DECEMBER

DECEMBER


Well, it's finally in December
You're still many miles away
It goes without saying
It's almost Christmas Day;
Children come with cookies
Carolers sing to me
And I light some candles
But I have no Christmas tree.

I hear pretty Christmas songs
That make me think of you
And when I go out walking
I use those old snow-shoes;
It seems you're there beside me
If only in my heart
And tear drops fall quickly
Like the day we had to part.

Sometimes I even smell you
And feel your breath on mine
I reach out to touch you
For only you I pine;
I look at your photograph
And long for you so much
Just to see your dark eyes
And to feel your touch.

So Santa if you're listening
Please bring him back to me
You know how much I love him
Oh, how I'd love to see---
The love in his brown eyes
As bright as the firelog
And I can't wait until the day
I get back my dog!!

BAH HUMBUG

BAH HUMBUG

So Christmas time is here again
Yet it seems like yesterday
We exchanged our presents
And put everything away;
Then the bills came due
And we worked extra hard
To do it all over again
Buying gifts and cards.

But what if we don't care
To spend what we ain't got
And what if we just disappear
And fly to someplace hot;
I think if I had money
A ticket I would buy
A "Bah Humbug" message
To warmer spots I'd fly.

With children living far away
And my dog down South
All I feel like doing here
Is stuffing my big mouth;
Carols make me lonelier
Snow just makes me mad
And I expect no presents
'Cuz Santa knows I'm bad.

So Christmas can pass me by
I really couldn't care less
I won't be decorating much
So then I'll have no mess;
But I might start drinking
And maybe sleep right through
Cause it ain't a good Christmas
If I ain't got you.

EH?

EH?

Some folks say we speak funny
Some say we walk weird too
It's been told we act silly
The things we say and do;
If we're outside skating
Or outdoors making hay
We're having lots of fun
Kickin' country, eh?

Sure we hoot & holler here
And sometimes even fight
And often when we're alone
We sleep all day & night;
It's the way we live here
How we choose to be
And if you're wondering
No, we don't have fleas.

A little kitchen party here
Is always lotsa fun
Someone brings their guitar
Someone brings some rum;
People playing cards and crib
'Til the light of day
Laughing and begging aloud
"Sing another one, eh?"

So what if we are boring
What if we are too loud
We're just having lotsa fun
With our little crowd;
Come on in and join us
Fresh lobsters night or day
Just bring your own moonshine
Homemade's the best, eh?

IF I WERE YOU

IF I WERE YOU

If I were you
I'd pick some lovely daffodils
When the Spring arrives;
And buy fresh haddock
A few home-made biscuits
Served with french fries.

If I were you
I'd sit with me in Church
In my favourite pew;
Holding the same hymn book
Hands touching hands
In everybody's view.

If I were you
I'd run a bubble bath
Serve orange-pineapple ice cream;
Rub my aching back
Fix my broken heart
Make me your Queen.

If I were you
I'd buy a nice horse
So I can ride with pride;
I'd show love and kisses
Each day and night
I'd make me your bride.

If I were you
I'd love me...............

THE MARITIMES

THE MARITIMES

I watch the first fall of snow
And dress in boots & gloves
I add another blanket on
The electric one I love;
I make a pot of chili
I roll a bunch of dimes
I bake a poor mans pie
Hard times.....in the maritimes.

They say the lobster's fading
They blame the DFO
Some moved out West to work
Why, I do not know;
There's fewer jobs everywhere
Prices go up & up
Soon, before we know it
No Tim Horten's in our cup.

Gas & oil's higher now
Can't afford to mow the grass
Toilet paper's too high priced
To even wipe our ass;
Milk and fruit, forget it
Can't even buy ice cream
Flour's gone through the roof
Enough to make us scream.

Hard times in the Maritimes
Now it's almost Christmas
Slim pickings here this year
So I'm just giving kisses;
Too cold to rub noses
Too broke to buy a gift
I may have to hitchhike
So stop & give a lift.

It's mighty cold in my bed
So I crank the blanket up
And lean back on my pillows
As hot chocolate I do sup;
The snow is softly falling
All's quiet and so bright
Hard times in the Maritimes
Beats anywhere else tonight.

THE SNOW ANGEL

THE SNOW ANGEL

Christmas was just weeks away
As she hurried home from work
Pulled into the driveway
Then took another look;
Someone had made a snowman
In front of her storm door
He had a hat on his head
It said two words "WE'RE POOR".

She decided to destroy it
And went about her life
A busy single woman
Ain't nobody's wife;
She had no time for people
Who lived on the street
No mittens on their bare hands
With no shoes on their feet.

When she went Christmas shopping
Or drove by in her car
She saw them outside smoking
Cigarettes and cigars;
She was pulling into her drive
And couldn't believe her sight
On the lawn, all laid out
Was a snow angel in white.

She started to grab her keys
When a shadow she did see
A voice said "Hello, M'am
Can I have a cup of tea?"
But when she turned around
There was nobody there
Just a snow angel's shape
With no head or hair.

She thought about the woman
When it was Christmas night
And grabbed her coat & mittens
To try to make things right;
They were huddled close together
Sharing a cup of hope
She knew that this small family
Was at the end of their rope.

She loaded them into her car
And first they went to eat
Then they went to her house
New shoes for their feet;
Bathtime for the children
Warm beds for everyone
Never in her whole life
Had she had so much fun!

New Years Day she dropped them
Inside a family shelter
Although still homeless
At least they had each other;
They are warm and happy
Some money for their future
And hope for tomorrow
Instead of cold & torture.

The snow is now almost gone
Outside it's not so white
I look out of my window
At all the stars at night;
I see my simple family
Who now have a better life
And I feel so grateful to her
Because I am that wife.

GONE

GONE


You left your jacket hanging
On a nail on the wall
And I found your old watch
On a table in the hall;
Then I saw your overalls
In a bag stored away
I thought how hard you worked
Every single day!!

I miss you most at Christmas
When we all sat down together
Now I eat all by myself
And stare out at the weather;
I miss you on my birthdays
I miss you at our church
And when I see your picture
That's when it truly hurts.

Sometimes I think I smell you
That woodsy, out-door smell
I close my eyes & often feel
As if I were in Hell;
I miss you in the evenings
As I sit in your old chair
Though you've been gone so long
I still can smell your hair.

I know you won't come back to me
I know that is a fact
Because the day that you left
I tried to not look back;
I just want to tell you now
That I feel so sad
And I'm still mad at Jesus
Because He took you, Dad.

EULOGY

These are the remarks I spoke at my brothers funeral service in June 2003; I had flown home to be with him while he was dying and stayed until after the funeral as I was still residing in the USA:


When Minnie asked me to read this at Rodney's service today, I immediately said I would try. I'm glad that he liked a previous piece I had written about him on his birthday and I'm honored to share it with all of you gathered here.

Every time I think of our oldest brother, Rodney, I have to smile. To me, he is every little sisters dream come true.

He is the perfect big brother; not only is he a protector and a gentleman, he is also a hunter, a fisherman, a bowler, a singer, a harmonica player, a guitarist, a comedian, a gardener, a card player, a camper, a dog lover, a husband, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, a cousin and a wonderful friend to both sexes.

Our parents worshipped him and he them; a better son could not be found than he was to them and to our wonderful grandparents. How proud Mum was when he competed at Beaver Dam. How thrilled Daddy was to have him back home again from Germany where he served in the United States Army. And how excited we all were to welcome his wife, Minnie, into the Mundell family.

Rodney taught us all so much; he has a great sense of humour that few men have; a quick wit that brings smiles to all around him. His humour is self-deprecating at times and he is a very good story and joke teller. His eyes twinkle with teasing laughter.

He has had more friends through-out the years than one can count. He strives to treat them equally with comraderie, kindness and with an outstretched hand to any one of them in trouble or need. He is just comforting to be around.

Rod sings about the good old days and of the sea, the fishermans plight and of his love for his country. But his 'signature song' about Gene Autry and the big screen on a Saturday afternoon, always brings a huge round of applause and a tear to the eye.

Never one to complain, Rod has always been self-supporting, energetic, athletic and knowledgeable of everything from kiacking to politics, current events to pollution control, sports to outer space, traveling to patiently teaching his grandsons how to build a snowman.

He's every little sisters idea of who she wants to marry when she grows up; who she idolizes above all others. He's this sisters 'HERO' and a man for all seasons. Thank God for brothers like him!


After receiving the above, Rodney wrote back to thank me. He said that while he was flattered, I was wrong. He wrote "I'm just ordinary, dear; just ordinary."

I'd like to add a brief personal memory I have of him from when I was 5 or 6 years old. He had just returned from CA where he worked after leaving the Army where he was a Corporal.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon and I was sitting outside on our back doorsteps with our dog, Sandy; long faced because my sister and brother had gone down to the Goudy theatre for the Saturday matinee, without me.

Rodney asked what was wrong and after I'd told him, he invited me to go in to Shelburne with him to the FAIR!

We rode in his blue packard and after riding the ferris wheel and the swings, we ate hotdogs and cotton candy. He bought me a little bracelet where they etched my name on top. He won me a kewpie doll on a stick! We laughed, held hands and had fun. I was so proud!

On the way home, he had all of the windows down and his radio on and I didn't dare tell him that I felt car-sick. When I finally threw up out the window of the fast moving car, the wind blew it all back inside, all over the rear seats.

He didn't get angry; he just stopped and cleaned me up as best he could. At home, he cleaned his car. I couldn't believe that he never told anyone what I'd done. He'd just wink at me when I bragged about our day at the Shelburne County Fair.

That was Rodney Mundell-----always thinking of someone's feelings; always wanting to put in a good word for others; always assuming the best in people; always accepting without judging; ALWAYS a gentleman.

Quite a guy, our big brother!
Ordinary?
I don't THINK so!!



In closing, I'd like to paraphrase from the song I mentioned earlier------about our Rodney-----

The man who wore many hats
Is a HERO to me
He was through the years now
And I know that he ALWAYS will be;
Time takes away many things
But it can't take our dreams
Love from Lorraine, Bob, Phyllis, Ardeth
Junior, myself and Jean.

SILENCE

SILENCE


The sound of silence awakened her as she laid alone, listening. She could hear soft snoring, she could hear the sound of the hot radiators coming on and the sounds of crying. Was it her own?

Time stood still as she watched the dark room turn into the dawn's early light. Soon it would be 5:30 am and the wake-up call. She stretched and allowed her mind to drift back to fourteen long years ago......

"Hurry up or I''ll miss my flight" she heard him say. He'd jumped out of the car as soon as she pulled up to the gate and without so much as a kiss, he was gone. She was used to it by now but still, it hurt to see all the other pilots hugging their wives and families. She wondered what he'd be like if they had any children? Probably no different; he didn't even like kids.......

She asked herself sometimes why they were even married as they led separate lives. But their faith didn't permit a divorce so they adjusted to a sexless/loveless life. Still, Jill had hope and was in couselling to save her marriage and she continued to pray. Maybe Will was just overworked, under alot of stress and was unhappy with himself.

She went about her work and hobbies and kept up with all the house and yard work while he was away. He had said he'd be gone 10 days but she couldn't remember why. Usually, he worked three days on and two days off. It was probably an overseas trip or some hours he was doing to fill in for a vacationing pilot. She decided to do some early Christmas shopping with Sally, in downtown Denver, an hours drive away.

When her best friend came down with the flu, she decided to go all by herself. She decided she'd spend the night since the next day, Saturday, was not a working day for her. She packed the small gun he had given her for safety inside her purse and checked into the Hilton in downtown Denver.

After eating dinner, she decided to wait until tomorrow to start shopping. She changed into her one-piece swimsuit and grabbed a towel and her bag and went down in the elevator to the luxurious spa. This was the same Hilton Will had brought her to when they were first dating. It hadn't changed much if at all; it boasted it had approximately 1,000 rooms!

The water was awesome and she laid back to let the jet streams from the jacuzzi soothe her aching bones. Few folks were in the Spa so she felt rich to have it all to herself. She began to doze and was half asleep when she awoke suddenly. Her back was to the side door where a couple was coming in, laughing, carring drinks in their hands. She turned when she thought she recognixed her husbands voice; it couldn't be!

They didn't see her in the water as the light was very dim where she lay submerged but she could plainly see then under the bright dome light overhead. She saw Will in the swim trunks she had bought him for his most recent trip. The woman beside him was dressed in a skimpy bikini and was laughing over something he'd just whispered in her ear. Jill's heart stopped! Wasn't he working? What was going on?

They walked away from her jacuzi to sit in a steam bath and she quietly watched them, her sobs beginning to form inside her broken heart. As he held out his arms for the blond woman to sit on his lap, Jill reacted without thinking. She had trouble seeing them now that the steam was covering the sliding glass doors. She grabbed her purse to leave when she felt the gun!

The last thing she heard before the gun went off was the sound of silence. Her ears had tuned out their screams. All she remembers is the blood bath left behind and the security holding her down. She put up no fight and the local police handcuffed her and threw her in one of their cars. Then all she heard were sirens.......

Now, she hears the sound of breakfasts being shoved under the doors and the sound of many keys jangling. She smells the rancid bacon and the warm apple juice that tastes more like urine. She watches as her bunk-mate eats hers while Jill gags from the sight. Another day in D block, Cell # 76.........

It's her birthday but no-one cares; no-one even knows. She hasn't looked in a mirror in ages and wonders if her parents will bother to call as they do twice a year. Christmas is the only other day they call her; she has brought them all such shame.

As the afternoon arrives and she sits on her steel bed, she prays once more for forgiveness for taking two lives. Her own life means nothing to her anymore and she never thinks of escape. She's doing 'life' and feels as if she is already dead.

Someone's radio is playing a song and she stops crying to listen. Music still affects her, still calms her, still makes her smile or cry. It's an old song "Love Hurts". At least, she can still feel........

Soon, dinner will be served in the main dining room; the one time a day when she leaves her cell. She will make herself eat and make herself stay in line. There's no birthday cake, no candles, no wishes for her 40th year on earth.

"Jill, you have a phone call." The guard escorts her to the phone booth but she changes her mind and asks to return to her cell.

"Tell them I died" she says. And she lays on her steel bunk and listens to more sounds of silence.

HELLO, DARLIN'

HELLO, DARLIN'


'Twas the night before Tuesday
In the month of December
The tree put away
'Midst the lightening & thunder;
Christmas was over
Another year ended
As I packed the last suitcase
With a jacket I'd mended.

The car is all packed
With my stuff for the city
I turn out the lights
And I'm filled with self-pity;
For what cannot be
And for what lies ahead
And I wish that my parents
Were alive and not dead.

I suddenly feel lonesome
With not even my dog
Here to wave bye to
As I drive in the fog;
The city awaits me
Who knows what's in store
And I turn on the radio
As I cry some more.

I wonder and worry if
He'll miss me for long
Or find him another
Who he'll string along;
City lights welcome me
As snowflakes do fall
And I reach for my phone
As his number I call.

"Hello, darlin".....

THAT CHILD IN ME

THAT CHILD IN ME

Oh, for yesterday
When I was just a kid
Walking on my hands
And standing on my head;
Skipped the fence barefoot
Was a show-off acrobat
Swinging from the rafters
Not an ounce of fat.

Oh, for yesterday
When I was young
And foolish and crazy
My voice still sung;
I played and I played
To my hearts content
And spent summer days
In a homemade tent.

Oh, for teenage years
When I felt a crush
But too shy to share
Didn't dare to rush;
Parking in cars
Dancing in the street
Teasing & pleasing
Feeling the heat.

Oh, for yesterday
Thin & smart & true
Never once imagined
Being old & blue;
Now I just remember
How it used to be
Oh, I wish I could find
That child in me.

THE OLD DJ

THE OLD DJ


The old town looked the same
As I'd left it years ago
And as I drove around a bit
I took it nice & slow;
There's the house 'round the bend
A different shade of blue
I turned on the radio
And then I thought of you!

There you were, a DJ
On the air tonight
Playing songs and laughing
Like everything's allright;
You sounded 10 years older
I listened to you say
"This one's for my late wife:
"I'll Give You a Daisy a Day."

I listened very closely then
To each and every tune
Hoping you'd remember me
Under a nice full moon;
I stopped beside the ocean
And longed for yesterday
Your program was just ending
Then I heard you say:

"This one's for someone special
Just someone I used to know
Perhaps she's out there listening"
Your voice was smooth and low;
I could not believe my eyes
When I saw a white dove
While listening to you play
"SOMEWHERE MY LOVE."

I turned the new car around
And headed for the city
Had a plane to catch at dawn
But filled with self-pity:
I wiped my nose on my sleeve
Like I was still a kid
And knew I'd always love you
Until we both are dead.

THE LAST DANCE

THE LAST DANCE


He knew their time was up soon
As he walked across the floor
She glanced up to see him coming
And looked down at the floor;
"Care to dance?" he asked her
She smiled & took his hand
And they waltzed across the floor
To the slow beat of the band.

Her wedding plans all in place
The ring was on her finger
And everyone who saw it
Said it was quite a dinger!
This was 'girls night out'
Her last one 'fore she wed
As he watched her every move
He wished that he was dead.

Her body felt just like before
She smelled oh-so-sweet
And her smile lit the room
Swept him right off his feet;
His lips touched her shiny hair
His hands held her so tight
And he had his woman back
At least for one last night.

The dance was nearly over
He asked to take her home
She said "I see no harm in that
Beats walking home alone";
At the door he held her close
He knew this was the last
Chance he'd have to say it
So he said it very fast:

"Would you have married me, dear
Would you have shared my bed
If I had been a single man
Would you choose me instead?"
A tear fell from his dark eyes
As she looked straight up at him
She gently wiped his tears away
Said "We'll never know, dear Jim."

WAR IS HELL

WAR IS HELL


She always liked a man in a uniform! Her friends used to often tease her about it but her dad had been a fireman and so perhaps thats how it all started.

After High Sclool she attended University to become a Nurse but dropped out when she had a chance to tour as a civilian health care worker in Iraq.

"Why do you insist on taking risks?" Her mother was against her going to the war torn country but she was a believer in freedom and knew that "freedom isn't free". She wanted to do her part.

It was hard to say goodbye to all of her friends and family but she felt the call of duty. Soon she was working in a foreign hospital, bandaging the wounds of young American soldiers. She saw death first hand and was even more determined to help her country.

"What's your name?" he asked. She turned around to see a man in uniform but this time it was not an American. They all looked alike to her, these Muslims but he wore the uniform of the Iraqie militia.

"Jill" she replied. "Jill Henderson." She extended her hand and he acknowledged it. His grip was firm, his flesh was warm. He towered over her and filled out his uniform very nicely.

"Please stay clear of the area where they are drilling today," he warned. "One can get hurt from the falling debris and ill from the poisonous fumes. What is your job in my country?" His english was flawless.

"I am a nursing assistant at the local hospital."

He nodded & with that, he was gone. But she saw enough of him to see the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on.

As the hot, humid days and nights passed and she worked diligently to help ease the pain of war-inflicted injuries, she slept fitfully in her mosquito netted bed. She found herself dreaming of the Iraqie soldier with the dark moustache and black eyes. She wondered how it would feel to have his mouth on hers?

One day, she was on a bus and saw him escorting children to a school. She looked out the wide, open window just as the bus stopped and he glanced in her direction. Their eyes locked and he nodded, a semi smile on his dark face.

He looked back but she was gone; the bus had moved on quickly. He wondered about her and her auburn hair with dancing brown eyes and full lips, a bright scarf wrapped around her head. He was struck by her beauty and wondered how it would be to see all of her hair, all of her.....

The war was getting nastier by the minute and Jill was afraid but determined to help America by doing her small part. Every day she traveled to the hospital to assist the doctors and nurses as best she could. There was no free time except when she could grab a few hours to sleep and eat.

She remembers it very well. Her tent was near the school where she had seen him and it was outside her tent she was standing when he came looking for her. He asked her if she was going to work at her job in the hospital today.

"No; I just finished my shift there" she replied.

"When will you return to your work" he asked?

"Tomorrow morning" she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason" he said. "There is much going on there today by my fellow soldiers so it is best if you avoid the area until tomorrow."

"Thank you" she said.

He looked into her eyes and before he walked away in his uniform, he said "War is Hell; a woman like you should stay in America."

She watched him leave to catch up with a group of armed Militia and he only looked back once. She raised her hand in a slight wave and he turned away quickly, a very serious look on his handsome face. She would never forget it!

That night, she was awakened by sirens and loud noises in the streets. She quickly dressed and ran outside her tent to see the reason for all the commotion.

Her bunkmates ran to tell her that some Iraqies had blown up the hospital and there were few survivors. The most disturbing news was it had been accomplished by the enemy who had disguised themselves as friendly Iraqies. Jill lost many good friends and valuable doctors and staff.

She was grateful that she was not in the facility when it was struck and was alarmed that it could have been herself blown to pieces. She was mortified!

The next days newspaper showed the Militia behind the massacre and she was stunned and shocked to see her handsome Iraqie soldier had been one of the suicide bombers. His name had been Mohammed Havolie.

Had he not warned her to stay away from the hospital? Was he willing to sacrifice his own life yet smitten enough to save hers?

She prepared to go home as she felt the sting of death all around her. She was one of the lucky ones; she was walking onto an aircraft; many were in body bags with the American flag wrapped around them.

Jill grew old overnight; she returned to the United States and went back to school to become a Pediatrics Nurse. But she knew in her heart and she never forgot that the enemy in uniform had saved her very own life.

War is hell!

IN MY WHITE HOUSE

IN MY WHITE HOUSE

I heard a song on the radio
About a blue house painted white
It must have been a sad house
Oh, what a pitiful sight;
Then I thought of my very own
And wondered what he'd do
If he could live in my house
In my white house painted blue?

Would he still be missing her
The one he sings about?
And could he stop his crying
And live without a doubt?
Or would he guess, correctly
That I'm still missing you
While playing my ol' radio
In my white house painted blue.

I heard his song and wondered
If his blue house painted white
Hugs him close as mine does
And hears him cry all night?
Maybe he should burn it up
Like memories I've burnt of you
Then maybe he can live with me
In my white house painted blue.

GOD KNOWS I TRIED

GOD KNOWS I TRIED

One wonders as one ages
If they have tried their best
To be a friend to others
And an ear for all the rest;
One asks if they were there
For friends who were in need
And if they cared enough
Should a loved one bleed?

God knows I tried
To be a friend to all
To answer the telephone
Should they ever call;
To pick up the tab
When they could not
And to give them a hug
Or offer them a cot.

One worries that it's not enough
One questions one's own self
Should I bury pride
And put it on a shelf?
No-one but God is perfect
Easy to make a mistake
Should I turn the other cheek
When friends turn out fake?

God knows I tried
To be a good friend
Right from the beginning
Until the very end;
But it takes two to tango
And I guess it's best
To let some friendships die
And let them lie in rest.

God knows I tried......

IF YOU WERE ONLY MINE

IF YOU WERE ONLY MINE

She wipes a tear and wonders
Where he might be tonight
And she wishes it was with her
To make everything alright;
She whispers into the darkness
As the cuckoo clock strikes nine
"Oh, what fun we'd have
If you were only mine!"

"I would keep you smiling
As I just love to tease
And I would make you happy
As I so love to please;
I'd love you Sunday morning
And late on Saturday night
And in between the hours
I'd hold you very tight."

"I'd buy your favourite ice cream
I'd cook your favourite pie
I'd wear my birthday suit
At the wink of your eye;
You'd never have to worry
You'd never feel too blue
I'd keep us very busy
Just by loving you."

"You'd never be too lonely
We'd always touch and feel
Each other's naked bodies
Head to toe and heel;
I'd tickle you if you frowned
I'd share my last penny
And if you cried a teardrop
There wouldn't be very many."

She blows her nose and worries
If he is doing ok
And she wishes on a star
To chase her blues away;
As prayers are said on her knees
The cuckoo clock strikes ten
God knows that tomorrow night
She'll do it all over again.

OUT IN THE BARN

OUT IN THE BARN

As a small child I used to hide
Behind my mothers long skirts
And as a child often will do
I recited old, familiar verse;
"Hiawatha" was much too long
"Casey At the Bat" was too
But out in the barn, alone in the hay
I made up my dreams of you.

The hard, bitter rain would fall
Onto the tin, fragile ol' roof
The shadows hid my small frame
And my blossoming youth;
I made believe you were there
Out in the barn, close by
And as I laid in your arms
I almost could see your eyes.

Out in the barn, all alone
I'd play and pretend sometimes
That you would listen to me
Reciting all of my rhymes;
But I grew up and realized
Dreams seldom come true
So I'll go out in the barn
To try to remember you.

Perhaps I'll find you waiting
Ready to hold me tight
Perhaps you'll be everything
I need to make things right;
I lay in the fragrant hay
Though your face I cannot see
Out in the barn, my eyes
Cry for what cannot be.

LETTER FROM HEAVEN

LETTER FROM HEAVEN

God said: "What are you doing, my child?"
As I scribbled on some plain, lined paper
He treated us all in the very same way
The homeless, rich, crippled & leper;
"I'm writing to all my loved ones
Who still dwell on your earth below,"
And as he touched my dark brown hair
He asked: "If I'd send you back, would you go?"

He walked away while I thought it all over
And it didn't take me long at all
To know just where I wished to live
But how I wished that I could call:
Each one below to reassure them
How perfect and serene this feels
Living with Jesus my Saviour
Watching Him work as He heals.

But then I thought of my family there
Down on that place called Earth
The land where I first learned to love
The wonderful land of my birth;
I missed my friends and my neighbors
And a very special dog and man
My heart ached to hold them both
Then I felt my Saviour's hand.

I wrote down " How I miss you, darling
And I wish we were still together
But I'm so happy to have just been told
God promised to deliver this letter;
I know you won't think that it's true
But I hope that you will believe
In miracles and in the power of prayer
And that this last letter's from me."

I watched as an Angel swooped it up
And as it left for it's destination
I thanked God with all my heart
It was cause for a big celebration;
I washed His feet and he just smiled
As we worshipped in Heaven together
Soon the Angel returned on wings
Having delivered my letter........

THAT I MISS YOU TONIGHT

THAT I MISS YOU TONIGHT

The yellow moon follows me
As I walk the city streets
He follows me inside a bus
We pass the folks in their seats;
He gets off when I do
Still so full and bright
Somehow, I think he knows
That I miss you tonight.

He walks me safely home
And as I find my keys
He's still hanging there
When I get on my knees;
I close the shade so he can't see
Me cry myself to sleep
And when I wake up tomorrow
He'll never know I weep.

Now the sun is laughing
As it keeps me company
I feel it's hot breath
Aimed straight down at me;
I swim alone at the shore
Wiithout a soul in sight
Until I tell the moon again
That I miss you tonight.

The moon & sun protect me
But the stars are like no other
They wink at me like you did
When you were my lover;
They all seem to guide me
All shining new & bright
They know without me saying
That I miss you tonight.

And I just wanted you to know
That I miss you tonight.

FLIGHT 217

FLIGHT 217


The rain beat hard against the window pane as she sat with a cup of hot cocoa, looking out. It reminded her of that long day when she suddenly felt old all at once and life seemed so unfair. She lit a vanilla candle and sat back in her lounging chair..........

It had been raining for days on end when she climbed into her car to head to the airport. Being just 22, she was through college and was enjoying life to the fullest. Now she was flying to Connecticut to join her fiancee who was waiting there for her. They were going to spend a long week-end together, skiing and swimming and just being on the water. She had bought a new bright, yellow 2 piece swimsuit and knew she looked hot in it!

The airport parking lot was jampacked as she parked her red sportscar and rode a shuttle bus to the airport gate. Her umbrella helped a bit and she found herself sharing it with a tall, dark & handsome stranger.

When they had both checked in for their flights, she was pleased to discover that he was on her's, flight # 217. They sat together inside a coffee shop near their gate and he lit her cigarette. This was long before smoking was banned as it is now.

His name was Zack O'Connor and she introduced herself as "M" Fitzpatrick, though her real name was Emily. All of her friends just called her M.

"So, M, what takes you all the way from Ca. to Conn.?"

She found herself not wanting to tell him that she was engaged to marry the man who would be meeting her plane in a few hours. So she just said "Well, I'm going there to jet ski with some friends; hang out for a few days. I just graduated University and need to let loose for awhile."

He told her he was a music teacher in CA. and was on his way to a Seminar in New Haven, Conn. They sat across from each other, smoking and sipping their martinis. He saw that she had a dazzling smile and laughing eyes to match.

After an hour they heard their flight being annoucded & they walked toward the gate. But the plane was being delayed for two hours so she found a pay phone to tell her boyfriend the news. His answering machine took her message as he had probably already headed to the Conn. airport to meet her.

Zack said that he had no-one meeting his plane so he was content to wait with M and continue their new friendship. They had so much in common. They were both "an only child", both were single, smokers and athletes. They loved all kinds of music but jazz was their favourite.

"Whats' that perfume you're wearing?" he asked her. "I really like it!"

They walked outside the airport together, him holding her umbrella for them. She felt him holding her elbow as they crossed in front of some traffic. Everywhere they went, the women were looking at her with envy; she was thrilled!

They decided to eat as the plane wasn't leaving anytime soon; apparently, a mechanic was going all over it again. She would never be able to eat the same food ever again without tears. It was 'chateaubriand for two' with huge baked potatoes and fresh garlic bread. They toasted one another with a sweetened iced tea and he smiled at her white teeth & brown eyes.

Back inside the gate, the airplane was just commencing to board. They stood together in line and noticed they were seated just one row apart. He was hopeful of trading places with who-ever was her seat mate. He had decided he'd pay someone just so he could sit close beside her, get her phone number, ask her to go out.......

She remembers thinking how nice, attractive and intelligent he was; a great listener with a wonderful sense of humour. Could it be that she wasn't ready to be someone elses wife? Maybe she had more wild oats to sow yet.......

An announcement was being made over the intercom. Delta was asking for volunteers to take a flight that was leaving just 20 minutes after this one. They were offering a future FREE round trip ticket to anywhere in the USA as an incentive. It seemed they had oversold this first flight to Conn.

"I should do this." she said to Zack. "I can use a free ticket at Christmas time to visit my parents back in Mass."

"Well, that's very nice of you but I was hoping to see more of you once we get to Conn."

"Listen, here's my phone number at home." What was she thinking? She was engaged! But all she knew at this point was she HAD to see Zack again. They had some special chemisty going on like she had never experienced before in all her 22 years.

He turned to hug her as he left for flight 217 and she lifted her mouth to his and spontaniously brushed her soft lips against his. When they opened their eyes, all she recalls him saying was a tender, emotional "M".......

In a flash, he was gone, carrying his briefcase full of music books and her phone number. Her heart rushed and she sat down by herself, touching her lips.

Soon, her flight was announced and she was given a free pass to use with-in the next 12 months. She knew his plane had already taken off but still she looked in the skies for a glimpse of the aircraft. All was quiet out there and she pulled down the shade & fell asleep. Her dreams were happy and filled with a sense of excitement and chills went up & down her spine. Zack!

When her plane landed, they were rushed inside but not before the glare of cameras caught her attention! Was there a celebrity on board? A politician? What was happening? She tried to look for her boyfriend but Security rushed all of them inside a secured room.

It was then she heard the horrible news. Flight #217 had not made it to Conn! It had gone down into the Atlantic Ocean and there were no survivors! A Chaplain began to pray.......

She was stunned, in shock! Zack! Oh my God! Her fingers touched her lips and she felt his caress; she saw his dark, sexy eys. And she burst into tears!

As the Media swarmed her, asking how it felt to be alive when by all accounts and purposes she should be in the cold waters below, she hid behind her dark glasses, refusing to answer. It bewildered them and they followed her to where she had arranged previously to meet her friend.

He was just so happy to have Delta tell him she was on a later flight, that he was crying too. She let him hold and hug her to him while she collapsed inside his embrace. He thought she must have been so relieved just to be alive!

They married that Christmas Eve. in Mass. and when their first child was born nine months later, it was a boy. She had never mentioned meeting her 'heart-mate' at the airport. Somehow, it would have diminished what they had shared to tell anyone about it. She thought of him often and hoped that somehow, he knew.

As she sipped her cocoa now and watched the falling rain, her eyes filled with fresh tears for what had never been and could never be. She saw her husband's Cadilac pulling into their garage and heard their son getting out of the car.

"Hi, Mum, what's for supper?"

"Hi Zack; we're having chateaubriand and baked potatoes with home-made garlic bread. Come give me a hug."

And the rain stopped.......

ON MY KNEES

ON MY KNEES

You watched me as I left last night
A grin across your face
Guess you knew I'd be back
I just needed my own space;
You said "You can't stay away
You'll be back by sundown"
And baby, you were right
My feet barely left the ground.

On my knees, you are happy
Throwing me a crumb
I know I look pathetic
But I just feel so numb;
You never seem proud of me
You treat me like a whore
Someday, sometime, somehow
I'll walk out the door.

When I keep coming back
Each time I hate myself
And even on my knees
You keep me on a shelf;
So when you're fast asleep
On my knees, I'll be
Praying to God in Heaven
To finally set me free.

LOVERS WEATHER

LOVERS WEATHER


I like meat & potatoes
I like oven baked yams
I like eggs over easy
With a big ol' slice of ham;
I like oatmeal & brown sugar
And toast that's almost burnt
Real butter and real cream
Jam....blackberry current.

I like storms at the shoreline
I like sleet when it's night
I like wild winds anytime
I want my lightening bright;
I like to catch the first snowfall
Seeing the icecycles form
Watching as winter approaches
Waiting for Christmas morn.

I like your lips so tender
Your mouth I love to kiss
I like the way you remember
To make me feel I've been missed;
I like to take a picnic lunch
Down on the sand at the shore
Feeding each other lobsters
'Til we can't eat anymore.

So let the winds and rain come
We'll take our food upstairs
And climb into our feather bed
Like Goldylocks & the 3 bears;
Rock me to sleep, my darling
Hold me close through the night
No matter the weather forecast
Together in darkness or light.

LOVE IS BLIND

LOVE IS BLIND


She said "I'd like to dance with you
But it's been a long, long time
Since my feet have hit the floor
I know I couldn't keep time";
He walked away & wondered
If, she too, had given up
And as he buttoned up his coat
He threw away his cup.

The night air felt refreshing
As he walked on home alone
And as he passed the darkened stores
He saw a booth with a telephone;
He called his home to leave a message
So he'd have a greeting there
Alone and getting older now
There was no-one left to care.

He lay alone beneath the quilts
And wished he had someone
To wake up on the Sabbath with
As a brand new day begun;
He fried himself some pancakes
Dressed to go to church
And sat alone in his old pew
Prayed away the hurts.

She said "May I sit with you?
I'm new here and all alone
I don't know hardly anyone
To even call on the phone";
His smile lit up his whole face
As he slid down the pew
And when he walked her to her home
He felt he was brand new!

He said "How was the dance?"
She said she had left too
They smiled and walked slower
Under a sky now baby blue;
She held his arm so tightly
He never seemed to mind
The noise of her white cane
As he realized she was blind.

When they moved in together
He asked her for her hand
In marriage and forever
To wear his wedding band;
Her gift to him was herself
She no longer lived in fog
For he had trained and bought her
A special seeing-eye dog.

They danced inside their kitchen
He held his woman tight
And thanked his Heavenly Father
For making things alright;
She loved her husband dearly
And as the years flew by
She asked God just one thing:
"Take me first when we die."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Today, August 18th, is a very special day to me because that is the day God chose to give the breath of life to my mother.

He gave to the world a girl who loved the United States of America where she was born. He created a young lady who skated on the river in Mass., attended school there & worked in the city. He presented her to us as our dear mother who we all loved very, very much.

I remember her grace, her wit, her intelligence, her beauty, her common sense and of course, her talent. Her fingers would fly over the keys of her organ and piano and her voice was as sweet as any bird in the sky. She was proud to be our choir leader and church organist for many years.

My mother washed our clothes in an old tub with no running water and hung them out to dry year-round. She baked bread every day for us; she never took a nap or a rest. Mum worked 24/7, 365 days a year for her husband and eight children. She never held an outside job or drove a car but she was indispensable & irreplaceable as our mum.

I used to look forward all year long to my annual Nova Scotia vacation for one reason alone......to spend time with my mother in Barrington, in the house where I was born. I always tried to be there by August 18th and surprise her with a home-made birthday cake, made by Vi Richardson.

We'd play scrabble almost every afternoon while I was home and that's when we had our private chats. She had a wonderful sense of humour, she was easy to love. Her laughter was contagious, her eyes seemed to look right through me, her smile lit the darkness in our world.

I miss her as much today as I did after her death at the age of 72 in 1979. She never knew I had a son as he was born after her untimely death. How she loved all of her grandchildren! I have wished many, many times that I could go to her with my failures and my successes. But God gave her to me for 31 years and I'm grateful He did.

I love you, Mum; happy birthday!

"NOW WHAT?"

"NOW WHAT?"

You look at me with pity
As you walk away again
I hear you say "See ya''
But you never tell me when;
When we're chatting on the phone
And you say "I gotta go"
I wonder where you're going
That you don't want me to know?

Often when we are in bed
You dress to go outside
You say you're going for a smoke
Then you stay gone; you lied;
I ask you if you love me
And you reply "sometimes"
Then I see you out with her
Guess you think I'm blind!

As you walk away from me
You often say "Take care"
But who am I caring for
I thought we were a pair?
Last night you said "Goodnight"
As you hung up the phone
But how can my night be good
If I'm sleeping all alone?

So darlin', if I'm not the woman
You want each winter night
Don't use me in the summer
For your afternoon delight;
Don't worry and don't pity me
You know I love you, BUT
I'm getting two mixed signals
So tell me, babe: "Now what?"

BROWN EYES CRYING IN THE FOG

BROWN EYES CRYING IN THE FOG

Once upon a time you loved me
Said forever you'd be mine
Then I heard that you had married
And I believe true love is blind.

Now I walk around in circles
Just like I was a restless dog
People stare at me with pity
Brown eyes crying in the fog.

When you said your last good-bye
And held my trembling hand
Tears fell down your handsome face
Onto your gold wedding band.

Sad music only makes me worse
I go outside for a long jog
Lovers look at me and question
Brown eyes crying in the fog.

Perhaps in time I will forget you
But as I rest on a fallen log
Head in hands, broken hearted
Brown eyes crying in the fog.

YOU LOOK GOOD........

YOU LOOK GOOD.....

Darlin', you look good in white
And sexy dressed in black
When you wear that pale blue tux
You give me a heart attack!
I love to see you all dressed up
It sets off my alarms
But best of all, baby doll
You look good in my arms.

In my arms and in my heart
I hold you nice and tight
I can see your eyes of blue
And your teeth so white;
I love you decked out in denim
Or in your favourite hat
Best viewed; a la nude
What do you think of that?

When I'm in my coveralls
And up to my ears in dirt
You still give me that ol' wink
How we love to flirt!
But when I wear your wedding ring
With not a stitch in sight
We both know, to take it slow
It'll be a long, sweet night.

Yes, you look good in nothin'
And great when you dress
To go to Church on Sundays
But, dear, I must confess;
While you look hot in leather
Showing all your manly charms
Slim and tall, best of all
You look good in my arms.

JUST IN CASE

JUST IN CASE

Just in case he sees me
I always look my best
And just in case he calls me
I get lots of rest;
I want to be on my toes
Sweep him off his feet
Just in case he wants me
To make his ol' heart beat.

I wonder if he's wishing
We were back together
Someone told me yesterday
He's "under the weather";
So just in case he gets sick
I'm dressing as a Nurse
'Cuz just in case he needs me
I want to be there first.

Friends remind me it's been years
Seventeen in fact
That they think I'm crazy
He ain't coming back;
But just in case they are wrong
I'll wear his favourite scent
I'll shop & shop until I drop
If it takes my every cent.

So when he called me yesterday
I almost lost my mind
When he rode up on his bike
I wished that I was blind;
His hair and teeth both were GONE
He spoke with a lisp
"Juth in cathe you mithed me
I brought you a "Coffee Cripth"!!"


Note: Be careful what you wish for; you might get it!!

VISUAL SENSATIONS

VISUAL SENSATIONS


The sights one can see when one's eyes are open to beauty, fantasy and mystery......


A new-born calf, nursing from his mother in a sun-lit field.

An elderly man holding the hand of a toddler who's asking him to "hurry up, Papa."

The breakers at dusk as they continuously slap against the sea-shore.

A lone seagull resting on a chimney top, observing the world in motion.

A fishing boat being towed to the wharf when it must have broken down at sea or ran out of fuel.

A waitress who isn't aware that she has painted all of her toenails but one.

A mother pulling her three children in a wagon while carrying her groceries home in her arms.

An elderly couple having a beverage at a local Tim Horten's while holding hands.

A child playing hopscotch by herself.

A teacher at the beach reading "summer required reading" while sunbathing in a bikini.

A pair of young lovers looking for a secluded place to go parking in a rainstorm.

A salesman trying to sell a computer who obviously never even heard of a "mouse' before.

A mother duck protecting her family of 8 by keeping them very close to her while crossing the busy road.

A widow at the Cemetery, cleaning debris from her husbands grave on Sunday after church.

A guy paying a few cents more on a food bill at a store for a lady who was counting change and was short.

An RCMP officer who took the time to fix a flat tire on a teenagers bicycle.

A neighbor who shoveled a widow's walkway before she had even got out of bed and knew he had done so.

A jeweller who shortened a watch band with-out charging the customer who had purchased it elsewhere.

A stray dog who was so thirsty he drank from a rusty pan with rainwater in it that he found at an abandoned house.

An American couple who tipped extra big when they overheard their waitress was working to support her fatherless son.

A runner who helped another runner who was struggling to keep going at the finish line.

A lady hanging out tons of wet laundry whose clothesline broke in half and a neighbor hastened to her aid.

A baby nursing at a Mall who was sound asleep and holding on with both hands!


The world is basically a good and helpful one; we need to visualize the good deeds around us and vow to do our part for one another. Life is difficult! But a smile can act as your umbrella on the most darkest of days and nights.

SNOW BOUND

SNOW BOUND


Nova Scotia was truly blessed
The day Hank Snow was born
People from around the world
The happy, blue and forlorn......
Fell in love with his singing
And his amazing deep voice
Entertained the troops abroad
Amidst the war & noise.

His childhood was rather sad
As he was treated very mean
Abused at such an early age
Way up into his teens;
Music was his true escape
He dreamed in black & white
And then in living color
Saw his dreams take flight.

From poverty to a Millionaire
He took quiet baby steps
Always quite the gentleman
Still, many times he wept;
The road was often rocky
But he just persevered
And soon on the radio
A super song appeared.

"I'm moving on!"won our hearts
As did many other songs
He wrote his own style lyrics
Of love somehow gone wrong;
How he loved his mother
And his handsome horse
Canada and the USA
And Jimmy, his boy, of course.

Now Hank's dead and he's gone
But we still have his songs
To miss him as we dance and smile
And as we try to sing along;
He may be up in Heaven now
He's no longer here snowbound
I'd like to say "Hello Luv"
"I miss you being 'round."

ALL WOMAN

ALL WOMAN

They say that fashions dying
That it's cool to be unhip
To wear sensible undergarments
Throw away the slip;
The trend is be unsexy
Sophistication's not in
That make-up should be subtle
Or it's almost a sin.

But I am here to tell you
That all of them are wrong
To be 'all woman' all the time
Is right where I belong;
I love my whole slips
Black or white or pink
I love to wear my pearls
& watch you give a wink.

Bring on my red high heels
I'll wear them with my jeans
I don't wear the latest trends
I'm not in my teens;
I like my mascara black
My lips all painted red
A french manicure
Always drops men dead.

Fishnet hose or stockings
A tightly tailored suit
A red dress above my knee
With my long black boots;
A soft angora sweater
Tight across the bust
Keeps him guessing whats beneath
Under all that lust.

All woman, all the time
Soft black cotton gloves
A hat with a black veil
All these things I love;
Bare legs in the summer
Black tights in the Fall
But on Christmas morning
Nothing on at all.

So take away your fashion
And I'll keep mine intact
'Cuz sooner or later
It will all come back;
I'll have my bell bottoms
I've kept my poodle skirt
Can't take away the woman
It's too much fun to flirt!

THERE'S THE DOOR........

THERE'S THE DOOR


We were like three stooges
Like three peas in a pod
Went everywhere together
Oh, I was so proud:
That my best friend and you
Got along so very well
I couldn't see it coming
The storm straight from Hell.

For almost twenty months
While you and I made love
She was my closest friend
Sent from God above;
I told her everything
And trusted both of you
And now I know the truth
I don't know what to do.

I don't blame her completely
You know I miss her so
But when you had to choose
And you told her to go;
I felt dead inside of me
I felt so much alone
How could I be so stupid
Or should I have known?

I wonder if I can trust you?
When the phone rings
I go to pick it up
And nobody says a thing;
What we had is lost, babe
And I can't live this way
I can't make love to you
Another single day.

I have learned a lesson
Not to trust or believe
A lover or a girlfriend
They are just like thieves;
Robbing me of power
Control and self-respect
Don't look so surprised
What did you expect?

So you say it's not her
You want for your wife
Well, I am here to tell you
I'm out of your life;
I don't care what you do
I don't like you anymore
And though I'll always love you
There's the door........

THE LIGHTS OF THE CITY

THE LIGHTS OF THE CITY

Everywhere he looks these days
He sees his own reflection
In the shining windows
Polished to perfection;
Inside the glass are shoppers
Everyone's so busy
Sometimes he gets dizzy from
The lights of the city.

Rich folks flashing money
Dressed in diamonds and furs
Hookers flashing fishnet hose
Wannabee cowboys in their spurs;
People all in a hurry
To get nowhere fast
Welcoming the future
To Hell with the past.

The lights of Las Vegas
Brighten up his bed
Wherever he can find a spot
To rest his weary head;
Some drop him a quarter
Some give him a kick
But he just sits quietly
Because he is so sick.

Once he had money too
A house and all of that
But when she left he gave up
And never did look back;
The illness he can live with
He does not want their pity
But often he can do without
The lights of the city.

She saw him downtown one day
As she was walking by
He was soundly sleeping
It almost made her cry;
But she just left some money
And when he awoke
He saw five thousand dollars
No longer was he broke.

The lights of the city
Seemed brighter now at last
And he went back to school
Tried to forget the past;
He met a nice lady
Drove a Ford Ranger
And often asked himself
Who WAS that special Angel?

DADDY'S BOOTS

DADDY'S BOOTS

When I was but a wee lass
And one of many kids
I 'd follow dad around;

While he did his chores
Outdoors rain or shine
Or often in the barn.

It seemed he never stopped
It was in his blood
Or perhaps in his roots;

Animals and gardening
Always working hard for us
In his rubber boots.

Now he's gone to Heaven
And I'm proud to say
I have the same roots;

I also have my feet
Firmly planted
In daddy's old boots.

I wear them in wet grass
Or to wash my car
And always in the woods;

They are warmly lined
Paint stained but
Oh, they feel so good!

I know that I can never fill
His boots or shoes
They're just a bit too loose;

But I am so proud
Each time I pull them on
And walk in daddy's boots.

How I love my daddy's boots!

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

When we wed some time ago
I knew my life was good
We settled down with ourselves
In our neighborhood;
We raised our children
And we worked hard
And now that we're retired
Here's a special card:

"I love you, that says it all
You are my everything
I am so proud to be your wife
And wear your wedding ring;
I love you and only you
Forever and a day
Need me, kiss me, want me
In your old familiar way."

"As we walk along in sync
Stay close by my side
Carry me sometimes, dear
Like when I was your bride;
The days are close together
The nights too far apart
I'll love you forever
Body, soul and heart."

TAKE ME WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO

TAKE ME WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO

Baby, I see that far away look
In your bright blue eyes
It says you might be leavin'
Time to say good-bye;
If your plans are to go
Then I think you should know
I've just one big favor
Take me with you when you go.

Take me far away from here
To where the lights shine bright
Maybe off to Vegas
Where it's never night;
Perhaps we'll go to Nashville
Where things stay in tune
And stars are always smiling
Like the man in the moon.

Take me with you when you go
So I won't be alone
And when we run out of money
We can just come home;
I know you miss the highway
Like I miss the sea
But who would you make love with
If you didn't have me?

You left while I was sleeping
A note by my coffee cup:
"I didn't know what to say
So I didn't wake you up;
I couldn't take you with me
'Cuz I'm not coming back
I've left you for your brother
Yes, my lover Jack."

I cried all day on Monday
And the month of June
I cried all summer long
From midnight until noon;
I just missed him so much
Wished that he'd come back
I'll always love him so much
My only brother, Jack.

I'M THAT WOMAN

I'm That Woman Dressed In SCARLET

You said that I let you down
And that I was white trash
You said that I embarressed you
By showing my bare ass;
The way I danced made you blush
That I looked just like a harlot
And now I fit your image, love
I'm that woman dressed in scarlet.

Yes, that woman dressed in scarlet
Used to be your girl in white
And now I sleep with many men
Almost every Friday night;
When you married me in August
And cheated on New Years Eve
I dressed all up in scarlet
My tears weren't make believe.

So now I drive by your house
When I'm headed home at night
I'm still wearing your wedding band
It doesn't seem quite right;
Cheatings what you do best
With your most recent harlot
I'm the girl you lost in white
I'm that woman dressed in scarlet.

That woman dressed in scarlet
Used to think you hung the moon
Now she only sees your face
When she dances in the saloon;
You sit up front in our church
With your young, new harlot
While I sit alone far in the back
I'm that woman dressed in scarlet.

I'm that woman....

Nothing Good About Goodbyes

Nothing Good About Goodbyes


She looked in the rear view mirror
At his bags across the seat
And then she saw his sad blue eyes
As he began to speak:
"Just drop me at the Delta gate
As I fly out on them"
She gathered all her courage
And then she looked at him.

In his crisp Air Force uniform
He looked so very smart
His dark hair had been shaved
It almost broke her heart;
He said, as she hugged him tight
"Now don't you dare to cry!"
His final words to her were:
"There's nothing good about goodbyes."

The many weeks turned into months
And she didn't hear a thing
Until one foggy July night
The phone began to ring;
"It's only me" and her heart sang
"I just called to tell you hi"
And when their time was up, he said:
"There's nothing good about good-byes."

Many months passed and it was time
To put up their Christmas tree
She hung his faded stocking
Filled with his favourite candy;
She opened the card he had mailed
"Merry Christmas, Dear Mum
I wish I could be home tonight
With love from your only son."

She was cleaning out the pantry
When she first heard the car
And something told her to play dead
Ignore the news from afar;
She saw the uniforms and she knew
Before they even said he'd died
As she sobbed out the words:
"There's nothing good about goodbyes."

THE SABBATH WEDDING

THE SABBATH WEDDING


He picked up the mail & laid it on the shelf
"Just more bills and junk flyers", he said to himself;
But before he went to bed that night he saw the envelope
And his eyes grew misty as he read the printed note:

"We'd love for you to come and help us celebrate
Our wedding day; the first Sabbath, December is the date;
No gifts will be accepted, just your blessings will do
RSVP soon and please, bring a date with you."

He sat still on his bed and held the fancy page
He felt as if someone had locked him in a cage;
She had not told him she was seeing another man
And he believed he had her, right in the palm of his hand.

December came too quickly and it was finally Sunday
He'd missed work and been sick in bed since Monday;
Gift in hand he drove to their church in the big city
But couldn't go in the door when he suddenly got too dizzy.

He heard the bells, he saw the bride in her formal gown
If he could see beneath the veil, he'd see red eyes instead of brown;
A short time later he watched as their limo drove away
And his heart broke into pieces on her Sabbath wedding day.

She saw him sitting by the curb in his brand new cadilac
And as they drove right past, she never once looked back;
She knew he couldn't marry her since he already had a wife
So she settled for second choice, as she went about her life........

TOMORROW & YESTERDAY

TOMORROW & YESTERDAY

The wind whipped around her soft grey skirt as she peeked in the windows of the old house. The years had been kind to her and her wrinkled face wore a smile on this day. She hiked up her hemline to get on tip-toe to look at what once was her kitchen.

She shivered as the breath of fresh salt air traveled down her neck; she thought she heard a seagull off in the distance. She adjusted the veil of her black hat so she could see better.

Thirty-five years had passed since she had been inside and yet she could still smell the seaweed and the old wharf. Some things never change.

Gazing at the old windows, she remembered her dog's face peeking out at her, waiting patiently, tail wagging. He'd been gone almost thirty years now and yet she still missed him.

The car was waiting for her so she rushed from window to window, peeking in. Although she was ninety-five years old, she could still move very quickly and only relied on a cane now & then.

As she gazed into the living room, she could see that some-one had a piano at one time. Perhaps it was that small French boy who moved there in the years after she moved away. She saw their clothes on the line once when she drove around before leaving the area.

And she was jealous......

She wondered if he had ever played an old favourite of hers called "The Frenchsong."

The old house had been hers and she missed it but she had relocated to escape the monotony and routine of a dull existence. She had no regrets.

Almost everyone she had ever cared for in this area was now dead and buried. She looked far out to sea and watched the many birds circling overhead. The foghorn blasted her back to reality and she headed for the car.

As she stood outside of the vehicle, she looked at the old home one last time. She saw beauty, she saw age, she saw forever.

She saw herself; and she cried.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A LADY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A LADY


Night-time comes too early
And dreams can last so long
The hours seem forever
Like a tired, old love song;
The darkness closes in
And the rhythm of the rain
Rocks me back & forth to sleep
Reminding me again:

You don't have to be a lady
To sigh
You don't have to be a baby
To cry......
But you better stay strong
Or he'll take you along
To a time you'll believe
All his lies.

The moonlight awakens us
He dresses to go home
She'll be wondering & worrying
Listening for the phone;
I know just how she feels
He treats us both the same
But she's the lucky lady
Who has his ring & name.

You don't have to be a lady
To sigh
You don't have to be a baby
To cry;
But you should always be aware
He doesn't really care
And one day soon you'll hear:
"Good-bye."

You don't have to be a lady..........to die......

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

The years have all flown by so fast
My, where have they all gone?
It feels like it was just yesterday
I took your hand in mine;
We looked each other in the eye
Said "I do" until our death
And even after these fifty years
You still take away my breath.

Before our children had been born
And while you served Uncle Sam
I longed for you to hold me
But you were away in Vietnam;
What times we had when you returned
Our first son was then conceived
And life began again for us, dear
We trusted, shared and we believed.

Now I look in the mirror every day
And wonder what you still see
A grey haired, wrinkled woman
Is that old lady really me?
But you still make me feel special
When we dance in our bare feet
In the kitchen, in the dark
And then I hear you speak:

"My lady, my lover, my baby
I love you with all of my heart
And though soon I must be leaving
We'll never be too far apart;
Doctors don't know everything
And maybe they are all wrong
So tonight let me hold you, darling
'Cuz tomorrow I may be gone."

Well, the doctors did know everything
For tonight I'm toasting myself
And I sob as I raise my empty glass
To you in a box on the shelf;
"Happy anniversary" to the man
Who always gave me everything
When he chose me for his only wife
And I slipped on his ring.

"Happy Anniversary"........

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

Every day you were my dad
Was "fathers day" to me
I used to love to spend my time
Just sitting on your knee;
Listening to your stories
And laughing at your jokes
Eating Scotties potato chips
And drinking bottled coke.

You rode me on our bicycle
To watch the beavers work
They built their little dam
In our quiet, local brook;
You built for me a snowman
You held me when I was sick
And taught me how to whittle
From an old wooden stick.

I loved you & never thought
Our times would ever end
You weren't just my daddy
You were my best friend;
Life's so hard without you
I look forward to the day
I can sit upon your knee
And this is what I'll say:

"Happy Fathers Day" dad
Now every day we'll be
Close together always
Mum and you and me;"
Until then I'll miss you
And pray you are ok
Fathers Day in Heaven
Is every single day!

ONE LAST DRINK

ONE LAST DRINK

I know you're not happy
When I spend time alone
Missing our four children
Who have all left home;
You know my heart aches
Every time they call
And I feel my self break
As I walk down the hall.....

"One last drink" I say aloud
As I pop the cork and pour
A little bit of happiness
Isn't that what this is for?
You look at me in disgust
As you watch your game
I drink alone at the table
'Til I don't know my name.

Our home is just a house now
Since the kids all moved away
And all I do is drink now
Nearly every single day;
You work the extra hours
To stay away from me
But I always have my bottle
To keep me company.

You ask me if I'm ready now
To come on up to bed
I answer "one last drink
Yes; just one, I said!"
You slam the door behind you
Your face turned to the wall
And I can hear you snoring
From way out in the hall.

Our life is dull and routine
Our family's far apart
Can't you see I'm dying
Of a fragile, broken heart?
Give me some time to heal
Give me more time to think
And in the meantime, baby
Just give me one last drink.......

MEMORIES

MEMORIES

Sometimes when the moon is full
And I can't get to sleep
I lay awake just counting
Memories instead of sheep;
I remember how you laughed
And how you liked to tease
God help me but I remember
How you loved to please.

I sit there by the window
And wonder how you are
And if perhaps you're looking
At the same falling star;
And I wonder if you're happy
If she's everything I'm not
And then I count the memories
The ones that you've forgot.

Like when we got lost in Texas
And the time we saw that bear
You almost drove off the road
I died laughing, dear;
Remember we slept in the car
When our waterbed froze?
And then there were the times
We ate without our clothes!

Memories are all that's left
Now she has you in bed
And I go to sleep praying
That I'll just wake up dead;
I remember you always said
I was your 'special girl'
Well, I guess you've forgotton
That you were my whole world.

HOME

(This is in memory of Minnie's daughter who died of crib death at aged 6 months):


HOME

God has been good to me
He's provided everything
A mommie could ask for
It's made my heart sing;
But now I'm more excited
Because today I'll set sail
Soaring up to Heaven
To see my Bonnie Dale.

For six months I held her
Loving her every day
She'd smile back up at me
Until she passed away;
I never understood just why
God took her as a child
At first it made me angry
And often drove me wild.

But now I see the reason
He does things His own way
She must have been my Angel
On some of my worst days;
Today I'll hold her once again
She won't ever be alone
Bonnie Dale, my baby girl
Your Mommie's coming home.

In Loving Tribute:

In loving tribute to my sister-in-law and dearest friend, Minnie Mundell who died June 9th, 2008:


She must have been a special woman
In our Heavenly Father's eyes
For Him to offer many long days
For us to tell Minnie goodbye;
With much dignity and grace
She embraced His welcoming arms
And left us for Eternity
Where she's now safe from harm.

How she loved to spend her time
With her large family near
How she loved to talk & laugh
And sometimes shed a tear;
Playing cards or bowling
Were big parts of her life
But none was so important
As being Rodney's wife.

A friend to many through the years
Patriotic, loyal and true
Minnie's holding Rod's hand now
Like the day she said "I do";
Her travels may have ended
But her journey's just begun
Together, forever in Heaven
With God and His only Son.

SHE LEFT THE BEANS IN THE OVEN

SHE LEFT THE BEANS IN THE OVEN....


My big sister was a looker
And Ma and Pa were scared
She refused to listen
And sometimes even dared
To talk back to them
And when they were asleep
She sneaked out late at night
And never made a peep.

But then she turned eighteen
And thought she was in love
Ma said it was just a crush
Pa said he'd heard enough;
He gave her an early curfew
And when he left for work
She began her chores as usual
And then she wrote inside a book:

"I left before the beans were done
So add some water, please
And bring the clothes inside
It may rain on your blue jeans;
Tell Mama that I'm sorry
Tell Daddy I love him
But me and Willie Baxter
Are gonna live in SIN."

Well, I played outside all Saturday
I watered our yellow-eyed beans
And waited for the blizzard
In my favourite, damp bluejeans
Ma only sat three places
After she read the note
And daddy fell to pieces
Slept still in his coat.

I think I made him very mad
When I asked of him that night:
"Have we ever lived in SIN?
Is it near Belmont Height?"
When they just ignored me
I ate some more baked beans
And took a map to my room
Looked for SIN in my dreams.

Days turned into winter months
And when she returned one day
She had a baby in her arms
I heard my daddy say:
"My, he's a looker just like you
Can you stay for dinner?"
And now that I'm ten years old
I know just what's a sinner.

She left the beans in the oven..........

GONE

GONE

Seventy months have come & gone since
You were called home by God
Seventy months without your music
Is a very long time, Rod;
We haven't even played cards much
No-one's played your old guitar
It sits alone inside your room
A room that's fit for a star.

Minnie made that room a shrine
She said she felt you close
The grave was cold & lonely
Like a silent, frozen ghost;
But in the room she made for you
She'd sit and feel you near
She said "It's like he's saying:
Stay awhile with me, dear."

But the room will not be used
As she will soon join you
And then you'll be together
No longer feeling blue;
Flowers I'll put on your grave
For both of you asleep
Seventy months or seventy years
You'll still see & hear me weep.

THE LAST LETTER

June 3rd, 2008



Dear Minnie:

I hate to admit it but I didn't really like you when we first met. After being told that you were going to be my oldest brother's wife, I went off to sulk. He was my Hero and I was very jealous. Not so much because he was marrying you but because he'd be leaving our family home and spending all of his time with your son and daughter who weren't too much younger than I.

When you became very ill after having Rodney's second child and had to have major surgery in Halifax, I felt very guilty for having resented you earlier. And I've loved you ever since.

Still, I now feel as if I didn't REALLY know you until after my brother died in 2003. Suddenly, you talked more, you shared more and I grew to know and love you as my sister in law and as my running buddy. We attended the same church, liked the same music, went to the Senior Games, played 45's at our Seniors Club, cribbage at the Firehall, attended Variety shows and church suppers; talking about baseball; we always went up to Yarmouth together to the monthly Sentimental Journey dances. The time we spent with one another was fun; good quality time filled with lots of tears and laughter.

I'll miss our late night talks when neither of us was sleepy and one would call the other to chat or gossip or plan the week's events. Or commisserate about the weather, the high cost of gas, the world's crisis, etc.

If I wanted to know anything about the Island, all I had to do was ask you. I can hear you now: "So & so's great grandmother was a Ross or a Brannon or a Smith"....whatever......and 15 minutes later you'd still be going back in time. Ironically, you grew up on Cape Island yet lived in Barrington; I grew up in Barrington and lived on Cape Island.

I know how much you missed Rodney and how you longed to be with him again. The sun went out of your world when the breath went out of his. I'm sorry I was jealous of his love and adoration for you when as a child I missed him after he married you. Your love for one another was true, inspirational and all encompassing.

Barrington will miss you; your cat will miss you; our Church will too. You'll be sorely missed by your family and especially your children but I for one will always wish you were with us just hanging out together, talking about our favourite topic......Coronation Street! Who can I complain to now about 'Cilla or Norris or David, the evil one?

You lost a baby and got through it; you struggled with a brain tumour and fought it; you buried your husband and survived it; but this last unexpected, sudden illness was insurmountable and you faced death with courage and dignity.

I admire your strength and pray that you can step into Heaven to find my brother grinning and saying "What took you so long, Mum?"

I CAN'T LEAVE THAT BEHIND

I CAN'T LEAVE THAT BEHIND

I was going through my attic
On a dreary, rainy day
Wondering what I should keep
Deciding what should stay;
When I saw the old trunk
With my childhood inside
And there was dad's R/R cap
He wore before he died.

"I can't leave that behind"
I heard a soft voice say
Then I saw the pitch fork
I used when we made hay;
I saw my Heidi books
As the rain beat on the house
I saw my CGIT uniform
I couldn't leave my blouse.

I walked all inside my home
Trying to make a list
What to take, what to leave
"I love this candy dish;"
My friend Lynda made me
Some things I must take
But what about my bed
On which I love to wake?

The list grew much longer
When I sorted through my life
I used to love that cookbook
When I first was a wife;
I cannot part with pictures
They are all of my past
The scrapbooks may be yellowed
But I will pack them last.

"I can't leave this behind"
It was my daughters toy
And those old baby clothes
Used to fit my boy;
There's nothing in the suitcase
As I sort through my mind
There must be things I can toss
But nothing can I find.

The old house is staying put
And I hurt to say goodbye
All my life is in it
It just makes me cry;
I see my "wedding dress"
And think of ties that bind
I never got to wear it yet
I can't leave THAT behind.......

WHEN YOU LOVE ME

WHEN YOU LOVE ME

The years have flown quickly, dear
There's so many ways you show
Your love for me every day
I want to let you know
That I feel special and so lucky
I wish that you could see
The joy deep inside my heart
When you love me.

When you hold me in your arms, babe
Our two hearts beat as one
When you kiss my hungry mouth
And I taste your tongue
I fall in love once again
Like the very night we met
How I loved the first time
I never will forget.

When you love me all the way, dear
It's heavenly and complete
You start at my eyes and ears
And end up at my feet
My body lies in wait for you
I know that you must see
A woman who's all yours
When you love me.

So as the years go by, sweetheart
And we walk hand in hand
I'll always be your woman
If you'll be my only man
When we're laying side by side
Or I sit upon your knee
I'll always aim to please you
When you love me.

"The Cancer's Nothing."

"The Cancer's Nothing".

We were back home on vacation
Took a drive around the town
Our license plate showed 'Georgia'
As we drove all around;
A lady was alone outside
And when we stopped the car
She smiled up to greet us
Said "My, you've come so far!"

I told her we were passing by
As once we slept inside
When I was still an in-law
Before some of them had died;
She asked us inside for tea
In her strong British voice
The house was very quiet
With hardly any noise.

She spoke of her life alone
And we shared same, of course
She said "The cancer's nothing
Compared to the divorce;"
She wasn't sure she'd make it
She thought she might return
To her home in New Zeland
For which her heart did yearn.

We shook hands and parted
After a tour of the place
I said thanks and good-bye
Then looked her in the face;
"I've always loved this old house
So if you decide to sell
Would you give me the chance?
But I only wish you well."

After she had moved back home
And I had done the same
After she had passed away
The house now in my name:
I thought of her face often
And heard her voice, of course
"The cancer's nothing
Compared to the divorce."

And when I watch the setting sun
Or hear that ol' foghorn
I think about her broken heart
And I feel so forlorn;
She was strong and very kind
An Angel 'til the end
I think this house misses her
It, too, was her best friend.

COWGIRLS NEVER DIE

COWGIRLS NEVER DIE

He kissed her mouth and held her tight
Before he left for work
She waved from the kitchen window
Like it didn't even hurt;
His scent stayed with her all day
Like he'd never said good-bye
She went about her busy life
'Cuz cowgirls never cry.

Sometimes he'd come around again
Just like he'd never left
And she would offer all she had
To give of her own self;
But it wasn't ever quite enough
And he'd tell her those ol' lies
She'd smile when he rejected her
'Cuz cowgirls never cry.

He'd love her & he'd leave her
To him, it was just a game
He chased all the younger ones
But she was his old flame;
He sometimes brought her flowers
Or baked her favourite pie
She always laughed and smiled
'Cuz cowgirls never cry.

Then late one night she heard him
Trying his key in her door
And when he saw she'd shot herself
He found her on the floor;
He held her as he cried and cried
And begged her not to die
But all he heard were these last words:
"Cowgirls never DIE."

FAR ACROSS THE SEA

FAR ACROSS THE SEA

The lights of the city waved farewell
As she looked down from the plane
Tucked a pillow behind her head
As they flew out of the rain;
She closed her eyes to hide the tears
Ordered an iced cold tea
Felt her life about to change
Far across the sea.

He wouldn't know how to find her
He wouldn't know until the Fall
She leaned back and reminisced
He wouldn't know who to call;
Months would pass and she'd be safe
He'd never know just why
She flew back home to England
It was time for her to die.

When she was ill and was informed
She had less than one year
She kept the news to herself
It filled her with great fear;
She knew he'd not abandon her
But he already had a wife
She packed and left one rainy night
Giving him back his life.

When Fall approached, her time was up
And she stared at the telephone
The Nurse said "May I help you, dear?"
But she asked to be left alone;
She heard him answer right away
She said "Goodbye, it's me"
And two broken hearts collided
Far across the sea.

LOST LOVERS

LOST LOVERS


The winter had been a very long, frigid one and they were looking forward to getting away to a warmer climate. As the plane touched down in Bermuda, he tossed his jacket on the luggage cart and she put on her straw hat.

This was the first vacation they had taken in many years as he was a work-a-holic and she usually went away with her girlfriends or sister. Their children were grown and their grandkids were getting school-aged so they had no reason to stay home all of the time. Life was good but simple and routine to the point of being boring and lifeless.

It definitely had become loveless when it came to romance as all he wanted to do was sleep, eat and work. She was into gardening, shopping and yoga with her friends. They did attend church together sometimes and every now and then went out to eat with their family.

So as they stepped into their cottage that they had rented for the week, they were shocked to see it was for 'honeymooners'. Apparently, the mix-up happened when the couple who had booked the place had cancelled and now this was the one they ended up with. At no extra charge, they were thrilled to see all of the extra perks but a bit embarressed as at home they slept in separate beds, albeit in the same room.

The round, king-sized bed was covered in red velvet, the expensive kind. Emily pulled back the covers to discover black and red satin sheets. Oh my! She had always wanted some but her husband thought it foolish and immature, a silly expense.

Meanwhile, he was opening the fridge with all of its complimentary drinks. He noted lobster dip, caviar and many shots of alcohol in small bottles. Then there was the cabinet stocked with special sweets, candy and treats. The grin on his face was priceless! He opened a cold beer and they toasted one another.......

The room was a bit chilly this morning so they were pleased to see the fireplace was lit and cozy. They unpacked and ordered room-service. As they ate fresh mussels and conch chowder with freshly baked bread, they stretched and yawned from the long plane trip.

Emily changed into some lounging clothes and curled up near the massive fireplace which Will had added some wood to. He sat behind her and massaged her tight neck muscles. She leaned back into his strong arms and before she knew it, had fallen asleep in them.

He sat holding her, smelling her hair for the first time in many years. He brushed his lips against her ear and held her close as she slept; she looked like an Angel. When they awoke together, it was almost 2 o'clock and they left to go sight-seeing on the mopeds they had rented. What fun as the ocean breezes blew through their hair......

Evening came much too soon and they changed for dinner to go eat at the local surf & turf place close by. As they walked to it, he took her hand to steady her and she left it there. This pleased him as they hadn't walked holding hands in ages. She had been pleased that he was wearing some new cologne ('Perry Ellis') she had given him for Christmas and had never worn before.

He was happy to see her wearing a bright sundress and sandals instead of her usual blue jeans and T shirt. Her dark hair was piled loosely on top of her head and made her look young and healthy. He hated the pony-tail she had worn for too long.

After dinner, they were stuffed and decided to walk some of it off. This time, she reached for his hand and they walked the beach in their bare feet, carrying their shoes with their spare hands.

The cottage was welcoming them with turned back sheets, mints on their pillows, magazines and books to read, music if they so desired. They cleaned up in their separate bathrooms. Each came out wearing matching white, hooded robes made of a soft silky material. They smiled as he poured their drinks.......

Suddenly, they heard the soft sounds of a violin; they were being serenaded! She took his hand and they slowly danced in their bare feet; she kissed his cheek after it was finished as he went outside on their patio to tip the musician.

He noticed the hot-tub outside and beckoned her to come see. It was private and only visible to the stars overhead. They saw thick, white, monogrammed towels beside it and decided to get in. The robes fell to the side as they stepped into the most wonderful, hot calming massage of the giant hot tub. Her hair had come undone and lay upon her shoulders. Their toes teased the others as they relaxed, sipping their cold drinks. They star gazed and tried to guess the names of the different ones in the sky.......

After he had dried her off and she had done likewise for him, they went inside and were shocked to see the clock said midnight. She fixed a snack of caviar and crackers and they talked; he hadn't listened to what she had to say in so long that she couldn't stop talking. Soon they were laughing and giggling.......telling naughty jokes.......

A trip to the bathroom and they were ready for bed. He was glad to see she was nude as she climbed into the huge feather-mattress bed. They laughed as they slid around on the satin material; it was lovely and very sexy. Her skin was so soft........she smelled good.......

Was it the drinks or the ocean air; the food or the hot tub? He felt very close to his wife and recognized feelings of passion for her. Her tanned, warm body welcomed him as he kissed her soft lips and whispered his love for her. She was equally attracted as she had missed him and wanted him to love her as he once did years ago.

Much later, the clock struck four in the morning and she settled snugly aginst her husband's strong, bare back. How she had missed him! She thanked God for the patience he had given her these last few years as she waited for him to want her again.

He slept like a baby and awakened with the desire for her again. Their first full vacation day lay ahead of them and yet, he had so much more to look forward to than that. He had fallen in love again with his wife, his mate, his sweetheart.

Bermuda became their destiny vacation for many more years and they always asked for their 'honeymoon' cottage. But none could ever quite match that first one when they both found themselves and each other again.