BABY, IT'S COLD INSIDE!

"BABY, IT'S COLD INSIDE!"

The chiming of the old clock that I'd purchased last summer from Max's sister's yard sale, awakens me. Now that the power's off, my bedroom fan has stopped, allowing noises to disturb my beauty sleep. The clock chimes eleven times but that doesn't mean anything; it was always a few hours wrong. I figure it has to be closer to dawn and it is.

Pulling on all of the clothes I had carefully set aside for just this momentious occasion, I get dressed in the dark. I can feel Camo's eyes peeking out of his soft blanket from the foot of my bed, asking himself "Now, where is she going in the dark?"

A candle is lit and shows me the way downstairs. I thought about the oil lamp but remembered my grandmother, whom I'd never met, had died by falling downstairs. She was attempting to reach the oil lamp to light her way, a practise she had done all of her married life. I see the temperature in my house has dropped to 48F, a bit uncomfortable.

I hear the snowplough going by and imagine it has banked further snow in front of my already snowed-in car. I probably should listen to the news so I approach my sterio until I remember there's no electricity. I walk carefully upstairs to get the transister radio from beside my bed but the batteries are dead.

Suddenly, I feel very chilled and check the thermometer again to discover it's now 46F degrees. I go back upstairs with my dripping candle to add some more clothing to my shaking body. Oh good, there's my flashlight but when I go to turn it on, the batteries in it are dead as well! Damn! Back downstairs, I go to find my battery recharger but then recall it is electric and will serve no purpose.

A cup of coffee would be great right now but first I'll wash up. Oops, no hot water! I should have a thermos full of nice hot water for my coffee but I forgot to do that last night. At least I have a tub full of water to use to flush the commode; I may be a woman but I'm not blond!

Now what? I am starting to be irritated; the novelty has worn off already and I am cold and want my decaf. 42F now, I KNEW it! I count the articles of clothing I have on......panties, bra, black tights, tan corduroy pants, wool socks, sneakers, a white T shirt, a long sleeved navy blue (Boston Red Sox) pullover, a huge, wool sweater that used to be Brett's. Nine items and I'm thinking "Baby, it's cold inside!" I add a black & red wool cap with ear-muffs that was my dad's and now feel very fashion co-ordinated. I look in the mirror but it's still too dark to see.

Camo makes his presence known by rubbing up against me and scares me. I laugh and try to locate his collar so he can go outside. It takes awhile but we finally locate it on the washing machine in the porch. Out he goes; it's warmer outside so he stays a bit longer than usual, all of a minute or two. Wimpy American dog! lol

Ok, now, I can do this! I look for some batteries that are not rechargeables but there are none. I start a list......batteries, candles, newspaper, peanut butter, bread......so much for my NO-CARBS diet! (note to self......buy Coffee Crisp candy bar). I do not add it to my list though as it makes me feel guilty to see it in print.

Camo sits down and I wipe the snow off him and he shivers but has on his warm winter coat; still, he is spoiled so he sits in my recliner while I find his warm blanket & cover him up snugly. He hunkers down, looks at me as if to say "Now what?"

I wish I could watch CNN or listen to the local radio station to hear what's happening. I assume we have no power because of the weather but decide to check outside to see if I am the only one without it. But the whole town is black; here comes the snowplough again. My house is silent and dark. I open the fridge door to a dark interior and see nothing. The candle light shows me some left-over turkey and I eat it with my cold fingers and share some with Camo.

Now I add black gloves to my ensemble as my hands are numb. Upstairs again, I add more blankets to my bed. I see my electric make-up mirror and sigh. Damn Nova Scotia Power! I wish I could iron or do some laundry. I walk downstairs again with my candle and touch the silent computer with my glove. How I took it for granted! What I'd give to be sitting there in my warm living room, reading emails, downloading pictures and listening to my BeeGees music.

I start to open up all the window blinds but decide I had better wait a bit. It's now 38F degrees in here and I can almost see my breath. I think about my freezer melting but then realize it never will in this house. I wished I had a gas stove or a fireplace. I can't cook anything or heat any water. I'd drive to Tim Horten's but I can't get my car out of the driveway. Besides, they're probably without power as well.

Now it's 33F and I am shivering! I put on my warm furry pile coat and change from sneakers to my fur boots. I pace and whine and think about swearing. My hands are freezing so I switch from gloves to white mittens that I know are hand-made by a woman in Barrington. I bought them at a church bazaar last fall.

Daylight allows a glimpse of the outdoors and it is breathtakingly beautiful. The fresh white snow is untouched by children or nature and the icy water lays in tranquil silence. There is no movement save a few windy wisps of blowing snow. I think of "Silent Night, Holy Night" and hum a few bars but my lips are too numb to form the words.

Oh, how I'd love that cup of coffee with some warm buttered cinnamon toast, maybe a soft boiled egg and some crisp cottage roll.....I start hallucinating and begin to salivate. My God, it's only been a matter of hours since I last ate; how can I be ravenous? I don't even EAT breakfast most days! Still, I envision hot home-made oatmeal with real butter, cream and brown sugar.......

I pick up the cordless phone to call my brother, thinking he may be coming this way and can bring me a coffee from somewhere. But, of course, even the phone is dead. I feel on the verge of tears now. It's so cold I consider going out to my car to wait it out but am afraid I may die from the fumes. The rear of my car is covered with hardened snow. I try to write but my hands won't form letters as my fingers won't co-operate.

The temperature dips to 26F degrees! So I go back to bed to try to get some warmth in my body; I am seriously afraid of freezing to death! I only remove my boots at first and then, once I am able to, the coat and cap. Only my eyes are visable in my soft cold bed, curled up in a fetal position. Camo decides to join me and I welcome his body heat as he plops down on the outside of the quilts, close to my back. I cover him with his blanket. We lay quietly, listening to the snowplough and the chiming of the clock.

We must have fallen asleep in our frozen house because the next thing we know the lights are on, the furnace is heating up, the world's awake! We are still alive! Yeah!!! I immediately jump out of bed to turn on my radio and look outside. The street lights are all back on, the Post Office is lit up, cars are passing by, albeit very slowly. I LOVE Nova Scotia Power!!

An hour and two coffee's later, I sit to inhale the magic of electricity and feel so grateful to Thomas Edison. The scenery outside is so invigorating that I capture it all on film from my windows. Camo decides to stay out an extra minute as well and we rush inside to fix our oatmeal and buttered toast. To Hell with Dr. Atkins!

The phone rings just as I begin to read nine new emails from friends all over the world; oh, the wonder of it all. As I plug in my electric rollers, battery recharger and sit at my electric make-up mirror while sipping my hot coffee, I feel blessed and at peace. But wait! the power blinks, not once but twice....oh no! Not again! I hurry to prepare for such an occurence and turn my electric blanket on High.......just in case. I lay my book beside my pillow, just in case. I dig out my old phone that requires no power to operate, just in case. I am so happy and warm and fed and then.......the power goes off.....again!

Camo watches me running around and must be thinking "People! What weird creatures!" And I can't decide if I love or hate Nova Scotia Power!! "Cuz baby, it's cold inside!"