1965--2009

1965--2009


I mailed out a few new Christmas cards
I slapped a stamp on all
But when I came to Mary's
I thought perhaps I'd call;
But I decided to deliver her card
Along with a small gift
And so I spent my Saturday
Driving through a few snow drifts.

The winds were wild, the roads were white
As I left my home in town
Headed down the highway
Wearing a smile instead of a frown;
The printed directions lay still beside me
As I warmed the big car
I glanced at my watch
& had no idea it would be so far.

After the shopping malls and the airport
I had the road to myself
But it was snowy slippery
And I wished I were an elf;
The radio softly played all my favourites
And the car hummed along
Loving my sense of adventure
I opened my mouth & sang the songs.

An hour later, at their busy Firehall
Many cars parked outside
I asked a lady where Mary lived
She pointed where people had died;
"Just past the Cemetery
Third house on the left".....
I felt a child's excitement
As I barely could catch my breath.

But the man who answered the doorbell
Wasn't Ross at all
This guy was old, short & fat
I knew Ross was nice & tall;
But he smiled at me in his velvet robe
Straight from the shower, he said
And I wondered to myself
Did he say that his name was Ted?

I rang the next doorbell and waited
As I recalled 1965
Mary & I both new mommies
My daughter barely alive;
Just 17 years old, we were
And time has passed us by
But when they opened that door
Time was just a blink of the eye.

She was baking some ginger cookies
Ross was sitting close by
Five dogs welcomed me with kisses
Surprise, surprise, surprise;
Mary & I went to the Christmas Tea
And laughed and reminisced
She is a special Angel
And we hugged, laughed and kissed.

True friendship never fades or dies
We picked up as before
15 years since I'd seen her
But our babies are now 44;
We wondered where the time went
As we laughed, hugged and sighed
And on the way home on the radio
"O HOLY NIGHT" made me cry.

CHANCE

"CHANCE"


He knew that there was a storm coming so he thought he'd take a brisk run thru the woods near the home where he lived with a nice family. Their little boy didn't like him much but he adored the lad and so when the kid followed him into the woods, he slowed down and waited for him.

They explored the deep woods and he stopped to leave his mark on every tree stump until he was all out of pee. The lad kept up and they played and ran together. Since the boy could not speak, he had to constantly look back to see if he was still following. They had played here before and so they did so today, chasing each other and laughing. But suddenly, the litle boy was gone!

He backtracked with his nose to the cold ground and tried to follow the scent but the water intervened. He tried going the other way and found himself deep in the darkening forest. The sun had gone down and it was very dark with a threatening sky.

He decided to head deeper inside the woods where he could detect the boy's scent and see his small footprints. But first he took a dump and drank from the near-by water.

Finally, he caught up with him and the little boy seemed very glad that he did and this time, he followed the kid's lead. But instead of heading towards home, he led him deeper into the bushes and trees.

Nightime came quickly and it began to rain; still the boy trudged tirelessly into the woods. He seemed confused and yet he exhibited endless energy. They ventured on; an adventure together. The boy was not smiling anymore; maybe they were lost? He followed him and was beginning to tire himself but he wagged his tail, happy to be friends with the lad.

When the moonless night and frigid air had surrounded them, they stopped. They found a rock to lean on and the boy laid his head on the dog's strong back and cried. The dog licked his face and allowed him to lean on him. They slept tightly together and he tried to cover him with his furry, heated body but the boy shook all night long.

Morning came early and they were still exhausted, not having slept much with the distant sound of wild animals scaring the boy. He was just 7 and still afraid of the dark and any unusual sounds. They were both very hungry as they had missed supper last night and now, it was past breakfast time.

He stretched, yawned, scratched and peed while the boy did the same. They looked at one another. What to do? Were they lost?

He tried to follow their scent back to their warm home but it had snowed all night long and there was no way to detect it. So he followed the boys lead again and all day they trudged ahead, hungry and thirsty and very, very cold. When the lad cried, the dog sat patiently and looked lovingly at him as if to say "I'll wait; take your time." Then, he'd attempt to lick his small, sweet face and freezing red hands.

There was not a sound to be heard but in the late afternoon, he thought he heard the sound of gunfire. Or was it an airplane? The boy was becoming very confused, frightened and disoriented. There was no water so they both ate snow. The dog peed some more and saw the boy on his knees, praying. Maybe God would find them?

That night, the snow was heavy and the winds were strong and the night came quickly. They saw deer and the boy ran away from them, frightened. They went further and further into the wet, freezing bush with no paths, the tree limbs always scratching their faces and arms. His tear streaked face and red, runny nose told the story; he was suffering from hunger, soaked to the bone and freezing to death, not to mention frightened as he had never been before. Alone, lost, with-out his family.....only a dog and God.

Finally, the little boy with the big brown eyes could walk no further. He collapsed, hungry, weak and very, very scared. He cried himself to sleep, huddled tightly with the dog for any warmth he might provide. And he slept, his small body curled up like he was inside his mother's womb again. With his thumb in his mouth, he dreamed of home......

The dog was the first to wake up and when the lad awoke, he didn't know where he was or what had happened. The animal waited for him to lead but the snow was so high and the forest so huge, the lad just sat and cried. The snow was coming faster and faster until they were both thoroughly covered and soaked. The boy shivered and dropped to the ground, his weak arms around the dogs neck. They lay down together on the cold, frozen ground and slept.

When the boy's breathing became very shallow and faint and the dog's kisses could not awaken him, he gathered all of his own strength and headed for home. He must get help for his friend! He could no longer run as he, too, was weak and so he walked very quickly and only stopped now and then to eat snow. His paws were red and swollen; still, he hastened towards home.

Home! They would know what to do to find his pal and make him smile again. He was hugged and petted and allowed into the warm rooms where he never was permitted before. How he wished he could talk to tell them how urgent it was that they go rescue their son. But he could barely bark, he was so weak and tired. It had taken him 2 hours to get home! He ate so rapidly that he had to throw it all up right then and there. But this time, they did not get angry with him as they cleaned it up.

That night, they all left him to go be with the lad who had been found alive. He himself slept all night long in the warm house by the fireside but with one ear open for his friend's return. He hoped he hadn't been too late and that the lad would still want to play and be buddies. He didn't care about all the special treatment and snacks he was getting. What was taking them so long to come home? He missed his brown eyed boy, his chum!

When they did come home and all the strange cars pulled up with them, the house was full of people he had not seen in ages. But wait! Where was his friend? The lady who sat beside him hugged his neck and cried. He waited patiently and looked up at her, his sad eyes sensing the tragedy. He dropped to the floor and sank, eyes downcast.

His little friend wasn't coming home today or any other day. He'd not be coming home on the schoolbus anymore either or slip him food underneath the table that he himself didn't like. There would be no more romps through the woods when the lad needed an escape or time to himself.

The dog was the center of attention today as people seemed to connect the dead lad with him and they petted and patted him. So he went outside to his doghouse and knawed on his old bone. And he slept and dreamed he was with him again, watching those big, brown eyes, asking him silently "Help me find my home."

And God heard and answered...........

CHRISTMAS AT EIGHT

CHRISTMAS AT EIGHT


'Twas the day before Christmas
In a cold, busy city
People weren't laughing
Oh, what a pity;
Folks out of work
Runny noses and such
A blizzard was coming
And other bad luck.

No gifts were wrapped
To lay 'neath our tree
All decorated brightly
For Santa and me;
I laid on my bed
And read an old book
Until supper time
When our food was cooked.

No stars lit the sky
For Santa to see
And I worried all night
Where he might be;
I tried to sing carols
But my throat was too sore
Cold drafts found their way
On my bedroom floor.

Morning soon came
And with it relief
But that was replaced
By my own grief;
For my stocking was empty
Just a note tucked inside:
"Santa's sorry to say
He's too sick to ride."

It appeared my family
Might still be asleep
So I looked in their rooms
With nary a peep;
Dad was coughing
Mum had thrown up
In the middle the baby
Curled up like a pup.

I emptied my stocking
To find a new note
"Go back to bed
And I'll be about;
I hope what I have
Doesn't find you
But you should know
Santa has the swine flu."

So I went back to sleep
When I awoke again
The clock said it was
Quarter past ten;
I hurried downstairs
Just as Mum did too
I already knew that
She had the swine flu.

But Santa had come!
And I tore open my things
A new blue bike
A toy plane with wings!
I played all day long
While they just slept
And then I dreamed
I was all grown up.

That memory lingers
Now I'm a man
And tho it was awful
It all had a plan;
Because on that Christmas
When I was just eight
I learned how Santa
Had found his soul mate.

THE NAME

THE NAME


I stood beside the rail to read
My name upon the Wall
I touched each raised letter
And felt the teardrops fall;
I felt an arm around me
And when they walked away
I was alone and whispered
What I had to say:

"I hope you know and understand
What I've had to do
Only you would comprehend
What I've been going through;
War was Hell but you know
It's me that should be dead
No-one will know the truth
Not a word I've said."

You and I were joking 'round
When the Captain said to you:
"Come with me right away
There's work ahead to do;"
I still can see the smile
As we winked at one another
He didn't guess our secret
Just knew we were twin brothers.

I heard the bombs exploding
I got the news that night
They brought you back in pieces
At least they got that right;
But when the name was posted
I saw my very own
'Cuz we switched our dogtags
When we were all alone.

So Mom & Dad cry for me
And when we get together
They can see how much I miss
My one and only brother;
I feel my name here on the Wall
And though it's been 10 years
No-one knows our secret
No-one sees my tears.

I re-enlisted after that
And almost met my fate
When I was in battle
And drew my gun too late;
Now I only feel your name
As I no longer see
And God, please forvive me
But I wish He had taken me."

BREATH OF AIR

BREATH OF AIR


If it looks like I'm happy
Well, sir, you're right
If it seems that I'm laughing
Most every night;
If you see I'm smiling
Instead of a frown
It's only because
I'm leaving this town.

The writing's on the wall
It just says "Farewell"
I'm headed out the door
Leaving behind Hell;
The future is uncertain
The past is behind
As the world lies in wait
I hope it will be kind.

So if it seems that I'm happy
And you're asking why
You won't see a teardrop
In my dark brown eyes;
If it feels like my outlook
Is all fresh & new
The only thing I'll miss, dear
Is you and you and you.

The car's all packed now
The house key's off the chain
A final look around
Causes very little pain;
The sky is sunny blue
The air, as I leave
Welcomes me to life
Now maybe I can breathe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY


MOMMIE, today's a special day because you were born on it. Thank you for all the times you held me up on your aproned lap and sang to me. Thank you for nursing me until I had baby teeth; for reading to me; for rocking me to sleep and for tucking me in.

MAMA, today is such a blessed one because God chose to give you life. I want to say thank you for loving me; for giving me chores to do; for teaching me manners and TAKING me to church instead of just sending me. Thank you for all the many wonderful foods and meals you created for our health. Thanks too, for nursing me through all my childhood illnesses and dieseses.

MUM, August 18th is always a day I celebrate in your honour because it is a bitter-sweet day now that you're gone. God gave you 2 more years after your three score and ten and I am grateful. Thank you for your courage, dignity and patience while He permitted you time to die to say all your good-byes. Thank you for waiting on me to come home to do so.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

God, hold Mommy close today and wish her a Happy Birthday from me. Give Mama an extra hug today and tell her she is loved. And when you hold her, tell Mum she is missed every minute of every long day.

Thank you!

SURPRISE!

SURPRISE!


She had been dreaming and was not happy to awake to the ringing of a doorbell. Seldom did she nap after church but once she had removed her suit and stockings, she had laid down on top of her unmade bed to rest. She must have fallen asleep, the afternoon sun settling on top of her head. As in a trance, she stumbled into the hall to go downstairs just as the bell rang again.

"Mrs. Grayson?" he asked as she nodded yes. "I'm afraid I have some bad news; may we step inside?"

What seemed like hours later, though it couldn't have been more than 20 minutes, she still felt like he had kicked her in the stomach. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined losing her husband in a bus accident. He was just 33 and healthy, an athlete who played Pro football.

When he had left over a week ago, he blew her a kiss from the taxi which carried him to the stadium to catch the bus. She could still see his handsome face, smiling as he spoke with the taxi-driver, an older black gentleman who remembered him from High School sports in their hometown.

As the officials asked if they could call anyone before leaving her alone with her grief, she offered the phone to call her parents in Denver. Until they arrived, as she knew they would, she just wanted to be left alone.

Many tears later, she returned the telephone to its hook and it immediately began to ring. She let the answering machine pick up and when it did so, she heard the greeting answer in her husband’s voice. And the sobs began anew......."Oh my God", she moaned "it can't really be true!"

The funeral was a blur; she let his family take charge and it was held in the stadium downtown. She wore a black tailored suit with her hair pulled back in a chignon and no make-up or
jewelry. When she saw the pictures in the newspapers, she hardly recognized herself. She seemed to have aged overnight and at just 29, she knew she looked more like 50. She felt as if she was 85.

Her boss was very generous with time off and so she basically slept in very late, ate little and kept the answering machine on. At least she could hear Dan's rich voice again. Soon, the only people calling were her parents and her best friend, Jane. Every night, Jane brought dinner over and picked up the wet towels and dirty clothes to take home with her to wash and dry. Jane's husband was away in Iraq and she liked to be needed. And Liz really appreciated it but just wanted to be left alone to remember the love of her life, her Danny.

The newspapers and TV paid many tributes to his sports career and she watched and read every article and piece. He had a wonderful career ahead of him and they had planned to have children but he wanted them to wait. She was married to him for 5 years when she begged him to start their family; he just was never ready. How she wished she had his sperm frozen in case something happened to him; all she wanted now was his son.

She hadn't bathed in 2 days and had lost 7 pounds when she had to return to her job as a court stenographer. She stood under the hot water, showering and washing her hair. Dressing in a plain, dark tailored pantsuit, she opened the garage door for the first time since the funeral 2 months ago, and drove to the courthouse. The Judge, her boss, welcomed her with a big hug and she entered the courtroom to concentrate as best she could.

This went on for almost 3 weeks when she was shocked once again. Her life was spent working and then going straight home to watch old reruns of movies she and Dan had watched together. Then, before bedtime she would watch old training clips of him on the football field. Many nights, she slept right there in front of the huge screen, awaking to the rooster crowing next door. Her eyes were constantly red and bloodshot.

So on this particular evening, she tried to ignore the front doorbell but they wouldn't go away. She peeked out the peephole to see a woman standing outside in the rain, an umbrella over her head. As she opened the door a bit, the woman pushed past her and it was then she saw the infant in her arms.

"Liz, I am sorry to intrude but we need to talk."

"I'm sorry but I have spoken to all the sports reporters I ever want to and......."

"No, no; I'm not with any newspaper. My name is Alex and I must explain why I'm here tonight. May I sit down?"

As soon as she sat down, the baby began to scream and she tried her best to quiet it. But it only screamed louder. She undid her raincoat and blouse and offered a full nipple to her hungry baby. Liz watched, fascinated, envying her this special gift, wishing it was her baby.

"Why are you here, if not to interview me about my Dan's death?"

She squirmed in her chair as she nursed her infant girl. She looked pale but very beautiful and had the body of a model. In fact, that's what she was, a model. "I live in NY but summer here in Maine. We are on our way back to Manhattan tonight on a late flight. This won't take long."

Liz sat down and looked at her and waited. She couldn't imagine what it might be. Would she be asking for money for some reason? A benefit? A fundraiser?

"You have no idea why I'm here, do you? I can tell by the look on your face. I almost wish I didn't have to tell you."

Liz waited, her breathing shallow and her eyes questioning.

"This child's father was your husband."

SURPRISE!

"What!! How do you mean?" She felt all the blood drain from her body.

"I met Dan when we both did a shoot for Sports Illustrated early last year. I knew he was married but I didn't know I'd fall in love with him. Danni was born just 3 months ago, the day after his funeral. He was going to be there for the birth........"

"You're lying! You're here to get support money from me! Get out of my home!!" She went to the door but Alex stayed seated, long tanned legs crossed at the abkles.

"I don't want your money; I make more than Dan and you put together. I want nothing but for Danni to know her grandparents, her Aunts and Uncles, her cousins."

"Get out! Now!" She knew she was screaming and the whole neighborhood could hear but she continued to scream until the car had driven off into the night.

Falling to the floor, she felt as if she had just been told of his death again. She sobbed until she frightened herself and crawled up onto the huge sofa. That's where she was when Jane found her after the Courthouse called looking for her to come in to work. It was almost 11 am the following day.........

Three cups of coffee later, she still couldn't tell Jane what had happened. Jane gave her one of her own valium and put her to bed. She checked back at 3 pm but she was still sleeping. The poor thing had not eaten since yesterday and looked totally shaken and destroyed. What could it be?

No-one heard from Liz for over a week. She just disappeared into thin air. When she returned, she was very thin and quite pale. She said she had to get away and think; she went back to work; but she just wasn’t ever the same employee and she resigned after 3 weeks.

When she heard that her in-laws had been informed of their new grandchild, she waited to hear what they would do. She wasn’t surprised when they embraced baby Danni. It wasn’t the baby’s fault that Dan had betrayed her, had killed whatever feelings Liz had left after his early death.

She could not trust men after that and knew she should go into therapy and get some help. But she decided to move to England and work there in the judicial system. It wasn’t long before she was in law school and then accepted a Judge appointment. She worked without dating for a dozen years and never returned to the USA.

She had a boyfriend for awhile but just could not trust him and never believed a word he said. She adopted a child and they lived in the country with a dog and some chickens. She laughed with them and volunteered for the homeless but her broken heart never healed.

Danni’s mother sued for half of Dan’s estate and life insurance and won; Liz had no comment to the Press. To her, Dan had never existed inside her heart and mind; he was a memory she buried along with his body.

"WHERE?"

"WHERE?"


It's Saturday but where's American Bandstand?

It's Saturday & the sun is trying to break through the clouds and fog. It's not a good day to hang the clothes outside on the clothesline or dig for clams or have a picnic or go skinny dipping or paint the fence or lay under the dark sky to think.

So I 'think' as I gaze outside the window of my home; I'm older now, not old. I 'think' as I fold laundry and iron and make beds and vacuumn. I 'think' about Saturdays long ago when I was young........

I loved to sleep in late and awake to the smells of my mother's baking and cleaning and the sound of her humming as she worked. I loved to hear my father working outside with his animals or fixing a broken wagon wheel or tending to all of the necessary jobs he had to do in the big field.

I would stretch and yawn and not have a care in the world other than where to go, with whom, when. Usually on Saturday, I'd go to the show to see a movie, meet up with girlfriends and walk the roads; and talk, always TALK!

When I was younger, Saturdays were loved when I could spend time playing with our dog, Sandy or playing hopskotch or marbles or hula hoop or ball. I spent many happy hours tagging along behing my older sister and brother, promising that if they'd allow me to follow them, I'd not tell tales on them for the pranks they pulled frequently.

Oh, Saturday....where art thou?

I long for a dog to snuggle up with; a tent to climb into; someone to play a card game like Muggins with; someone to pick guitar or blueberries with me; someone to say "Hey, Hed, wanna go swimmin' in the river after lunch?"

I look back at those golden, olden Saturdays as if it was Utopia. I loved my parents, my pets, my friends, my home-made toys, myself. I dreamed only sweet dreams; I didn't know what a real nightmare was; I was unafraid; I was brave; I was safe.

Then, suddenly, life happened. Saturdays now are just one day of the week. What happened to Annette Funicllo, Elvis, the Hardy Boys, the Bobbsey Twins, Roy Rogers & Gene Autry, Little Women, Nancy Drew? Heidi!

I want to ride my bicycle without hands; I want to ice skate on the frozen ponds, I want to ride our horse bareback, I walk to kick the can, I want to eat molasses & home-made bread, I want to smell beans baking, I want to eat fresh vegetables, fresh mackeral, I want to read Lulu and Tubby, I want to sing as I swing, I want to go parking, I want to .......

I want to......

It's Saturday; where's Dick Clark? Where's Frankie Avalon? Dion? Connie Francis? Elvis!

I want to think; I want to be 16 again; I want to know....

Where's American Bandstand?

JEAN

Jean


She was my favourite sister
Since when I was wed
She never used my real name
Always called me 'Hed';
We liked the same foods
We liked the same men
We both had 2 ex-husbands
Said we'd rather live in sin!

She played guitar & she sang
We loved the same songs
We watched the same movies
And knew right from wrong;
We never had an argument
She was my best friend
And I loved her dearly
Right up until the end.

She told me some secrets
That I'll take to my grave
She was full of the devil
And how she loved her Dave!
She'd laugh at all my jokes
Told me if I looked rough
And though I have my memories
They'll never be enough.

We buried her June 15th
And for me, it was so hard
I feel I've no family left
She was my Hallmark card;
I know Jean would agree
That yesterday was best
So I'll just have to accept
She is at peace & rest.


I love her & I miss her
Life just ain't the same
I cry when I sing our songs
And when I hear her name;
God, give her wings to fly
And your big hand to hold
And I'll see her in Heaven
When I'm worn out and old.


Good-bye, Jean
I love you, Hed

MY LOVE

MY LOVE


I've been gone awhile now
I left you years ago
You probably hadn't noticed
Things have been so slow;
I guess by now it's better
That I left when I did
Because if I had stayed
I'd probably just be dead.

You always kept me sheltered
From the heat & rain
You often rocked me to sleep
To dull away my pain;
The work I did was stressful
The daily grind was hard
I saw a simpler, easy life
Like a Hallmark card.

And so I moved far away
And left you in September
Still, when Autumn comes around
I always can remember;
How you smelled in April
How you felt in Fall
And always in December
I recall y'all.

So don't think for a moment
That I've forgotton you
Because when I'm on my knees
When I am sometimes blue;
Thinking of time gone by
There's not a single day
That I don't miss you, darlin'
My love........the USA.

POPCORN ANYONE?

POPCORN ANYONE?

It was my fifth day on my new job/placement and I had been given 2 new keys and instructions as to what to work on, etc. No-one was working Friday but me. I was excited as I used the first new key to open up the outside door into the new building. I didn’t see any cars outside and as it turned out, the other 3 or 4 offices were closed all day. Just as well……….

I inserted the 2nd new key into our office door lock and it would not turn left or right. After five minutes, I went to ask one of the cleaning ladies to help. She couldn’t get it to turn the lock either. I had no choice but to call my immediate supervisor, Shawna but she had left for their other office and I had no choice but to call her boss.

Joan said to let her know what happened so I returned to my office to try again. Voila! It worked! I called Joan to give her the good news. But after testing it numerous times, I knew better than to go anywhere as I’d be locked out again.

So at lunch time (noon) I had nothing to eat but a bag of popcorn which needed microwaving. The directions said 2 minutes so I set it and went back to work. Mistake #1…………..

I was on the phone when I heard the timer go off after 2 minutes and that’s when I saw the black smoke! Then I SMELT smoke! I hung up the phone and excitedly rushed into the small kitchen where I saw thick, black smoke pouring out of the tiny microwave!

I opened the door to retrieve the saddest, TINIEST, black burnt bag of popcorn imaginable. The room was full of smoke which immediately burnt my eyes so I ran to the window to open it but the handle fell off in my hands. It would not open!

I rushed into Brenda and Joan’s offices to open their windows but they were locked and in my haste, I did not see why they would not open at first. So I ran into my office to open that window; same problem. I finally had to open the door to our office and it kept slamming shut so I found a heavy chair to place in front of it.

Thick, black, disgusting smoke was pouring out into the hall. I knew that soon all of the smoke detectors would go off and the Fire Dept. would arrive. I was embarrassed, scared and humiliated! Surely I’d be fired!

I finally got a few of the other windows opened but not the one with the broken handle in the kitchen. A lady from the new Library came down to ask what was burning. She wondered why the alarms had not yet sounded? It started to get very cold inside so I put my coat back on; I hoped to God no-one would come walking in.

I had to call Shawna, my supervisor to tell her what had happened. She assured me not to worry and made me feel better. My eyes were burning and I smelled like smoke. I went in to scrub the microwave but the air stunk so badly, I could not. It was at least an hour later before I could go back in there to try to clean it. It was scorched a darkened yellow colour!

I went to the washroom to wash the soot out of my eyes; they looked bloodshot. I was so hungry but found a piece of candy in my purse. I had to turn the heat up as it was freezing inside.

I heard back from Shawna that the smoke detectors are ‘heat’ activated, not smoke activated. Thank God!! I could just see the headlines in the local paper: “Old Lady Almost Burns Down New Library Building!”

When the computer repairman from Yarmouth arrived to do some minor work, he asked: “What’s cooking? Smells terrible!”

ON THE ISLAND

ON THE ISLAND



As I sit outside by the ocean
The future's uncertain, unseen
The sun comes up every morning
The nights filled with sweet dreams;
It sets in a colorful viewing
Promising a time filled with stars
Alone with my dreams on the Island
I rest in my jail with its bars.

I see no way out of the crazy maze
That keeps me tied to this place
And I search for someone to listen
A pair of kind eyes in his face;
The sea offers good company
The fog hides me from view
I search and look and discover
That someone I'm missing is you.

Soon darkness returns with its shadows
The moon winks at my space
Where I sit on my Rock of Ages
Trying to remember your face;
A song brings back a smile
It tells of old loves, first & last
And alone with my dreams on the Island
My future's entwined with my past.

DEAR DADDY

Dear Daddy:


A dozen years without you
Just another Father's Day
To sit and think about you
Wish we were making hay;
I'd bring you vinegar drink
Give the horse some salt
We'd work awhile & then
Sit aside a bit to talk.

I loved to hear your stories
'Bout when you were a lad
How you made me laugh
When you were being bad;
We'd then stack the hay
And put it in the barn
Milk the cow, get the eggs
How you loved our farm.

Now I buy them at the store
Butter, milk and eggs
But I can't buy a daddy
Blue eyes and long legs;
How I still miss you, Dad
I sit upon the stool
You made just for me
Before I started school.

I pray you are safe and sound
And will wait for me
To join my hand with your's
Wherever you may be;
I miss you on Fathers Day
Like I do every night
Return to me in my dreams
And I'll leave on the light.

FOR JEAN

ROOM THREE TWENTY FIVE


Her calendar shows another New Year
As the Ocean outside, surges so near
The snow and sleet hit her window pane
Where my sister slept; her name was Jean;
Connected securly to her oxygen tank
For seven years, she slept here and sank
Some medications helped keep her alive
Let's open the door to room three twenty five:

There's her recliner where she sat up late
To watch the shows that she loved to hate
Reality shows, Makeovers, Oprah and such
Merely passing the time as she did so much;
Playing TV Bingo some Wednesday nights
Doing crosswords until she turned out the lights
Then taking a pill so she might sleep all night long
Dreaming of yesterday when life was a song.

A sweet, blond little girl whom God nearly took
At just age six, like a page from a book
But she lived on & on and made her life fit
Though sometimes she wondered all about it;
Why her small son had to die quickly?
Why her only daughter became so sickly?
Why God took her Mother then her boy friend?
Who should have been with her now, 'til the end.

Amidst tears and laughter she tried her best
As her beautiful daughter was taken in death
Then her son struggled abroad to stay alive
While she moved into room three twenty five;
She watched as her grandson left the nest
Then said good-bye as he moved out West
The oxygen tank kept pumping outloud
As Dave, her doctor, stood smiling and proud.

TV, books, a bit of company now and then
Passing the time while growing too thin
Still she laughed and was just so much fun
It was reasurring when the visiting was done;
Memories of younger, happier times filled the air
And she showed off her new blond color of hair
As one walked away, her early supper arrived
And she'd lift the lid, in room three twenty five.

Outside it was raining and no-one could see
The tears that fell as I stood 'neath a tree
I looked up at the sky and asked God aloud
"Why her?", did He choose, from all of the crowd?
I listened but no answer was given to me
Guess I'll have to wait like the whole family
Because now sister's dead, she's not alive
God rescued her from Room three twenty five.


Good-bye, my beautiful, fun-loving sister. I will miss & love you forever, Hed

CHOICES

CHOICES


Andy had his wife drop him off at the gate at the busy airport. The traffic had been heavier than usual and he was running a bit late and didn't want to miss his plane. The kids were both asleep in their back carseats and so he just blew them a kiss. He was only going away for a week and so he swiftly and absent-mindedly hugged his wife before running to catch his flight.

They had been awake very late last night, arguing as usual. She couldn't see him staying at a job just because it paid so well when his family hardly ever saw him. She claimed the children acted up while he was away and that they needed their daddy at home more. She told him that if he continued to travel so much, she would go back to work & leave the boys in a day-care centre, something they both had agreed they'd never do.

His airplane seat welcomed his solid, tall frame and he ordered a drink. As he looked out of the window at the town they lived in, he realized that he didn't really know anyone. Too busy to join the Lions or the Masons, too tired to join the YMCA, gone away too often to coach his boys sports teams and too disconnected to really care about his wife's hobbies, church and volunteer work.

As the big aircraft began its descent down the runway, he suddenly saw a picture in his mind of his family driving to their nice, comfortable home in the cul de sac; he saw their dog, Bounty, rushing to greet them and lick the boys faces. He saw his lovely wife, hair in a baseball cap, pulling fresh sheets off the clothesline. He saw her lighting the barbeque grill to roast some hotdogs and marshmallows for their supper........

Then he saw the swimming pool which he had just hired their neighbor, Josh to clean out for the summer. Josh always teased them that he was staying single in hopes that if Jayne ever left Andy, he'd step up to the plate and have a ready-made family. But the other neighbors were workaholics too and Andy didn't know them at all. He knew his wife was teaching the kids to swim and probably right now, she was putting on her bikini. He closed his eyes to picture her.........slim, tanned, busty.

"Care for a pillow?" the flight attendant was asking. He rubbed his eyes and wondered how long he'd been asleep. As he settled down to rest some more, he saw they had been in the air an hour already and when he awoke again, they were descending to Rio de Janerio. He stayed aboard the plane and waited and watched as a couple of hundred people deplaned and others shortly took their places, excited to be going to Paris.

Andy got out his wallet to check to make sure he had his Passport and money. He saw the picture of himself with his wife and sons and he held it close to his heart. He wanted to tell them he missed them and loved them but the phones were not working in English. Suddenly, he knew in his heart that this was his final trip away from home. He would email his boss from his laptop, immediately. After doing so, he wrote another one to the firm asking them to keep it quiet until he, himself, told his wife. It would be cause for a huge celebration! A party, even and he'd ask all their neighbors!

He couldn't wait to get this business trip over with and opened his briefcase to glance thru some of the important papers his lawfirm had entrusted him to deliver and get signed. Like a small boy at Christmas, he wanted the clock to move quickly so he could hurry home to their bright, sunny kitchen and swoop his beautiful wife up in his strong arms, swing her around the room and tell her the great news.

The aircraft was now full with 228 people aboard and was headed to Paris, France. The big, shiny Concorde was just 4 years old and had made this trip many times before. The weather was good and the wine was sweet as Andy put his seat back and dozed again. It was just before 11 pm and it had been a long day. How he wished he was home with his family, in his old shorts and Tshirt, tucking in the boys and taking his wife to bed.

He slept and snored softly while most of the passengers did the same. Few had their cabin lights on to read; all was quiet and serene. The flight attendants were seated as the Captain had suddenly put the "FASTEN SEATBELT" sign on, in french. Then, all of the lights went out! The music stopped; the movies quit. The aircraft dropped in elevation and then it swiftly and without any warning, continued to nosedive into the cold, open Ocean awaiting them.......Andy never woke up.

A year had passed and still Jayne was in shock. She watched as her small boys, both who looked so much like their father, played baseball. Josh was their coach and when she didn't feel like going, he took them with him. Come to think of it, he spent more time with them than their father ever did. She should probably make him their Godfather in case something ever happened to her.

When Andy's boss had informed her that had been Andy's last trip since he had emailed in his resignation, she had cried herself to sleep every other night. Life was cruel; a widow at just 32!

As she carried fresh flowers from her garden to Andy's grave, she wondered what was below the dirt. His body had never been found and she took small solace from the fact that over 200 of them were still at rest, at sea. Nothing of his had been found.

She started the barbeque up and placed some hamburgers and potatos on the grill. Soon her boys would be home and needing to be fed and bathed and loved. But what about her? The dog walked by and licked the salt from her bare leg. "What about me?" she asked Bounty. And he pulled her shirt towards the house next door; she laughed but he pulled harder. Suddenly, she was at Josh's back doorsteps and Bounty just sat down. When she tried to leave, he growled at her.

And that's where Josh found her when he pulled up with her sons; she was asleep with her head on Bounty's lazy, big body. And her choice was made for her..........

BABE

BABE

An old lady, she went dancing
Out on the town one night
She wore her highest heels
And her dress so tight;
She wrapped a fur around her
And slid into a car
The driver dropped her off
It wasn't very far.

She had lots of money
A widow, but not old
She hugged her fur around her
And felt a bitter cold;
As she paid her money
To get into the dance
She looked all around her
Knew she didn't have a chance.

The ladies were all in groups
The men sat at the bar
All were dressed casually
Some were from afar;
The music started playing
Too fast, too soon, too loud
And she felt like a stranger
In this little seaside crowd.

She went into the ladies room
And it was full of smoke
She knew it wasn't cigarettes
It smelled more like dope;
Two women were cussing
And mad at one another
One said to the girl in jeans:
"You'd screw your own brother!"

The dance floor was covered
With beer bottles and such
The band was strictly hard rock
No-one was dancing much;
She sat alone and listened
And suddenly felt so old
She walked all the way back home
In the fog and cold.

All she had really wanted
Was some male company
A joke and a laugh or two
And she got out her key;
Into her dark house she went
Took off her old fur
And curled up on the sofa
Into her little world.

She dreamed he was still alive
That he was holding her
Saying she was beautiful
That she was his whole world;
He carried her off to bed
And loved her all night long
And just before she fell asleep
He sang her this song:

"I got you to hold my hand
I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me
I got you to talk with me;
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you, I won't let go
I got you to love me so.....

I got you, babe."

LEFT OVER LOVE

LEFT OVER LOVE

There's the picture we had taken
When we were still together
And there's the ring you gave me
When you said it was forever;
There's the sheets we laid on
And your swimtrunks too
There's your bike in the yard
But baby, where are you?

There's the beer in the fridge
There's tall grass on the lawn
A sign says "HOUSE FOR SALE"
Does this mean that you've gone?
There's the baby's carriage
And there's the new doghouse
I wonder what has happened?
I wish I were a mouse.

There's a note on the fridge
It has my name on it
I take in my trembling hands
And find a place to sit;
It says that you're not coming back
And as I leave your house
I pick up all my clothes
But, that's someone's else's blouse!

There's lipstick on your collar
Even on your underwear
And as I run to escape
It's more than I can bear;
'Cuz there's a photo on the floor
That's been torn into
Our baby's in the middle
Of one of me and you.

There's the writing on the wall
As I lay my housekey down
And when I check the closet
I see my wedding gown;
I leave it with the set of rings
We had shaped like a dove
Just a sad reminder now
Of left over love..........

ELIZABETH

ELIZABETH


The hot, noon day sun beat down hard on the cotton pickers as she watched from the wide verandah. She was still wearing her mourning outfit as it had only been 8 months since she'd been notified of her husband's death. His whole platoon had been wiped out and was assumed dead & buried in the North. She began to weep as their baby boy crawled up onto her lap and wanted to nurse. She took him inside and offered her breast..........

Nothing would ever be the same again. It wasn't that the slaves she used were ever unpaid. She thought of them as hired help & made sure they were housed and clothed and fed plus she paid them a salary. No; it was the fact that there was mass destruction all over Georgia. Many had already moved to the city of Atlanta, starting to rebuild the place Sherman had burned to the ground.

After the baby had napped, she took him for a long walk, collecting berries and mushrooms; their big dog trailed behind, keeping a watchful eye on them. The night sky beckoned them home and she bathed and put her son, Alexander, to bed. This was when she missed her husband the most. Alone and lonely, she, too, went to sleep but not before shedding more tears.

The long weeks turned into months and soon her son had a birthday. The cotton was sold and she added the money to what she already had in the bank. She knew she was lucky to have enough to last well into her golden years. She had just turned 22 and was trying to adjust to life without her handsome, wonderful soldier/husband. She hated the Yankees for destroying her happiness.

One day, she and her son were inside the big house when her Maid said she had a caller. It was a gentleman who was sent ahead to announce that his boss was looking to buy some cattle and had arranged to pay handsomely for them. But when she discovered his boss was a Yankee, she politely but firmly declined the offer.

Two days later, she watched from the porch swing as another gentleman rode up on a beautiful chestnut horse. His riding breeches and matching jacket were of the best quality and she couldn't help but notice his trim, handsome profile. "Goodafternoon, M'am. Caleb Patterson here." He reached out to shake her small, soft hand. He had heard how beautiful she was but had not been prepared for her to take his breath away.

After stating his reason for the need of the animals and doubling his offer, she found herself relenting and sold him 10 of her prized cattle. He made arrangements to have them picked up the following day.

She hadn't expected he would be with the men from his farm but as they worked, she offered him some refreshment. Iced tea in hand, they sat on the big front porch and marvelled at the lovely weather and the view. They discovered they had many things in common and he asked if he may call on her and Alexander again. She found herself interested; still, the Yankees had killed her husband!

It was not long into their friendship that he proposed and she gave him her answer the next day; yes. It wasn't proper to court for long with a small child involved and people gossiping. The simple wedding was in sharp contrast to the beautiful, expensive wedding band he placed on her finger. She hoped that in time she would grow to love him as she had her late husband. Their wedding night was spent in Tennessee and was very romantic but her heart just wasn't in it.

They decided to live in her home and use his for his business needs. At home, she continued with the running of their large plantation and discovered she was pregnant immediately. By the time their son was born, she had begun to love him like a wife should. Whereas her first husband had not bothered with her at all while she carried his child, her second husband found her irresistable and they enjoyed their relationship right up to the time of her delivery. The baby was christened "Seth" after his paternal grandfather in Boston.

Elizabeth nursed her new baby and life went on. They were finally a regular, settled but happily married couple. He taught her how to golf and she taught him all about gardening. They belonged to a local church and volunteered their time with teaching poor families to read and write. Being one of the wealthiest men in the new South, they were popular in Atlanta but usually refused all party type invitations, preferring to keep to themselves.

But once a year they threw a big barbeque and invited folks from all over the state of Georgia. It was a day long affair and ended after dark with a huge display of fireworks. Around 4 pm, Elizabeth was nursing Seth and was just putting him down for his nap when her personal maid entered the parlour.

"Miss Elizabeth, excuse me but there's someone outside beyond the outer fence asking for you; he told the horse trainor to tell the butler he was a relative of yours. Shall I invite him in?"

"No; I'd better go see who it is, Emily. Thank you." The maid took the baby from her while Elizabeth buttoned up her long full dress. My, but Miss Elizabeth was looking mighty fine today! Every man at the barbeque was feasting their eyes on her but she only had eyes for her husband.

She walked swiftly and proudly out the back door and headed for the pasture, a pale blue bonnet over her black curls. She carried a parosol to provide further protection from the last rays of todays brilliant sun. With her free hand, she lifted the hem of her beautiful, navy blue dress with its white lacy neckline and puffed sleeves to walk down the path.

Trevor watched her approaching from the huge house and felt weak in the knees. She was no longer the young girl he had married but a very beautiful and enticing widow. He wondered how long she had worn her mourning clothes as he knew she had been informed of his death. How he wished she had not had to endure such untrue news!

She walked toward him, hesitantly and then slowed her gait to stare. No!! It couldn't be! She must be dreaming!

"Trevor? Trevor McDonough??"

And then she fainted!

He swiftly rushed to catch her and held her in his arms while she swooned. She was as white as a sheet and he waved his hat in front of her face to help revive her. When she began to come to, he gently whispered "Elizabeth; it IS me; your husband has come home to you. My God, how I've missed you!"

She half sat up and hugged his bony neck and shoulders. His face was the only thing she recognized; how could she forget his blue eyes? He was almost half the size he was before and was pale and shaky.

"Trevor! We thought you had died; your whole platoon......"

And so they spoke of the war and the child they shared and the burning of Atlanta. The sun began to go down in the east and they stood together in the long shadows of this spectacular day. She knew that soon Caleb would miss her and begin to come looking for her. Her breath caught in her throat; what to do? How to explain? How did she feel?

She felt elated and surprised and shocked to see him and thanked their almighty Father for his life. But she had promised Caleb that they would be husband and wife forever and ever and Trevor must accept it. But how to put it all into words?

But Trevor sensed a problem and immediately asked if it was with their son. Relieved when she replied no, he asked "Well, what is it, Elizabeth? You don't love me anymore?" And then he saw her wedding band...........

"I loved you when I married you and I will love you when I die. I would have waited if I had any idea you were still of this life. But, dear Trevor, I am another man's wife now. And I am obliged to continue our life together. Your son has been adopted by my husband and it would be too confusing for the boy to have two fathers. Please, try to understand.........."

But he did not; he could not. All he knew was that the family he thought would be waiting and welcoming him "home" with open arms, was some stranger's family now. As he mounted his horse to depart, he sobbed out loud, for his grief was overwhelming. She tried to speak but no words would come out and before they did, he had ridden off in the sunset of his life.

He was never heard from again and she kept the news of his survival to herself. As she watched their son grow and mature, she saw a younger version of Trevor and alone in the house, she cried. Caleb often wondered why she often stared off into space when the subject of the war came up. He knew she still felt hatred towards some of the Yankees who took her husbands life. And he couldn't blame her much.

As the years went by and she grew old with him, he couldn't help thinking how lucky he was to have met her as a war widow and who grew to love him as he had immediately fallen in love with her.

But Elizabeth never stopped watching for strangers riding up on horseback and asking to speak with her. Her heart wanted it to happen; her head told her it better not.

War is Hell; but friendship is the marriage of the soul.

AUGUST 18TH

AUGUST 18TH



Well, todays a very special day
For an Angel up above
And I just want to say hello
And send you all my love;
It seems like forever, Mum
Since I last spoke with you
And since it's your birthday
Here's hugs and kisses too.

It feels like many moons ago
That I was just a kid
And when you had a birthday
I didn't even know you did;
I was so very selfish
To think just of myself
And now I understand &
Imagine how you felt.

I grew up & went away
And tried to make it up
By giving you a birthday cake
And tea in a special cup;
You opened up your presents
And blushed a little bit
You felt guilty just to rest
Lay down or even sit.

Somehow you felt you had
To wait on us hand & foot
We took you for granted
Never saw you read a book;
Work and life devoured you
No organ time to play
How I wish I could spoil you
On this your special day.

But now the tears are falling
Because you're dead and gone
And someday I will join you
And we will sing a song;
Mum, I've always loved you
You made me what I'm today
This is straight from my heart
Happy Heavenly birthday!

DA SECOND WEEK

DA SECOND WEEK


It's the second week of deer camp
I got a tummy tuck
As soon as he left the yard
I sold his brand new truck

The old fog is rolling in
But it will soon burn off
I tried to call his cell phone
But they said he has a cough

I bet he's in Halifax
The Casino is my guess
So, girls come on ova
You can be my guest


It's the second week of deer camp
And all the girls are here
We play guitar & we dance
And eat up all their deer
The only time that we stay home
Is when the kids are here
The second week of deer camp
Is the best time of the year


I remember we went dancing
And my feet were so sore
I laid them in some man's lap
Until he heard me snore

We drank too much vodka
But then we drank some more
And all I can remember is
We slept on the bare floor

One's passed out in the trunk
The others' in the back
And who the Hell's that driving?
He says his name is Jack

We're home & we're happy
Without hockey on TV
We eat, we laugh and we drink
Until we have to pee



It's the second week of deer camp
And all the girls are here
We play guitar and we dance
And eat up all their deer
The only time that we stay home
Is when the kids are here
The second week of deer camp
Is the best time of the year!!!

GROWING UP

GROWING UP


Once upon a time there was
A little dark haired girl
Whose mum didn't just love her
She was her whole world;
She walked her to school
And then back home again
Helped her with homework
And taught her everything.

When the girl became a woman
And left home for good
The mum wanted to move too
In the same neighborhood;
She still fixed her dinners
And left them on the porch
She was always there to see
About her daughters hurts.

But when bandaids didn't fix
Her girl's broken heart
She came up with money
To make a brand new start;
And when her daughter married
And started her new life
Her mother was so happy
For her to be a wife.

So it was quite a surprise
When the tables turned
And Mum became so sick
And the daughter had to learn
That bandaids are not majic
That time marches on
And sooner than later
We die the day we're born.

Now the Holidays are empty
Since her Mum has gone
And now she has a little one
Slim & tanned & blond;
She waits on her hand & foot
Just like her dear Mum
And now her life is different
For it's only just begun.

FOREVER HIS ANGEL

FOREVER HIS ANGEL


"Your cancer's back." He said it as if the swallows had come back to Capistrano; as if the snow had returned in April; as if the children had all gone back to school in the summer.

She swallowed hard as he watched for her reaction. She wasn't going to give him the tears and sobs this time; she had nothing left to give.

"How long, Doc?"

"Maybe 5, maybe 6.........months. There's still radiation and...."

"No, Dr. Latino; I won't accept any more treatment. False hope is not in my vocabulary anymore. We've tried; we've failed. I'll leave it up to God now. Thank you for your help......"

They spoke a few more minutes before he embraced her and asked if he could call a taxi or a friend. "No; I'd just as soon walk home today; please."

The autumn air had a chill to it already and she pulled her collar a bit closer and put on her gloves. He had given them to her just last Christmas and she loved them. Hands deep inside her pockets, she walked briskly past the playground where a daddy was pushing his little boy on a swing. They smiled at her and she returned the smile; the lad's missing front teeth made her smile even more.

She'd never had children of her own; her husband couldn't stand them around and wisely, she recognized this in time to prevent getting pregnant. After their divorce, she thought about adopting but her career always seemed to be in the way. Now she wished she had children of her own; today she needed to be needed.

She passed the brook where she used to watch the beavers building their dams; past the old church that now sat alone, unused and abandoned; past the old plant which was closed now but where they used to go parking. She hastened her walk and soon reached home.

That night, she got out a calendar and looked at the dates ahead. Five to six months, he'd said. She was still healthy enough to travel but where? Why? When? Suppose she was taken ill, far away from home; how would she ever manage all by herself? No; best to stay here and face the music.

Music! She turned on the radio and it seemed to soothe her soul. A cup of hot cocoa in hand, she sat by the bay window and watched all the colourful sail boats returning home for the day. The sun was beginning to set and she thought about getting some supper. She knew that it was hopeless to continue with the many pills she had been prescribed and took by the dozens. She threw them all away and felt better already.

A week later she was making her bed with her favourite warm, fuzzy sheets and her electric blanket. Her friends thought it silly to be so early with the bedding they used for winter but she just smiled and said she wanted to be prepared. Old man winter sometimes arrived unexpectedly and nothing was predictable anymore.

A month went by and she noticed her hair was not going to grow back so she continued wearing her wigs. Sometimes she just wore caps and warm hats; what did it matter? Everyone assumed she was getting better and stronger; they saw her out walking every day and early evenings she could be seen walking down by the water, sketch pad in hand. She was quite the artist!

Then, it happened. She awoke one morning before dawn and threw up some blood. The same thing happend the next morning and the next. She knew from her lengthy discussions with her doctor, that this would happen and so she accepted that it was a sign of her cancer winning the fight.

"Open the door; why aren't you answering the phone?" he asked. She put on the tea kettle and they drank tea and ate some candy from her many boxes of chocolates he had sent her. "You've not been dieting again, have you? Why so thin? My God, you're bony!"

She reassured Zack that she was fine; not to worry. "Well, I do" he said. "I'm your brother and I know I'd be the last to discover if you were ill or...."

"No; don't even say the C word. Let's play some cribbage and then I need to nap, if you don't mind."

He looked at her strangely but understood she was a very private woman and had many friends who cared about her. They'd know if something was wrong and alert him. He relaxed and let her beat him in the card game, hugged her tightly and said "See ya, sis. Try eating more often than once a day, eh?" And they laughed........

As he drove away, she waved from the window. He lived two states away and she knew it may be the last time she'd ever see him again. She thought of all the times he'd had her back; how he'd protected her from being bullied at school; how he'd helped her build an igloo, taught her to dance, to shoot a bb gun, to skin a rabbit. She began to cry.............

She locked all the doors but one; they'd need to get inside and she didn't want the door to break. The glass in it had just been replaced last spring. Her computer was on, so she deleted all of her personal stuff and turned the radio off.

Sitting quietly in her favourite bathrobe and slippers, in her overstuffed chair, she thought only of him. The phone sat nearby and she was tempted. But how to say goodbye? She weakly began to write. My, but her hand was very weak. And then she softly cried herself to sleep until the cold midnight air awakened her. But she did not go into her bedroom; instead, she turned on her favourite music & opened her bathroom medicine cabinet.......

Her friend found her in her chair the following day when she came to see if she wanted to walk with her to the Fireman's breakfast. It was Saturday morning and the sun was shining, though the air was crisp and sharp.

She had told no-one about how sick she was or that the cancer had returned after 2 years of treatment. A sealed note was beside her body with an envelope marked: "Private".... for Aiden".

It was given to him by the police after her large funeral on Monday. He walked to the waterfront but could not bring himself to open it. Through tears and loud sobs, he drove to his home and put it away.

It was Christmas and he had been to her grave which was covered in snow. He still could not believe she was gone! No-body could! She was just 51, for Heaven's sake. He had bought an engagement ring for her and had planned to propose on Dec. 24th. Why hadn't he realized sooner how much he loved her? All those wasted years......

After he got back home, he turned on the lights of his Christmas tree and listened to the carolers outside singing "Silent Night, Holy Night."

He opened her note:

"My Dearest Aiden:"

"It is an old belief
That on some solemn shore
Beyond the sphere of grief
Dear friends shall meet once more".

(John Gibson Lockhart)

And as the carolers began to sing "O Holy Night", he turned the note over and saw a drawing of himself that she had dated the night of her death. It flattered him and yet, as his tears fell on to the sketch, he saw where she had signed it: "Forever your Angel."

The next day, he went back to her grave and buried the ring deep inside her final resting spot. No-one but he knew how very much he loved and missed her. Forever his Angel.........

HE'S GOT MY BACK

HE'S GOT MY BACK

You ask me why I'm smiling
Why I laugh out loud
You ask me if I'm happiest
Alone or in a crowd?
Well, darlin' let me tell you
Why I'm in love with Zack
He's not only got my heart
He's got my back.

When people talk about me
Or gossip and go on
About what I wear or say
From sundown until dawn;
When friends disappoint me
When family attacks
He's my best friend
He's got my back.

You ask me if I'm happy
And if he loves me too
Will I have his baby
And will we say I do?
I only know for certain
I'm in love with Zack
Because I'm proud to say:
He's got my back!

A SENSUOUS WOMAN

A SENSUOUS WOMAN

He was just an old country singer on the road with his band. They pulled the big tour bus into the hotel's parking lot and let the hotel handle their suitcases. He hung his western attire up in preparation for tonight's show and took a nap.

He dreamed that he was singing "Woman, Sensuous Woman" and felt a hush over the audience. When he awoke, he decided to add that song to tonight's show; he hadn't done it in ages.

After a hot shower, he joined his band for a supper of fresh trout and new potatos. Man, they sure knew how to cook in Atlantic Canada!

The stage was brightly lit for them as they took their places behind the heavy, pale blue curtain. He stayed down in his dressing room and did his deep breathing exercises. At aged 72, he could not sing as loud and as long as he used to.

He heard the band warming up the audience; it was a fully packed house tonight. He couldn't believe that people younger than himself, even knew who he was. The radio seldom played his hit records anymore.

He waited offstage for his introduction and smiled to himself. He had a great group of guys in his band "Po' Folks" and he thought of them and the bus driver as close family now.

He'd been divorced so long he couldn't even remember what it felt like to be a married man. But he lived it through his songs and his memories on long, hot summer nights. A good woman was hard to find these days and he'd quit looking. Besides, he was much too busy and having too much fun. He'd been a millionaire for over 5 decades now!

"Ladies & Gentleman, live from Nashville, Tennessee, country music's #1 sonwriter and a great singer.............give it up for MR. BILL ANDERSON!!!!!!!!"

He ran out onstage to the cordless microphone, picked it up and with a huge smile on his handsome face, began to sing one of his old hit tunes "Bright Lights & Country Music".......

The crowd was on their feet as he entertained them and some were even dancing! It made him feel so good. He was far from home and hadn't been too sure how Nova Scotia would take to his kind of music but obviously, they'd done their homework. They knew every word!

Then he saw her!

She wasn't standing up; she wasn't dressed in pearls; she wasn't shouting. She was watching and listening; a smile on her tanned face. He wondered if she was getting her money's worth tonight?

He studied her some more and was pleased that she was having such a good time. Perhaps she'd be outside for the autograph session after his show and they could have a chat.

He ended his show with a religious hymn but an encore was asked for and he gladly ran back onstage to do "Po' Folks." The crowd was still clapping 10 minutes later; he could hear them from his dressing room where he was changing his shirt. It had been a great show and now he could hear the traffic outside as they all drove back to their lives.

A half hour later he was facing a smaller crowd of autograph seekers. Some were buying his T shirts, CD'S, etc. He carried a bottle of water as he went to sit down at the table, picked up a pen and smiled for the first of many pictures.

She was last. She had waited patiently near the end of the line and almost all of the fans had left. He stood up to shake her hand, smiled and said "Hi, I'm Bill; thanks for coming out tonight".

It was then he realized she was not standing up. He looked down to see why not and saw that she was in a wheelchair. They spoke briefly and he signed both of her CD's that she had bought.

"What's your name?" he asked before he signed them.

"It's Elizabeth" she replied. She watched as his big strong hands wrote to her; he passed them back and she thanked him before putting them in her handbag. Their hands gently touched; her skin was tanned and warm and soft.

Suddenly, they were the only two left in the large room. He opened his bottle of water and took a sip. She began to turn her chair around to leave when he found himself asking: "It's not quite 11 o'clock. Would you care to have a bite to eat with me in the Hotel restaurant?"

He was tall; she rolled the arms of her chair and kept up with him as they were shown to a table. After some delicious home-made blueberry pie and three hot coffee's later, he walked her to her room. His was on the floor above hers and as he said good-bye to her at the door, he leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"I sang to you tonight but you probably didn't even realize it." He smiled as he said it, delighted in the surprise on her face.

"Oh?" she asked.

"Yes; it was "WOMAN, SENSUOUS WOMAN"; because you were the only one with-in view who fit the words."

It took a long time for her to fall asleep that night knowing he was just one floor above. Little did she know that he was having the same problem. There was no such thing as love at first sight; was there?

The band had checked out early and was long gone when her car arrived to take her home. At the front desk, she prepared to pay her bill when the desk clerk informed her it had already been taken care of. "Mr. Anderson paid it himself" he said.

And then he brought out a lovely bouquet of fresh flowers and laid them on her lap. She was shocked when he said "And he asked me to give you these; he wrote on the card......."

She waited until she had gotton home and had tipped the driver; then she opened the little card.

"Thanks for giving me much pleasure last night; it's been a long time since I had the company of a beautiful and classy woman. Best always, Bill."

The flowers were by her bedside every night for almost a fortnight. And she blushed........

HOEDOWN

THE LAST HOEDOWN

She threw herself a party
When the deal was signed
Walked away with money
And no-one on her mind;
Friends came from everywhere
To let their hair hang down
Into the wee hours of
"Heather's last hoedown."

They barbequed 'til midnight
Drank beer until dawn
Played strip poker just for fun
'Til nothing was left on;
Everyone was smiling
No-one wore a frown
Then they heard snoring
At Heather's last hoedown.

She made believe she was asleep
All curled up alone
As the crowd disappeared
She picked up the phone;
He said his plane had landed
She should just go to sleep
So she slept there on the floor
Without another peep.

When they drove away from there
And said their last goodbyes
She held her head up
And never even cried;
Money in her favourite purse
Her teary eyes still brown
Everyone had a blast
At Heather's last hoedown.

The flowers were all blooming
The old house just sat still
Awaiting it's new owners
Whose names were Jack & Jill;
And when they heard the foghorn
In the little seaside town
Just like a song, they named it
"Heather's Last Hoedown."

MY MOTHER READ TO ME

MY MOTHER READ TO ME


We did not own many books
So before I started school
How I loved to just hear
About the Golden Rule;
I used to sit and listen
Upon her apron'ed knee
I loved to hear her voice
As my mother read to me.

I lived for when my daddy
Took some extra time
To tell me all his stories
Of when, he too, was nine;
My favourite was the one
He told about the moose
And when he was attacked
By the neighbors goose.

My mother read me poems
My daddy told tall tales
I sat on my red stool
Or on high hay bales;
Listening and smiling
Believing every word
Dreaming I, too, could fly
Just like a wild bird.

Years flew by & they did too
And now I sit & write
What a pleasure it's become
Many days and nights;
I give them all the credit
For every rhyme & word
I love my favourite hobby
I fly now like a bird.

Sometimes I just write fiction
More often, the real thing
Sometimes they are so sad
They make the old eyes sting;
Poetry and short-stories
Are now my life, you see
And I thank God every day
My mother read to me.

#1

#1


You said that you would love me more
If I could play guitar
You said that you'd be proud of me
If I was a country star;
So I bought the white stetson hat
And a pair of cowboy boots
Signed up for my guitar lessons
Found my redneck roots.

Then before I even learned one chord
You found somebody new
And when I learned what a capo was
I learned about you too;
I learned to read notes and rhythem
But when I turned the page
You went out dancing to replace me
With someone half my age.

So it's just my new guitar and me
As I strum these old strings
I see your sexy winking eyes,
And long for times back then;
But the Opry stage's announcing me
Tonight it's my debut
My new record climbed to number 1
The same year I lost you.

SAW YOUR PICTURE IN THE PAPER

SAW YOUR PICTURE IN THE PAPER....

Saw your picture in the paper
On my way home today
As I stopped to buy some groceries
Before I went away;
God, you looked so handsome
Your bride looked lovely too
And I stood there speechless
Didn't know just what to do.

I bought a few odds & ends
A magazine, some fruit
Held onto the paper
Drove home a different route;
Stopped down by the river
Where we made love all night
My reflection in the water
Oh, what a pitiful sight.

Saw your picture in the paper
As I drowned it in the river
Got down on my knees
Before I asked with a quiver:
"God, how can I go on?
Help me, heavenly Father
How can I not tell him
I'm expecting his new daughter?"

Saw your picture in the paper.....

THE COWGIRL RIDES AWAY

THE COWGIRL RIDES AWAY


He saw my tears and still he just kept walkin'
He heard my sighs but he went right on talkin'
He left with a mere glimpse of yesterday
So this is where the cowgirl rides away.

And the horse takes me far and very fast
Until it's time for water and a rest
The sun goes down on all our yesterdays
'Cuz this is where the cowgirl rides away.

And my heart beats only for his soft caress
My lips stay moist & long for his sweet kiss
But "I love you" were words he just couldn't say
So this is where the cowgirl rides away.

SING ME TO SLEEP

SING ME TO SLEEP


Long ago when I was small
We'd listen to country tunes
By Hank Snow and Williams
Now it's been many moons.......
Life has been like those songs
Full of sad miseries
Sometimes it feels like
I'm tossed upon the seas.

Hank said he saw the light
And Snow was movin' on
Patsy sang about sweet dreams
And Tanya's Delta Dawn.........
I sing those songs aloud
When I go up to bed
I guess I'll be singing
Until I'm almost dead.

I sing about 'Yard Sale'
About love gone wrong
And I can sure relate to
'Four Walls' by Faron Young.......
I cry sometimes recalling
Love that used to be
I make believe your arms
Are still surrounding me.

But you and I have been apart
So many moons it seems
That I cannot remember
You, except in dreams........
When you died, you took
Part of me with you
And country music cannot
Stop these lonesome blues.

'Still' I sing Bill Anderson
And Loretta's country songs
Tammy and George's music
Makes me sing along...........
The older ones get to me
Each and every time
I taste your sweet kisses
In every sip of wine.

Sing me to sleep........

ALL SHE'D EVER NEED

ALL SHE'D EVER NEED

The rain beat down on the roof
Of the tin ceiling in the barn
The horse snored as he slept
'Twas soft hay all around;
She found a stream of sunlight
So she could rest & read
From her book named Heidi
All she'd ever need.

Her daddy sat her on his knee
As stories he did tell
And the snow fell from Heaven
Until the dinner bell;
She sat high on her red stool
As her hungry mouth she'd feed
And felt the love surround her
All she'd ever need.

Her choir gown fit just right
She sang aloud the words
And saw outside the windows
All the springtime birds;
Her mother played the organ
God's word they did heed
Her father rang the church bell
All she'd ever need.

But Heidi was just fiction
And horses don't live long
Choir, church, family
Life was just a song;
But dreams don't really happen
They wither & they bleed
At the time her dreams were
All she'd ever need.

MY BROTHERS OLD GUITAR

MY BROTHERS OLD GUITAR


How well I remember
When we bought our guitars
They were both made by hand
By someone from afar;
We were very happy
Like wishing on a star
And today I opened up
My brothers old guitar.

I stared at it all winter
Sitting in its black case
I could hear its rythem
I could see his face;
I just couldn't open it
The pain too much to bear
And then today I did it
It was majic to my ears.


The tune was right on pitch
Tho the strings need replacing
And it still smelled like him
Down inside the casing;
When his grandsons play it
He will be so very proud
Why, I can see him smiling
From way up in the clouds.



I left it out awhile
The sun shone on its case
And somehow I just knew
That it was Rodney's face....
Grinning and a humming
From a distant shining star
How sweet the haunting sound
Of my brothers old guitar.

THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL

THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL


The parking lot looked empty
On this hot spring-like day
The only car she saw was hers
She smiled in her shy way;
"Honey, I'm home" she softly yelled
And entered their nice, cool place
Hot as hell it was outside
She couldn't wait to see his face!

But the place was neat and quiet
No-body was inside
She rushed to the pool to look
And everywhere else outside;
But there was no sign of him
Inside she felt a chill
Was then she felt the first effects
The day the world stood still.

She ran upstairs to face the truth
Empty hangers in his closet
A missing suitcase, and his clothes
Made her immediately nauseate;
"NO! It can't be true!"
She screamed from deep inside
And part of her was lost that day
The part of her that died.

The honeymoon was over now
Just six weeks and he had gone
Why and where she knew not how
But her stuff he had pawned;
She almost didn't survive the loss
Her pain was dulled by pills
And hatred filled her young heart
The day the world stood still.

Years have passed and time's moved on
Yet the agony of defeat
Took the sparkle from her eyes
And trust in those she'd meet;
Life and love stopped for her
She still can feel the chill
God, how it hurts to recall
The day the world stood still.

WISHES

WISHES

A falling star makes me smile
As I walk in summertime
But catching snowflakes on my tongue
Or sipping on some wine
No matter what the season
No matter what the day
I wish that on your birthday
It was still yesterday.

I wish you were still fifty
And fifty-six was I
Every day seemed special
Before we said goodbye
Just the magic of a wink
A glance across the store
Left us both, longing
Oh, for so much more.

But life took us separate ways
So we play the cards we're dealt
Memories are all that's left
But I know how it felt
To have you for a little while
To dream how it might be
And if I had three wishes
These are what they would be.

The first wish would be simply
Good health for you, of course
And then for my second wish
That you never face divorce
Grass isn't always greener
Still, my third wish would be
When you close your dark eyes
That you'd remember me.

Happy Birthday!