Number 19

NUMBER 19


It was the 19th Remembrance Day dinner she had attended with-out him. She ran a comb through her white hair and smeared a bit of red lipstick across her thin lips. The black wool coat would do & she pinned the new, red poppy on her lapel.

Soon her tall son and his lovely wife would arrive to pick her up for the short drive to the hall. They both thought she shouldn't drive anymore though she still had a drivers license and a car. Sometimes she was tempted to just get in it and drive but wasn't sure she actually could find her way back home.

There were times she couldn't remember much; other times, she could recall when her late husband proposed to her, what she'd said, how she lived, loved and laughed. Now there were many times she wished she had no memory at all.

She looked up at the clock, saw she had dressed too early and sat down in a kitchen chair to wait for her son. She glanced across the table to visulize her late husband's face. He would be smiling with his twinkling blue eyes, sipping a beer or his hot tea and asking "Want to eat in tonight or go out, Mum?"

He had always called her Mum since she had their first and only child. She didn't mind; in fact, she loved it! This grey morning, she smiled to herself, remembering.

When he came back from the war, he never once spoke of it or the many awards bestowed upon him. And just before he died at the age of 65, he reminded her of his wish to have the Maple Leaf flag draped over his casket.

Her son arrived and helped her into the back seat of his car where she buckled up her seatbelt and greeted her daughter-in-law. She felt like a widow all over again; these dinners were lovely but took their toll.

The car was parked, her coat hung up, she bowed her head with the others while a Minister asked God's blessing on their food. And she began to cry....

People around her heard yet she was unashamed. They were tears for not only her late husband but for herself and all the war widows.

On the drive home, her son asked how she liked her dinner and if she'd enjoyed herself? Her silence spoke volumns and he turned up the radio. His wife turned around to pat her mother-in-law on the knee, a gesture of great comfort to her.

She waved good-bye as she unlocked the door, removed her heavy coat and unpinned the poppy. She saw all the other 18 in the drawer and felt fresh tears falling. How many more would there be? How many more would she have to endure with-out him by her side?

She sat in the dark and recalled her soldier boy.......oh, so handsome and fine in his uniform and cap. He wanted to be buried in it but of course, it was much too small. He gave up his youth for freedom and both of his legs for his country, Canada.

She added the poppy to the drawer......number 19.