SILENCE

SILENCE


The sound of silence awakened her as she laid alone, listening. She could hear soft snoring, she could hear the sound of the hot radiators coming on and the sounds of crying. Was it her own?

Time stood still as she watched the dark room turn into the dawn's early light. Soon it would be 5:30 am and the wake-up call. She stretched and allowed her mind to drift back to fourteen long years ago......

"Hurry up or I''ll miss my flight" she heard him say. He'd jumped out of the car as soon as she pulled up to the gate and without so much as a kiss, he was gone. She was used to it by now but still, it hurt to see all the other pilots hugging their wives and families. She wondered what he'd be like if they had any children? Probably no different; he didn't even like kids.......

She asked herself sometimes why they were even married as they led separate lives. But their faith didn't permit a divorce so they adjusted to a sexless/loveless life. Still, Jill had hope and was in couselling to save her marriage and she continued to pray. Maybe Will was just overworked, under alot of stress and was unhappy with himself.

She went about her work and hobbies and kept up with all the house and yard work while he was away. He had said he'd be gone 10 days but she couldn't remember why. Usually, he worked three days on and two days off. It was probably an overseas trip or some hours he was doing to fill in for a vacationing pilot. She decided to do some early Christmas shopping with Sally, in downtown Denver, an hours drive away.

When her best friend came down with the flu, she decided to go all by herself. She decided she'd spend the night since the next day, Saturday, was not a working day for her. She packed the small gun he had given her for safety inside her purse and checked into the Hilton in downtown Denver.

After eating dinner, she decided to wait until tomorrow to start shopping. She changed into her one-piece swimsuit and grabbed a towel and her bag and went down in the elevator to the luxurious spa. This was the same Hilton Will had brought her to when they were first dating. It hadn't changed much if at all; it boasted it had approximately 1,000 rooms!

The water was awesome and she laid back to let the jet streams from the jacuzzi soothe her aching bones. Few folks were in the Spa so she felt rich to have it all to herself. She began to doze and was half asleep when she awoke suddenly. Her back was to the side door where a couple was coming in, laughing, carring drinks in their hands. She turned when she thought she recognixed her husbands voice; it couldn't be!

They didn't see her in the water as the light was very dim where she lay submerged but she could plainly see then under the bright dome light overhead. She saw Will in the swim trunks she had bought him for his most recent trip. The woman beside him was dressed in a skimpy bikini and was laughing over something he'd just whispered in her ear. Jill's heart stopped! Wasn't he working? What was going on?

They walked away from her jacuzi to sit in a steam bath and she quietly watched them, her sobs beginning to form inside her broken heart. As he held out his arms for the blond woman to sit on his lap, Jill reacted without thinking. She had trouble seeing them now that the steam was covering the sliding glass doors. She grabbed her purse to leave when she felt the gun!

The last thing she heard before the gun went off was the sound of silence. Her ears had tuned out their screams. All she remembers is the blood bath left behind and the security holding her down. She put up no fight and the local police handcuffed her and threw her in one of their cars. Then all she heard were sirens.......

Now, she hears the sound of breakfasts being shoved under the doors and the sound of many keys jangling. She smells the rancid bacon and the warm apple juice that tastes more like urine. She watches as her bunk-mate eats hers while Jill gags from the sight. Another day in D block, Cell # 76.........

It's her birthday but no-one cares; no-one even knows. She hasn't looked in a mirror in ages and wonders if her parents will bother to call as they do twice a year. Christmas is the only other day they call her; she has brought them all such shame.

As the afternoon arrives and she sits on her steel bed, she prays once more for forgiveness for taking two lives. Her own life means nothing to her anymore and she never thinks of escape. She's doing 'life' and feels as if she is already dead.

Someone's radio is playing a song and she stops crying to listen. Music still affects her, still calms her, still makes her smile or cry. It's an old song "Love Hurts". At least, she can still feel........

Soon, dinner will be served in the main dining room; the one time a day when she leaves her cell. She will make herself eat and make herself stay in line. There's no birthday cake, no candles, no wishes for her 40th year on earth.

"Jill, you have a phone call." The guard escorts her to the phone booth but she changes her mind and asks to return to her cell.

"Tell them I died" she says. And she lays on her steel bunk and listens to more sounds of silence.