friend Polly and somehow let her feel my love and Yours; that's all I ask of You today.

Note: Polly died sometime later; I was never notified of her death and found out by accident. My cards and letters were returned so I was not too surprised. My love for her and hers for me, did not and never will die.

7TH INNING STRETCH

SEVENTH INNING STRETCH

Sometimes life throws a curveball
Sometimes it throws a strike
Sometimes one gets injured
Or ends up in a fight.

Sometimes we hit a home-run
Sometimes we get to walk
And then there's those times
We even get to balk.

Life is like a ballgame
Sometimes we just strike out
And Casey isn't always there
To straighten things about.

Never argue with the Ump
And just accept the call
Respect the other pitcher
Who controls the ball.

And in the 7th inning stretch
While you still have some hope
Go to bat for what 'you' want
Or you'll just have to cope.

Our lives are like nine innings
There's 'extra' ones sometimes
Learn to read the signals
And run between the lines.

Most of us are well into
That 7th inning stretch
When the ball is falling
Run like HELL and catch.

If you lose the game of ball
And the bases you can't run
Remember it's the stats that count
Just try to have some fun.

And when the 'Ump' calls you "OUT!"
And your life on earth is through
Will there be any doubt
Just who He's talking to?

So in the 7th inning stretch
Look around & evaluate
Error, strike, ball or walk?
You're up to bat....don't wait!

TODAY

TODAY

Yesterday you bruised my heart
And I cried myself to sleep
Yesterday you did me wrong
And it cut so deep;
Baby, listen up & listen well
To what I have to say
Be gentle with my feelings
I don't feel like crying...today.

I don't feel like sobbing
Into my pillow tonight
I don't feel like frowning
For everyone in sight;
You can smile and even laugh
With all your many pals
Play your music and guitar
For all the pretty gals.

I have looked at your photo
And I have said a prayer
That you will see beyond
My bosum and my hair;
'Cuz I don't feel like talking
To someone who can't stay
Keep walking, 'cuz you see
I don't feel like crying...today.

I don't feel like crying....today.

IN MEMORY OF DADDY....

In loving memory of Daddy, who died Oct. 29th, 1996 at the age of 92 1/2...........my Hero!!

DAD


Thank you for the spankings, Dad
They taught me some respect
And thanks for the pep talks
That caused me to reflect:
Why be a "Follower"
When a "Leader's" more correct?
And thanks for never letting me
Lose my self-respect.

I appreciate your guidance
Taking me to Church
Correcting my posture
Even when it hurt;
When I did not wet my bed
You bought me a fur muff
Threatned me with bodily harm
When I took a puff.

I appreciate your anger now
And looking back at us
I have to stop and smile
I'm sorry for the fuss;
I must have been a brat
Yet your love saw me through
Eleven years have gone, Dad
But not my love for YOU.

THANKSGIVING

THANKSGIVING

Hi, God and Jesus Christ
It's only me again
Just another divorcee
With the usual sins;
Tomorrow's our Thanksgiving
And I just want to say
How much I appreciate
That very special day.

It's not about the turkey
Or the pumpkin pie
It's not about a football game
Nor is it about me and I;
Sometimes when I am
Just eating all alone
I bow my head to pray
And hear you say "stay strong."

Thanks for the sweet music
And ears to hear it with
And thanks for the Autumn leaves
And eyes...oh, what a gift;
Thanks for the taste of food
And for the touch of Love
And most of all, precious God
For your blessings from above.

So today I give many thanks
For the simple things
The sunshine or the fog
Not for jewells and rings;
I thank you for my kids
For many dear friends
And thank you for myself
From beginning to the end.

You know how I love Camo
And how I love You both
Thank you for my home here
And my friends down South;
Thanks for health and humour
For each breath I take
And I'll talk to You later
'Cuz I've a pie to bake!

NO PLANS....

NO PLANS

"Fifteen cents" he asked of me
And I replied "Of course"
He also bought a poster
Of when I had a horse;
One by one I sold them
At my garage sale today
I watched strangers smiling
But I could hear you say:

"Don't you dare sell my tools
Give them to my friends
And don't sell my tractor
I promised that to Ben;
Keep all my coin collection, dear
Fot the boys when they're old
And save that old Army coat
To wear when you get cold. "

"Two dollars for your baseball?"
He broke my train of thought
"Sure" I said and burst in tears
I recalled when we'd bought
That baseball and another bat
So he could teach the boys
The game he loved so very much
That brought us so much joy.

I sold his childhood train sets
I sold his old eight tracks
I even sold his guitar
He wouldn't be needing that;
'Cuz up in Heaven, I believe
God sees to all of that
And so I sold his guitar pick
I know he won't be back.

The garage is now all tidy
And so I cleaned the floor
I looked all around the place
And then I looked some more;
I turned all the lights off
I said: "So long, my luv"
And asked him to wait for me
From somewhere's up above.

It began to rain & storm
As I drove off in his truck
Army coat and around my neck
His dogtags for good luck;
The radio played 'Yard Sale"
And I just smiled and drove
I'd drive 'til I was out of gas
Then I turned my head and wove.

No plans......

JUST ACROSS THE CAUSEWAY

JUST ACROSS THE CAUSEWAY

He rocks outside in the morning
And feeds the hummingbirds
He waters all the flowers
Thinks of brand new words
To describe his life now
Because with each passing day
He wishes he was with her
Just across the Causeway.

Just across the Causeway
In another, seaside place
He can still smell her perfume
And see her smiling face
'Twas there he left her in the Fall
To fight her way thru fog
To live and die all alone
With just her little dog.

Life goes on and he's older now
Almost aged ninety-two
He sits and listens to the wind
And sometimes plays the blues
Or he'll hum her favourite tune
"Ol Rivers" she would say
He misses playing it for her
Just across the Causeway.

"Down at the end, Mom wrote:
"Son, ya' knowed, Ol' Rivers died"......

Somehow, somewhere, someday
Just across the Causeway.

THE LONE SEAGULL

THE LONE SEAGULL

I watched a group of seagulls in the fog and dusk tonight and thought about their lifestyle. At first, I counted 10 birds of different colors and sizes, all perched percariously on huge rocks out in the misty sea.

Each had its own rock next to one another but the biggest seagull of all was on rock number one. The rest all sat rigidly behind him or her.

I sat with my dog on a bench, looking at them through the thick fog. Off in the distance, I heard the honking of cars from a newly wedded couple in town. Nearby, a bat could be heard as it slammed a baseball and another run was scored by one of the two teams playing tonight.

Suddenly, without warning, seagull number 10 decided to spread its wings and fly straight through the fog, headed out to sea. I watched it until it was completely gone from my view. I wondered why and where it went; it never returned in the next 15 minutes we stayed seated.

Meanwhile, the remaining nine seagulls stayed put, staring straight ahead, waiting; for what, I do not know. Maybe they sleep sitting still; maybe they were waiting to catch some fish; maybe they were waiting for the lone seagull to fly back to them.

I compared myself to the departing seagull and realized that without risk, nothing ever changes. Without taking chances, everything just stays the same.

That seagull left for parts unknown; he had an adventure while the complacent and silent ones stayed behind to avoid the smell of failure or defeat.

I want to be like the lone seagull and be creative, risky, challenged and energized. There are followers and there are leaders; that lone seagull reminded me to be unafraid.

He unclipped my own wings..........the world is an adventure to be found, to be tasted and tested; to be true to oneself.

Thank you, Mr. Seagull!

JUST WALKING IN THE RAIN

JUST WALKING IN THE RAIN

The cars whiz by in a flash and the raindrops hit the skin. Listening to the sound of the foghorn and the sound of silence, can be deafening.

The sun has set and the day is almost over. Ducks swim in the sea and the warmth of todays sun still settles over the Island.

The world has moved and the hours have passed and life goes on. Time stands still for no-one. Each day is an addition but yet a subtraction from the whole sum of our time here on earth.

One senses their own immortality and feels a lump in their throat for what cannot be; what cannot happen and what cannot be shared. Ones tears are tears of discontent, of apprehension and overwhelming sadness.

Love denies; love haunts; love hurts. Just walking in the rain........

"FORGET ME NOT"

"FORGET ME NOT"


Winters breath's upon us
Jack Frost knocks at my door
And Santa Claus is coming
To visit us once more;
The leaves have all fallen
Presents have been bought
All I ask for Christmas
Is "Forget Me Not."

The Angel smiles down at me
As if to say "he won't"
And when I kneel to say my prayers
I will pray he don't;
The sleet and ice rock me to sleep
12 o'clock on the dot
And all I want for Christmas
Is "Forget Me Not."

When he unwraps his presents
And sips his cup of cheer
Will he think about me?
Will he shed a tear?;
Jesus has His birthday
I didn't ask for a lot
Just a homemade Christmas card
To say "Forget Me Not."

HE KEPT ALL HIS TOYS BUT ME

HE KEPT ALL HIS TOYS BUT ME

Santa Claus brought the power saw
But he bought himself the rest
A John Deere tractor
Top of the line, the best;
He bought a new rider
To cut the grass, you see
But saved the old push kind
He kept all his toys but me.

He bought the latest tools they make
And built a new garage
Just to put them in
Alongside all his cars;
One day a van delivered
A dog house with a key
Yeah, he even bought a dog
He kept all his toys but me.

And when they began to rust
He just bought some more
Bigger and better ones
From a ritzy, hardware store;
And when the dog was older
And sometimes got a flea
He made it all better
He kept all his toys but me.

Now he's old and all alone
The dog has passed away
He cannot use the tools
Because every other day.....
He is on dialysis
And can no longer see
I wonder if he regrets
He kept all his toys but me?

LUCKY

LUCKY

The night was young and he was just an old singer in a country music band. They had warmed up and he was replacing a string on his guitar when he looked across the bar. He couldn't believe his eyes!

It took him back to yesterday when they first met in a bar in Clancy. He was going to school to learn how to be a chef and found a gig with a local band which helped pay the rent. The bar was called "Get Lucky Saloon" and they used to laugh about meeting there. They got lucky, all right!

She told him her name was Maureen but friends just called her Mauri. They danced to a juke-box while the old black man swept up the floor of all the litter and wasted paper napkins with phone numbers on them. She smelled like fresh ivory soap and looked like she was scared to death of a musician.

But he was the one scared shitless! She had class and he wasn't used to much of that where he came from in Arizona. He bought her a beer but she never touched it; he lit his cigarette and offered her a smoke but she politely declined. And when they sat together at an all-night diner, she asked him to say grace with her before they ate their burgers and shakes.

And there were to be no good-night kisses for awhile; she held up her hand and he dutifully kissed the warm top of it. She'd smile and rush inside like a schoolgirl; which she was. Just 18 and inside her first bar; he felt like the luckiest guy in town.

Years later, she'd tell him how she used to lay awake for hours after seeing him, wondering what his mouth would feel like on hers; his tongue in her mouth; his hands around her waist. He was doing the exact same thing in his own rented room.

Now, the sight of her on a tall barstool, took his breath away. He stood behind a wall so she couldn't see him; he wanted to be sure it was Mauri.

Then he saw it; she still wore his watch! It was one-of-a-kind given to him by his mother many years before he even left home. Mauri had loved it and he wanted her to have something of himself. That was before he hurt her; before he broke her heart into; before he turned her into what he was looking at tonight; a scarlett woman.

His mind flashed back to 1982 when she had to study for her final exams. They had been living together just a year and she was in school to be a Legal Assistant. Life was good and he had secured a great job at a local four star restaurant and was playing guitar on the side, every chance he could. The money was good!

He was playing and singing one night, having a bit too much to drink during their break when he felt his hormones recharging while watching a girl shake her rear on the dance floor. Mauri would not be dropping in tonight as she was home studying. When the stranger wiggled her way onto his lap during their second break, he was flattered and embarressed at the same time. She was after one thing as her hand groped him on the floor. He held her tighter so folks wouldn't see his excitement. She just threw her blond head back and laughed; he loved her laugh!

His buddies told him later, how they'd tried to lie for him but Mauri was too smart to fall for it. When she dropped in after the dance had ended and found him missing from the poker game inside, she went looking for him. And she didn't have far to look.

The only cars left out back belonged to the band; his van was rocking when she came knocking. Only she didn't bother to knock, she walked right in and when she did, the van's interior lit up like a stick of dynomite! You could have heard a condom drop!

He was naked and so was the girl; he never did know her name. Mauri had a look in her eyes like a deer caught in a pair of bright headlights. The girl yelled "What the f...?" before he slammed his hand over her mouth. And just like that, Mauri was gone.

And she stayed gone. He tried his best to reach her at her friends, at her school, at her parents home. She disappeared with just her car and her purse; he had never heard from or of her again; not until tonight. He had moved far away but still had never gotton over the pain. He studied her tonight......

Twenty years older now, she probably would not recognize him anyway but just in case, he borrowed some dark shades and found an old cowboy hat. The band had to go on; it was well after 10 o'clock and the drunken crowd was ready to boogey. He could hardly play and he damned well wasn't going to sing.

Ironically, the band played "Together Again" and he felt the tears start to come; no, he musn't let himself. She was still so strikingly beautiful! But she had changed; not shy at all anymore, she asked men to dance before they even had a chance to invite her. She danced provocatively and enticingly, her body not afraid to strut its stuff. Her pink velvet jeans were much too tight; her satin V-necked top was too low- cut and her purple hued hair was too young for her to carry off.

It was a very long night but he got through it; he kept his distance from her side of the bar and yet his eyes never left her face. He saw a lonely, chilling, vacant stare in her eyes as she held her cigarette out to be lit. The many mixed drinks she drank were all paid for by guys hoping to take her home; or take her anywhere.

Then she made her move. Walking straight to the lead singer, she whispered something in his ear and he laughed. Introducing herself as "Lucky", she asked him to slow dance with her now that the band had finished for the night. Before he could intervene, the singer and her were on the dance floor but it was more like he was holding her up. Her slim, tanned arms were wrapped around his thick neck; they kissed. She wasn't shy anymore as her leg wrapped around one of his and his hands slid down her velvet backside.

He watched as they left together; her fur coat swallowing her body and her high heeled boots clicking on the bare wooden floor. He went to the bar and ordered a hot coffee; he'd quit drinking years ago when he was told it was either that or death. Alcoholism was destroying him but living without her respect and love was what was really killing him.

The singer was inside before an hour had passed and they stood together in the men's room at the urinal's. "Man; I was just about raped in the parking lot!" he laughed. "Some chick named Lucky who said she screwed musicians as that's all we are any good for. Bitch! Makes no sense at all; but it was fine by me! Mighty fine!!"

After he got in his cold car and was waiting for the motor to warm up, he cried. He cried for her and for him and for the stupid, sordid mistake that had cost him so much; almost his life. Nowadays, he spent almost all of his spare time in dusty ol' bar and dance halls, playing his guitar for nickles and dimes.

He needed to sleep or else he'd be going inside again to get a drink. But wait, there's something under the windshield wiper. A note:

"I guess we both had fun tonight; you got to see an old flame and I got "lucky"......thanks to you, I had a good teacher........was she worth it?"

The radio played Merle Haggard and Conway Twitty as he drove home to his empty room. Alone in his bed, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. He saw his ol' friend in the corner and got out of bed to strum on it. A guitar can't talk back or hurt him; it was just an old guitar but theirs was a mutual love affair, blessed with respect and admiration. He strummed it and sang aloud "hello darlin'......"

I STILL MISS YOU, BABY

I STILL MISS YOU, BABY


I've quit watching old, sad movies
I don't cry myself to sleep
It's been many months now
Since I even weep;
I tossed out all your photos
Threw your phone number away
But I still miss you, baby
Each and every single day.

I never wear that red plaid suit
That you liked so much
Or that satin negligee
That you loved to touch;
Nowadays I could care less
What songs you listen to
But I still miss you, baby
And I just wish you knew.

Someone else holds me now
And it feels just right
His kisses thrill me deeply
Almost every night;
I don't compare the two of you
I've forgot your middle name
But I still miss you, baby
I'm just tired of the game.

I saw you last December
Out shopping all alone
I just felt numb inside
You were on your phone;
I drove home in the snow
And asked God how come
I still miss you, baby?
Guess the hurting's just begun.

I hate you, baby......

I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE

I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE

You used to really look at me
With passion in your eyes
We used to spend long hours
Dressing in disguise;
I was once your "nurse"
And you were the "teacher"
I loved you as the "rock star"
And I played the "preacher".

Now the only game we play
Is poker with your pals
We don't go to bed together
I chat with the gals;
You stay up with the TV
I read a book in bed
And find you sleeping anywhere
You can lay your weary head.

I don't want to be your wife
I liked it best before
When we made love in the hammock
Or on the kitchen floor;
Our bodies may be older now
But I still feel the same
I want to be your girlfriend
One of your old flames.

Meet me at Joe's Bar & Grill
After nine o'clock tonight
I'll be in my fur coat
Dressed underneath in white;
If you don't want me then
In your ol' settled life
We'll just go our separate ways
I don't want to be your wife.

THE STRANGER

THE STRANGER

The congregation was sparse on this particular Sunday morning. As the rain beat hard against the stained glass windows, the heat automatically came on inside. The many lights high overhead began to flicker and go off and on.

The choir had just finished singing an anthem when the Minister announced a change in the program. He said he had invited a person with whom he had spoken with at length to address our service. We all wondered who it could be!

After the offering was received and blessed, we settled inside the warm sanctuary to listen to the invited guest.

He schuffled to the pulpit as we all stared in awe at his threadbare jacket and blue jeans. His hair was short and white and he had a blue bandana tied around his neck. His faded jacket once had been trimmed with fringe and gave him the look of an old cowpoke.

He didn't need a microphone. His voice was loud and strong and could be heard miles away. The first words out of his mouth were "Jesus loves me."

We all sat and watched as he stood to speak. This is what he said:

"I reckon you're all wondering
What brought me in here
You can't tell that I'm poor
And just drank my last beer;
Folks like you hate folks like me
I know cuz I've been both
Right now I need a cigarette
To hang out of my mouth."

Well, we didn't know what to say
Or if we should even grin
But he wore a wide smile
It looked so good on him;
"I ain't much of a singer
But sinning suits me fine
Jesus loves me, this I know
This coat ain't even mine."

"I 'borrowed' it from Frenchies
'Today 'twas cold in there
I spent my last few dollars
To pay a girl to cut my hair;
If I eat that's good and if I don't
I know I'll be all right
'Cuz I know He'll find for me
A bite to eat tonight."

The congregation sat in silence
And did not move at all
The Minister sat with his wife
Longed face, against the wall;
The guest smiled at the crowd
As his voice began to sing
Never, ever have we heard
A voice like that again!

He sang "Jesus loves me"
Sweet and strong and true
There wasn't any organ
Every verse he knew;
He sang for his supper
As God would want us to
Help this stranger passing by
Like He would me and you.

We all went for refreshments
To the kitchen downstairs
He refused to take the offering plate
But ate some pineapple squares;
The snow was softly falling
As he hitch-hiked out of town
And proudly hugged his only son
Who wears our Minister's gown.

After he had left, no-one spoke for a bit and then our Minister told us how his father had suddenly looked him up after a decade of no contact with any of their family. He couldn't convince him to stay.

We were headed home in our warm car when we saw the old man, thumb stuck out for a ride to somewhere in the opposite direction. I'm not sure but I thought he looked very content with his lot in life; only God and him would know.

WINGS

WINGS

I had just tuned up my old guitar
To play one Saturday night
We were at the Opry
And all the lights were bright;
We were going on stage soon
I almost missed my cue
When I heard a small voice ask
"Could I have a word with you?"

I looked down into her face
And saw a brown-eyed lass
She couldn't be more than 8 years old
Or maybe 10, I guess;
She wore a pair of overalls
And had her hair in braids
I never will forget that night
As she spoke to me and said:

"Do you know an older song
About some slippery things?
My mama used to sing to me
Before she got her wings";
I saw a broken-hearted girl
With teardrops on her face
I said 'Sure we do, sweetheart
Now you go take your place."

She sat down front on the floor
And as we took the stage
I told the other fellas
To turn to that song page;
I sang to her and only her
For her Mama who had died
"SHE'S WEARIN' SLIPPERS WITH WINGS"
And the little girl just cried.

I thought of my sweet Mama then
And could not wait to call
We took a break and I left
For the pay phone down the hall;
Her answering machine picked up
So my message I did sing
But when I looked for that little lass
There was just a pair of wings.

WEST

WEST

Tomorrow you're leaving, you're going out West
I just want to say that I wish you the best........

You always said that's what I was,
When we were man and wife,
"Your best and precious angel",
Before you changed your whole life.

When that airplane turns, to leave the runway
I'll recall the ticket you bought.... "one way"......

That white circle on your finger,
Where my ring used to be,
Tells the whole, sad story,
About us...you and me.

The West may offer you great wealth untold
But the east warmed you when you were cold .......

As you fly away tomorrow,
And leave 'us' far behind,
You'll forget me by sundown,
As a new love you will find.

Tomorrow you're leaving, you're going out West
In your new blue jeans and black, suede vest....

I'll use your pillow tonight,
To catch & hold my tears,
As you throw the love aside,
I gave to you through two years.

When those four strong winds start blowin'
And you don't know if you're comin' or goin'.....

And when you go shopping,
As it near's Christmas Day,
Don't get drunk like last year,
Forgetting His birthday.

Tomorrow you're leaving, you're going out West
To hell with us and all of the rest.....

As I wave to your airplane,
I'm wearing a tent-dress,
To hide our baby.....
Good-bye and God bless.

THE GOLDEN KEY

THE GOLDEN KEY

They walk the solid Boardwalk
Almost every single day
Her dog stops to sniff & smell
He pulls her the whole way;
Sometimes they stop at the Playground
To have a little swing
Sometimes they stop to feed the ducks
Or hear the seagulls sing.

They call her "Boardwalk Angel"
And watch her by the sea
As they wonder what's inside
Her little golden key;
Does it unlock her house doors
Or maybe fit her car?
Why does she just cling to it?
Did it drop from a falling star?

I asked her that question
One day while she sat
On a bench all by herself
Wearing a baseball hat;
She turned to me and smiled
As her eyes began to dart
Staring at the ocean blue:
"It is the key to my heart."

"I keep it with me all the time
So no-one will ever steal
My love and my honour
So I don't ever, ever feel:
Dependent on another man
To be acccused or abused
In the years that I have left
I never again will feel used."

She walked away with her key
And the tide was coming in
I often wondered where she went
'Cuz I never say her again;
Some say she moved away
We don't know any more
But one day at full tide
The key was washed ashore.

Perhaps she met and fell in love
With someone she could trust
Perhaps she sacrificed herself
And has just turned to dust;
I like to think she's happy
With Prince Charming by her side
And she threw away the key
'Cuz he'll stay with her 'til she dies.

"DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME"

"DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME"

The darkness surrounds her room
As she writes her final note
And makes her bed for the last time
Covers her pyjamas with a coat;
Her friends are at a party
It's already ten past three
All they'll see on the note
Is: "Don't wait up for me."

The moon is bright tonight
The CD plays quite loud
She drives on past the party
Past the drinking crowd;
Conway Twitty's singing
Her favourite: "Hello darlin'"
She stops her trembling as
The snow starts softly fallin'.

She leaves the keys in the car
With another, longer note:
"It's not your fault, Mom & Dad"
Then she climbs into a boat;
The anchor's fastened to her foot
She closes her eyes to see:
Her friends faces as they read
"Don't wait up for me."

They wouldn't even notice much
The tearstains on the page
Or her bird, missing now
From his small, cramped cage;
She releases him to Heaven
From his tiny prison cell
And wonders where she's headed
Probably straight to Hell.

The water looks so peaceful
She hears a lonely sound
It must be her own sobs
There's nothing else around;
He won't even miss her
But it's only him she sees
"Hello darlin', nice to see you"
"Don't wait up for me."

QUEEN

If I were the Queen of England, things would be significantly different than the way they are now. I would not be afraid to exert my power to govern my people.

As "Queen Heather" I would first and foremost ban the sale of cigarettes in my Country. Should any of the people be caught smoking, the penalty would be loss of their free healthcare for a period of 1 year. Caught again and they would lose their healthcare forever.

Secondly, I would ban the use of cellphones except in extreme emergencies and ONLY in a stationary vehicle. They would not be permitted in any public venue and if caught doing so, a $500 pound (fine) would be required.

I also would not permit a marriage license until one has known and dated their partner for at least a 2 year period. Witnesses to that effect would swear to the duration of their courtship.

I would create a Marriage Decree good for a period of 5 years, renewable at it's expiration, in additional 3 year increment(s). Should one or both decide to end their marriage, it would automatically be dissolved without a divorce being necessary or required legally. Children would remain in the home with whichever parent chose to reside there. Otherwise, joint custody is awarded with the child spending equal time with either parent.

Any useage or sale of illegal drugs in England would justify immediate and permanent deportation if done so by an outsider. If a Brit, a prison term of 1 year for the 1st offense and 10 years for each recurrance.

Abortions would only be legal if a victim of rape, incest or proof the child is going to be mentally or physically incapacitated and has no chance of a life without the use of life support.

As Queen I would not allow children under the age of 8, to any movie theatre after dark. Also, they would be barred from fine dining restaurants after 6 o'clock.

A dress code for all schools would be introduced and adhered to in that a Uniform would be the only requirement. Bookbags would remain at school until Friday and returned on Mondays, allowing for stronger backs and better posture. Every child would be furnished with a school computer at home in which their study material and homework would be electronically submitted.

Banking hours (with a live Teller) would be for the public's convenience and open by 7 am with a closing time of 7 pm including Saturdays; no exceptions.

Seniors would have free delivery, twice weekly, from all major grocery chains AND Pharmacies, with a phone-in or emailed request list. Reduced taxi fares for Seniors would be subsidized at 50% by the Government.

All dental care would be paid for by a special mandatory tax and such care would be free from age birth to death.

Pet care would be at greatly reduced rates for preventative needs and "Pet Parks" would be plentiful and spacious, allowing for dogs and their owners 24/7.

Speed limits would be optional once outside the city limits.

Gambling would be legal in certain limited licensed venues to people aged 30 plus.

Two years military service is mandatory for both sexes after High School if not attending a University full time. The exception would ONLY be if it is a mental or health concern.

Once a prisoner has done his/her requested time, they are not obligated to divulge their past record to anyone if they continue to adhere to their Parole requirements (exception: child sex offenders).

If I were the Queen of England, Music, Physical Education, Sex Education, Home Economics, Industrial Arts, a Foreign Language and Manners101 would all be compulsary from Grade 3 to Grade 11.

As Queen Heather, I would allow one Election every 5 years for all local and National Elections. There would ONLY be 2 months of free politicing prior to the Election date.

Queen Heather would be legally retired before the age of 70, allowing for her heir to reign.

Queen Heather would be paid based on the costs of her Castle residence, Security, Staff and miscellaneous requirements plus a salary to be determined by her public PLUS one million U.S. dollars for each year of her life.

God Save the Queen.

"IMAGINE"

"Imagine"


The mail brought the usual bills today. The radio told of minor car accidents, a falling Stock Market and talked about who was performing the worst on American Idol last night.

The phone rang and it was a telemarketer wanting my input on global issues. My bank statement had more checks than deposits. My emails were all funny jokes or blue humour, a light hearted approach to serious subjects like the next Election, the Pope and of course, the usual "dumb" Newfoundland joke.

My dog needed walking but I chose to selfishly spend 15 minutes on my exercise bike so I could watch Regis & Kelly. My attic needed cleaning up so as it is above freezing outside today, I went up there and worked a bit until I got too cold and missed the warmth of my living room.

I couldn't decide on what to eat so I fried some bologna and eggs; fixed a hot chocolate to drink. I read the newspaper on line and wrote a bit more on a story I've begun. I sang along to the old Country tunes from Eastlink TV's daily program, songs I love by Connie Francis, Neal Sedaka and Roy Orberson.

I sewed a button on my jacket; fixed a salad for lunch; plucked my eyebrows; brushed my teeth; ironed three outfits; answered another phone call; did a crossword puzzle; bathed my dog; vacuumned my area rugs; made my bed. All of the things I do daily or weekly and never think twice about: needing/having/using my own eyes and ears.

Imagine a world where there is no day light; simply darkness, pitch blackness. Close your eyes tightly and hold them there for the count of 10.

Now imagine a world where there is not one sound, not the noise of people talking, traffic moving, television blaring, popcorn popping, music playing and not even hearing the sound of your own screaming. With your eyes still tightly shut, cover both ears and press tightly with your hands.

Now imagine knowing a person like that; a human being who is disabled FOREVER in his or her own private Hell. Worse, imagine that person being a small child of age two or three. Would you want to be their parent?

Now imagine that you are; not the parent to just one blind/deaf little girl; not the mommy or daddy of just one child but two; twins. Now, imagine being the mother of THREE of them, triplets. All blind, living in not color as we do; not even in black and white; but all black. All deaf, 100%. Their world hears no Barney songs, no soothing bedtime stories, no silly rhymes and cartoons. Their head is silent; their eyes & ears are parts of their head. But they are of no use to them whatsoever.

I "saw" and "heard" this true but horrific story on the Dr. Phil Show today and it touched my heart. Imagine having triplets; now imagine being told that one is deaf; now imagine being told one is blind; then, finally, being told that all three of your triplet newborn babies are deaf AND blind, with NO chance of ever hearing or seeing.

The mother is young, gorgeous enough to be a famous model, a dedicated and loving mommy who is totally overwhelmed but never willing to even think about placing them somewhere other than "home" with her. (her second husband helps but is close to running)

As I cook supper and plan my evening around a long, hot bath, a good book and yes, American Idol, I feel as if God is trying to tell me something. My back aches tonight from exercising and vacuuming and my hands are cold from keeping the heat on 59F to save money and my bank balance is dangerously low. But imagine trading places with that woman in the USA? No way!

God has a way of selecting the right parents for His special needs children and I thank Him for that. There but for the Grace of God, go I.

WHY CAN'T SHE BE "ME"?

Why Can't She Be "Me"?"

Twice a year she drives past
His little white house in town
Once when the sun is hot & bright
And once when snow's falling down;
She sees two cars in their drive
And a playground-set out back
His clothes on their clothesline
Blue jeans, boxers, that shirt in black.

Once she saw him walking
By himself, just before dark
He looked so sad and lonely;
She sighed aloud "Oh, Mark!"
She wished she was beside him
To hold his hand and smile
To take him home to bed
Love him to pieces for awhile.

Living their "settled" lives
Breathing the same air
Brushing their own teeth
Combing their own hair;
The grass could use cutting
Snow is often piled high
She glances at their window
Before she says "good-bye."

She prays God watches over him
As he goes about his life
With his few, dear grandkids
And his dark haired wife;
She prays she'll find the strength
To detour round his road
'To make her heart start healing
And lessen her heavy load.

Back inside her warm house
The quiet and the calm
Welcome her back home again
Like a soothing, gentle balm;
She looks at the empty bed
And thinks of she and he
And asks God as she kneels:
"Why can't she be me?"

MOONLIGHT AND MAGNOLIAS

MOONLIGHT & MAGNOLIAS



"No, I don't want any peach pies; just get some Krystals and fries for me; maybe a PC."

She watched as his bald head found his Sunday hat and as he drove away to buy their Saturday "lunch", she sat in the oversized outdoor rocker and welcomed the silence.

How she wished they had met earlier in their lives, before all the wasted years and trials. She had thought that she'd never marry and then he came along like a breath of fresh air. She left her job at the cotton mill in the small town she'd grown up in and moved with him to the big city.

Life was very good after that and it wasn't because she suddenly had some money. He took very good care of her and they laughed alot, had fun with one another and he was to be the only love of her life.

Often times, she'd sit on his big, wide lap and they'd snuggle close together with just the smell of magnolia's, the room lit only by moonbeams and the electricity in the air. How she loved her husband!

"Back already?" she smiled. They sat at their kitchen table and salted their fries and ate their mini-hamburgers. She wondered to herself why the chocolate milk over crushed ice was called a "PC". It certainly was good!

Then he watched some football on TV while she busied herself in the kitchen, making one of his favourite desserts, a coconut cream pie. Thawing two expensive steaks out for supper, she stopped to watch him in the living room. He was sound asleep, snoring softly.

Once, they were driving out in the countryside and he suddenly stopped the big new Buick. She looked at him and he was smiling. "Why did we stop?" she asked.

"That's how quickly one's life can end" he said. "On a dime." He patted her knee and they drove on. She was used to his silliness and thought nothing of it at the time. He was always acting foolish and teasing. It was just one of his many endearing qualities.

Now, standing by her oven smelling the pie baking and watching him asleep, she knew to savor the moment and she did.

One day, he came in all excited to announce he'd joined the Reserves. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well", he said "it means I want to defend my Country again." And it was done.

It wasn't long before he had the chance to do just that. When he told her he would be gone for up to one year, her heart was broken. He held her tightly and she cried on his shoulder. But secretly, she was very proud of him in his handsome uniform.

Many long love letters and a few quick phone calls later, she received a call from his Superiors stating he'd been injured. "How?" she asked. "How badly?"

"It happened last month and he is being sent home soon. He wants to tell you himself. Please don't worry."

She heard the taxi pull up before she saw it and she ran to the door. But he didn't come in. She went outside, so excited she couldn't stand it anymore. He was paying the cab driver and laughing.

Then, she saw his injury and covered her mouth with her hand. She felt like screaming but didn't; she did burst into tears and he suddenly turned to see her. She ran into his waiting arms while the taxi driver slowly pulled away, watching their embrace from his mirrors. "Friggin' war!!" he thought.

She clung tightly to his starched and pressed tan uniform; he looked pale but so handsome. With his crutches and her assistance, they walked slowly and carefully inside their home. All he could smell was magnolia's, sweet magnolia's.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd lost a leg?" she cried. "I couldn't; I didn't want you to worry, baby. I just wanted to hurry home to your arms."

They held one another and cried; it was the first time he'd done so
and it felt good to save his tears for only her to hear and feel. He could live without his leg but he couldn't live without her love.

Long into the night, they talked. She wanted to know all about how it was overseas but all he told her was how he stepped on a land mine and afterwards, all memories of the war were erased. And he was glad. He'd seen too much, too soon to ever want to recall any of it.

Many years passed quickly and they lived and loved every day of them. He was very popular wherever they went; kids loved him. He cared not what color or how poor a person was; he was generous and giving with his wealth.

She snipped off some fresh flowers and put them in a vase to take to him while he was convalescing in the hospital. She was optimistic that he'd be home soon but wanted his room to smell like his favourite flower, the magnolia.

The phone rang and it was the hospital; they were asking her to hurry, please. Frightened, she did as asked and ran from the taxi after throwing some money at the driver. The elevator seemed to take forever! Damn!!

The Nurse greeted her with a look of urgency and informed her that her husband's infection had suddenly spread from his absent limb's stump to his heart and brain. It didn't look good and at his age, they anticipated the worst.

He was very pale and lifeless while connected to so many machines and equipment but she whispered "I'm here now; it's ok. I love you."

She saw no reaction so whispered again into his other ear and this time she felt a slight squeeze of his hand on hers. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't. The Nurse left them alone with instructions to buzz immediately if any sudden changes should occur.

The afternoon turned into evening as his temperature rose to well over 104. She never left his side except to place his flowers closer to his bedside table. As the full moon shone into his room and on her husband's face, she prayed. "Please, God, don't let him suffer as you did. I trust that only you can save him now."

So it was, just after midnight, he silently and forever went to sleep. As his hand slipped from hers and he left the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God, she said her goodbyes to her soulmate, her only husband and her very best friend.

Carrying his crutches with her, she climbed inside the taxi and headed for home. He'd want her to be with people, their family, but she wasn't ready to tell them yet. She knew she was being selfish but at her age, she didn't care.

Once home, she locked the door and fixed herself a cup of hot tea. She carried it into their bedroom and carefully sat it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. Then she removed her blouse and put on his T-shirt and crawled into bed, laying on his side, using his pillow. And she went to sleep, crying, holding a tissue.

They found her there the next day; the Doctor said she had suffered a heart attack, not unusual for a lady of 86 years. But her family and friends and neighbors all agreed that she had died of a broken heart.

They were cremated together and their ashes combined to be scattered over the countryside where they used to go parking. Her bedside note inside her Bible instructed this last wish; but how did she know she would die?

As the beams of the moon lit the way, their ashes were swiftly blown into the wind off of the cliff where their family released them. A buck and his doe watched and waited, unseen to the family as they cried and departed. And all that was left was the scent of magnolia's.

"NANA DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE"

"Nana Doesn't Live Here Anymore"


He laid his newly painted bicycle beside the fence and on his way inside the house, he stopped to pick a few bright yellow daffodils. Maybe they'd help to cheer his grandmother up. She hadn't been herself for the last year or so and he knew his parents worried about her living here alone in the big old house she once shared with his grandpa.

"Nana" he said softly, as he entered the warm kitchen. He couldn't wait to show her his bike! It was old but he loved it; just like her. He smelled the wonderful aroma of her brown bread baking in the old wood stove. Her slippers were underneath the table and hair rollers were all over the floor.

"Nana?" he said loudly. "You in here?"

She suddenly appeared from the living room, newspaper in hand and teeth out. Her hair still formed the shape of the curlers she must have slept in the night before. A floured apron covered her tan housedress and her feet were bare. There was flour all over everything!

"Nana?"

"Nana doesn't live here anymore!"

""What?" he asked in disbelief. "Are you ok, Nana?"

"I said, "Nana" doesn't live here anymore. Who are YOU and what are you doing in my house? Scoot out and don't come back. Can't you see I'm very busy?"

Frightened, the lad dropped the fresh flowers and hurried outside to jump on his bright blue bicycle; he had spent all day yesterday painting it and was so proud of the job. The first person he wanted to share it with was his grandmother. What could be wrong with her?

He rode home as fast as he could and rushed through the front door to tell his mother. She was busy with the baby and he waited patiently; she said she'd be just a few minutes.

He decided to call his Nana to see if she was all right. The phone rang and rang and rang but there was no answer. Nana never wanted an answering machine but they gave her one anyways after Papa died and set it all up for her. "Hello. You have reached 639-0967; please leave a message after the tone." But she kept it turned off and refused to use it.

"So, what's the rush?" his mother asked, holding his baby sister in her arms. "What's the matter, son? You're all flushed......"

He began to cry as he rapidly told her what his Nana had said to him & her general disarray. She never seemed shocked or very surprised; just looked very sad. She took him in her arms.....

"Sit down, Seth. I should have warned you boys that this could happen."

As his mother explained "Alzheimer's disease" to her nine year old son, she too began to cry. Since learning of her mother's illness, she had not yet come to grips with how to explain it to her children. They were all very close to her but Seth was by far, her mother's favourite. They had bonded while she babysat him the first four years of his life.

"Mom, don't cry. Maybe Nana was just teasing me; you know how she likes to play "pretend" sometimes. She still treats me like I was five."

He hugged his mother and baby sister and went outside to sit in his favourite tree. He thought about what he had just learned and felt sorry for himself. Did this mean no more stories with Nana; did this mean no more fishing trips with her; did this mean Nana might die?

That night, he told his best friend that he couldn't ride bikes tomorrow. He had something more important to do.

Seth emptied his piggy bank out on top of his bunk bed and counted $6.94. Then he waited outside old man Thomas's store for him to open and bought his supplies. Riding home, he carefully held onto his purchases and hurried to his room.

After eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich for lunch, he rode off to his grandmother's house. He knew she would be at the dentist as his mother had taken her. Hurriedly, he found the house key and went inside. It didn't take long but he had to make two trips.

He rode home with a smile and waited.

When his grandmother went inside, waving to her daughter and the baby as they drove away, she felt happy to be back. It was hard to even know which house was hers anymore so she hesitated to call a taxi for fear of embarressment. She couldn't even recall her own house number or address.

What's this? She stood in her sun-filled kitchen and saw many fresh, bright daffodils, her favourite flower. They were everywhere! A large yellow poster board was propped up on top of the kitchen table, with giant black letters that said "NANA.....I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. YOUR FAVOURITE GRANDSON, SETH."

Best of all, he had glued his latest school picture underneath his name and also a baby picture of him and her in her old rocking chair. It had today's date and his phone number.

She reached for her phone and dialed the number. He must have been waiting as it was answered on the first ring. "Seth?" she asked.

"Yes; Nana?"

"Wanna go fishing out back by the lake after supper? I have been wanting to see you."

"Sure, Nan; I'll be over then. I'll dig some worms for our hooks. See ya". And he smiled widely!

When he arrived, his grandmother was carrying her tackle box down to the lake and saw him pull up on his bike. "See, Nana, I painted it blue; remember when it was red and all the old paint was flaking off?"

"Yeah" she replied but she didn't really. But that was ok with Seth; as long as she remembered him!

That night, as he rode home on his bike with the fish in a pail in his parcel carrier, he wondered if she'd ever forget him again. He hoped not. "Please, God, help Nan to remember me." Just then, the chain broke on his prized possession and he added "Oh, and if she wants to buy me a new bike for my birthday next month, that would be ok too."

And he slept like a baby while his Nan slept with a room full of daffodils. She wondered where they came from and guessed she must have picked them herself. Oh well, they made her very happy.