A FATHER'S LOVE
Victoria was in the 2nd day of her isolation from the rest of the convent when she started to devise a plan. Being very careful to not alert the Mother Superior of her idea, she pretended to be truly sorry for her actions. The punishment given to her by Mother Katherine caused her little grief as she had fasted before and found it to be rewarding and challenging.
As the small, hard piece of bread and a bowl of water were slid inside the little, dark room, she ignored it. There would be 24 hours in which to consume both.
When she had missed Confession because she had overslept, she was immediately summoned to the main office of the Mother Superior. She was not allowed to speak; she was not invited to sit down; she was merely sentenced to 2 weeks of fasting in her own, privare space.
This time enabled Victoria to reflect on her life as a Novice working towards becoming a Nun. She spent much time looking back over her teenaged years and studied her predictament. It had now been over 2 years since she had decided to join the convent. In less than 7 months, she would take her vows and there would be no going back.
When she had accepted Edward's engagement ring at the age of 20, they had set a date to marry. Her heart embraced love. Her world was complete as all she had ever wanted was a loving husband and lovable children. Planning her wedding day took all of her time, money and energy but she was consumed with having her dreams come true.
Perhaps she should have spent more time with Edward. She suspected something was going on but could not fathom what it may be. When she caught him cheating with her sister, Alexandria, she felt her world falling to pieces. He begged her forgiveness and maybe she could have forgiven him, in time. But when he proved to be responsible for fathering her sister's child, Victoria could not bear the shame and humiliation.
It was their Priest who suggested the solution to her pain and suffering. At the time, she only wished to have an escape from reality and an end to the madness. After being accepted into the closest Convent to her Parish, she told no-one goodbye but silently slipped into oblivian.
In the beginning, she was curious about life as a Novice and eventually, a Nun. They spent the majority of their waking hours on their knees. If they weren't praying, they were scrubbing floors. At 4 a.m., they were expected to be kneeling inside the chapel, awaiting Mother Katherine. By dawn's early light, they were preparing a breakfast of fresh eggs, home baked bread and lemon tea.
The afternoons were spent reading their Bibles, cleaning the Convent, preparing the Chapel and praying. Confession was daily as was tending to the herb gardens and plants. Life was serene, simple and very, very lonely.
Now she found herself being severely punished for her actions. When she had fasted for the 7th day, she was no longer hungry but was very fatiqued and weak. Her room became her tomb and all she lived for was her dream to escape as soon as her pentance was complete. The 8th day brought with it a feeling of faintness and desparation.
As she awoke on the 9th day, she could no longer stand up alone and since no-one was allowed inside her tiny, airless room, Victoria sensed only gloom and doom. What if she died and no-one found her until the end of her inprisonment on the 15th day? She prayed, asking His guidance and forgiveness.
As she slept and dreampt and laid in a semi-consciouse state, she knew she was dying. She opened her eyes to see a picture of Christ on the wall. He was hanging from the cross as it was the day in which He was crucified. Victoria cried to see his suffering and wondered if He saw hers?
She heard the half slice of bread and small bowl of water being slid into her cell and tried to cry out. But she had no voice. "O father, forgive me of my sins and help me to find the strength to carry on" she whispered.
They found her unconscious on the morning of the 15th day. The Mother Superior was summoned immediately to the young Novice's room. There, she attended to her subject and placed her own rosary in Victoria's hands. They found a stretcher to carry her slim, emaciated body to the Infirmary. Her Parish Priest was called to administer the last rites.
As the family must be called when and if death is imminent, Victoria's family arrived at dawn on the 16th day. Their hearts broke in unison when they first saw her, their youngest daughter. They stroked her still, fevered face and combed her long, wet matted hair. Only God could help her now and they dropped to their knees.
She hovered near death all that very long day. But as the nourishment reached her and her bodily functions began to rejuvinate, Victoria slowly began to breathe on her own. And when she opened her big, blue eyes on the morning of the 20th day, she had turned the corner and they knew she would live. At least her body had survived; they all knew her emotional state would require much more time and patience.
When she was left alone with her own priest on the 24th day, they spent an hour together in Confession and prayer. Afterwards, he announced that Victoria would not be returing to the convent or to her family. She had requested to stay with her elderly grandparents in the country-side until she was well enough to re-evaluate her life and her hopes for a future.
As she left the Catholic hospital in a taxi to travel to her grandparents home, she felt the rosary that Mother Katherine had given to her. And she smiled for the very first time in many weeks.
"Thank you, Father. I thank you for loving me when I couldn't love myself."
Victoria was in the 2nd day of her isolation from the rest of the convent when she started to devise a plan. Being very careful to not alert the Mother Superior of her idea, she pretended to be truly sorry for her actions. The punishment given to her by Mother Katherine caused her little grief as she had fasted before and found it to be rewarding and challenging.
As the small, hard piece of bread and a bowl of water were slid inside the little, dark room, she ignored it. There would be 24 hours in which to consume both.
When she had missed Confession because she had overslept, she was immediately summoned to the main office of the Mother Superior. She was not allowed to speak; she was not invited to sit down; she was merely sentenced to 2 weeks of fasting in her own, privare space.
This time enabled Victoria to reflect on her life as a Novice working towards becoming a Nun. She spent much time looking back over her teenaged years and studied her predictament. It had now been over 2 years since she had decided to join the convent. In less than 7 months, she would take her vows and there would be no going back.
When she had accepted Edward's engagement ring at the age of 20, they had set a date to marry. Her heart embraced love. Her world was complete as all she had ever wanted was a loving husband and lovable children. Planning her wedding day took all of her time, money and energy but she was consumed with having her dreams come true.
Perhaps she should have spent more time with Edward. She suspected something was going on but could not fathom what it may be. When she caught him cheating with her sister, Alexandria, she felt her world falling to pieces. He begged her forgiveness and maybe she could have forgiven him, in time. But when he proved to be responsible for fathering her sister's child, Victoria could not bear the shame and humiliation.
It was their Priest who suggested the solution to her pain and suffering. At the time, she only wished to have an escape from reality and an end to the madness. After being accepted into the closest Convent to her Parish, she told no-one goodbye but silently slipped into oblivian.
In the beginning, she was curious about life as a Novice and eventually, a Nun. They spent the majority of their waking hours on their knees. If they weren't praying, they were scrubbing floors. At 4 a.m., they were expected to be kneeling inside the chapel, awaiting Mother Katherine. By dawn's early light, they were preparing a breakfast of fresh eggs, home baked bread and lemon tea.
The afternoons were spent reading their Bibles, cleaning the Convent, preparing the Chapel and praying. Confession was daily as was tending to the herb gardens and plants. Life was serene, simple and very, very lonely.
Now she found herself being severely punished for her actions. When she had fasted for the 7th day, she was no longer hungry but was very fatiqued and weak. Her room became her tomb and all she lived for was her dream to escape as soon as her pentance was complete. The 8th day brought with it a feeling of faintness and desparation.
As she awoke on the 9th day, she could no longer stand up alone and since no-one was allowed inside her tiny, airless room, Victoria sensed only gloom and doom. What if she died and no-one found her until the end of her inprisonment on the 15th day? She prayed, asking His guidance and forgiveness.
As she slept and dreampt and laid in a semi-consciouse state, she knew she was dying. She opened her eyes to see a picture of Christ on the wall. He was hanging from the cross as it was the day in which He was crucified. Victoria cried to see his suffering and wondered if He saw hers?
She heard the half slice of bread and small bowl of water being slid into her cell and tried to cry out. But she had no voice. "O father, forgive me of my sins and help me to find the strength to carry on" she whispered.
They found her unconscious on the morning of the 15th day. The Mother Superior was summoned immediately to the young Novice's room. There, she attended to her subject and placed her own rosary in Victoria's hands. They found a stretcher to carry her slim, emaciated body to the Infirmary. Her Parish Priest was called to administer the last rites.
As the family must be called when and if death is imminent, Victoria's family arrived at dawn on the 16th day. Their hearts broke in unison when they first saw her, their youngest daughter. They stroked her still, fevered face and combed her long, wet matted hair. Only God could help her now and they dropped to their knees.
She hovered near death all that very long day. But as the nourishment reached her and her bodily functions began to rejuvinate, Victoria slowly began to breathe on her own. And when she opened her big, blue eyes on the morning of the 20th day, she had turned the corner and they knew she would live. At least her body had survived; they all knew her emotional state would require much more time and patience.
When she was left alone with her own priest on the 24th day, they spent an hour together in Confession and prayer. Afterwards, he announced that Victoria would not be returing to the convent or to her family. She had requested to stay with her elderly grandparents in the country-side until she was well enough to re-evaluate her life and her hopes for a future.
As she left the Catholic hospital in a taxi to travel to her grandparents home, she felt the rosary that Mother Katherine had given to her. And she smiled for the very first time in many weeks.
"Thank you, Father. I thank you for loving me when I couldn't love myself."
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