SHAPELESS IN CLARK'S HARBOUR

SHAPELESS IN CLARK'S HARBOUR


He said "It's so easy, Hed"
As he started up the engine;
"Just pump this little button
To release a bit of tension."

The mower seemed to walk alone
He made it look so easy;
The green grass just fell in folds
The night air, sweet and breezy.

I couldn't wait for afternoon
To get started on my lawn;
Ran to Yarmouth early
Awoke at the crack of dawn.

Changed into capris and shirt
Sneakers on my feet;
I went into my basement:
There "IT" sat on concrete!!

I knew enough to bring it out
To warm it up a bit;
I pushed in the little button
And then I let it sit.

Excited now, I pulled the throttle
And heard it hum a tune;
Another hard pull with my hand
And we were on the moon!!

"Lift-Off;" we're in business
As Camo sat to watch;
I was so proud of myself
Grass to cut; and LOTS.

Back & forth; up and down
All around the bush;
But I thought self-propelled meant
I never had to PUSH??

Left or right, push or pull??
There's just too many rocks!!
And why are people staring?
Is it my polka-dotted socks?

Man, these hills are awesome
They never LOOKED that high!
And even Camo's leaving
And never said good-bye.

I cut the front and then FELL down
To rest my legs awhile;
Should I turn off the mower?
A man walks by and smiles.

As I arise to huff and puff
My way into the back,
It decides to die right there
I haven't got the knack.

I lay beside my mower
And tell it to behave;
And pray aloud to please start
But it wants back in it's cave.

I look at all my long, hot work
And see a zig-zagged lawn;
Embarassed; crawl inside my porch
Lay on the floor and yawn.

Camo licks my face as if
To say "It's ok; you'll see
All of this is new to us;
Now, please let me out to pee?"

I look into the mirror
At my green face and clothes;
The sea-breeze has awakened me
I no longer care to doze.

I strip down to what God gave me
As to the shower I run;
And know that mower and myself
Have only just begun!!

Another sunny lovely day
Greeted me at seven
I silently thanked Jesus
For this slice of Heaven.

Grass looked wet so I painted
But after lunch was through
I got up my courage
I knew what I had to do.

"It" sat patiently waiting
In the exact same spot
And as I pulled it outside
I envisioned it my "yacht".

I talked to it a minute
And then I pumped that thing
Pulled hard on the throttle
But it refused to sing.

A few more tries and I gave up
Came inside to rest
But the sea and sun and common sense
In me; got the best.

I checked the gas and it was fine
I put on my cotton gloves
I stood there in my rolled up pants
And almost fell in love:

'Cuz right away it started
And we were so in sync
Up & down, all around
I gave my "yacht" a wink!!

The yard now looks so pretty
And I mowed every little spot
People waved as they drove by
At me and my new yacht.

As I swept the steps and walk
I looked far out to sea
But none of the boats I saw
Could match my yacht and me.

From now on I'll treat her
With the respect she needs
Already I've forgiven her
For knuckles that now bleed.

And sneakers that are full of poop
And grass stains on my socks
Next time I will scoop poop first
And then I'll pick up rocks.

I have found a hobby
It's mowing my own grass
And if neighbors don't like zig-zags
Then they can kiss my ass.